Official Blog of Samira Armin Hodges

The Wait

2012-03-03T14:38:00.003-05:00

So I finished the manuscript for my second novel over a month ago. My publisher had given me a deadline (which, I totally appreciate now), and I worked my behind off to get the book done so I could submit it to them as promised. It took me months to write the book. But the submission process took second. I hit the send the button on my email and it was gone. And then I just sat there, half expecting a response right away. I had to remind myself that it takes TIME to read a book, let alone read it with a publisher's eye. So in the meantime, I tried to distract myself and move on with my life. I failed.

I'm still failing actually.

Let me say, first of all, how happy I am that I have a day job. Thank goodness for Pediatrics, for residency, for my daughter and husband and for worried parents! Because were it not for them, I honestly think I would seriously go completely insane. To this day, I still haven't heard back from my publisher (not an uncommon thing seeing as how they usually work on more than one novel at a time) and I gotta say....quite frankly....I'm dying over here. Picture a possum, playing dead. That's me.

Have you guys seen the movie Tangled? My nearly 2-year-old daughter is in a Disney movie phase and thankfully, she has awesome taste (seeing as how Beauty and the Beast is her favorite), because she really also loves Tangled. Thankfully for me, that movie is totally adorable and has lots of repeat value. And so there's this part in the movie, where Rapunzel runs away from her tower/home and she is at war with herself about it. She screams in joy, then stops and regrets her decision, then jumps around, then stops and considers going back and so on and so forth. Actually, let me just embed the link for you below so you can understand what exactly what I'm referring to. It's a one minute movie clip.

So see? This is me. Right now. And what I've been since January basically. On one hand, I'll think about Milestones 2 and go,

"I can't believe I'm done! I'm so proud of myself! YA!"

Then, in a more serious tone go,

"I can't believe I'm done...That was such a crappy job. What was I thinking? Oh my God."

Then, happier,

"What am I thinking? It's great! It's exactly what I wanted it to be! I can't believe I actually did it! Go me!"

Then, totally deflated, will add,

"Seriously. I can't believe I actually did it. I can't believe I sent them that manuscript. They are gonna think I'm total crap. I'm not an author."

Then, the next day,

"I can't believe I'm an author! I'm so grateful my publishers gave me the opportunity to tell my story! I hope people will like it!"

Then, the same day,

"People will so hate it. Seriously. What. Was. I . Thinking?! What's wrong with me?"

And so on and so forth.

Yes. It's good times here in the Armin-Hodges household. My poor husband has heard the majority of my rants, but in all honestly, pretty much anyone who has come in contact with me these last few weeks has heard some grumblings. And they've all played the supportive, loving role very well. So thanks to all.

I gotta be honest with you, the wait is killing me. I really think it's harder the second time around. The first time, I just sent out my manuscript and heard a bunch of rejections and moved on with my life. Then one day, I got my first 'yes' and before I knew it, I was giving my input on book covers, doing blog tours, book signings, launches and other amazingly exciting stuff. It all happened so fast. It was awesome.

With this novel, I feel more pressure. I feel like eyes are on me, and I don't know why, but I feel a lot of negativity. I feel a lot more skepticism. I honestly don't know why. I feel like those who read Milestones 1 were intrigued by it and are going to decide whether they really LIKED it based on the second book. Please note I'm not sharing this with you for any purpose other than to just share...ok?

I've also wondered if JK Rowling felt this way with all her subsequent novels. NOT THAT I'M COMPARING MYSELF TO HER. Nuh uh. No way, not ever. Just in a 'she's my writer role model' sort of way...just out of curiosity. I do wonder how she felt after she'd sent her manuscript to the publishers. How many times would they get edited? Would she have major plot flaws? What did her family members think of her books? How would she handle the negativity (if there even was any?). I had read in one interview that she almost had a nervous breakdown after writing the fourth novel because she noticed a major plot hole. I wonder if she knows how much better that makes me feel. Even someone like her has anxiety every now and then.

And so, to make myself feel better, I googled "JK Rowling writing tips" and here's what I came up with. My comments are in italics.

1- To write is to choose isolation and there will be adversity along the way, sometimes from the people closest to you. Omigosh, that is SO true. I think those who are closest to you may be least forgiving of all. That makes me feel so much better already.

2- Writing doesn’t always get easier. In fact, it can be more difficult for successful writers. Not that I'm successful or anything, but also very true. Definitely getting harder with the second novel.

3- Sometimes you have to get your writing done in spare moments here and there. Wait, what? Was she a resident too? Wow this woman is truly great.

4-What you write becomes who you are…so make sure you love what you write. I do. I really do. See? Feeling better already!

So that's what I've been up to.

*pause*

Seriously you guys. What was I thinking writing this book?! I totally just invited the world to crap on me. Sigh. Okay. I'm going to go YouTube the interview she did with Oprah and see if I can distract myself for a few more minutes....

Hope everyone is having a great weekend! Stay classy San Diego!

post signature

The Worst Age To Get Cancer

2012-03-01T09:32:00.002-05:00

This blog is going to be a little deep...and little sad. But it's a topic I've been writing about in my head for the last three years. But first, a small announcement. Today marks a small milestone for me. I'm done with the Pediatric wards portion of my residency. While I still have a small two week stretch of night float left (that's the night shift at the hospital), I'm essentially done with the hospital ward, the sicks kids and the cancer patients. You cannot begin to imagine how bittersweet this feels. Part of me wants to run around and do cartwheels while the other part feels so sad that I'll be just another "clinic doc" starting July. I even went so far as to thank all of my attendings for three years of teaching prompting all of them to give me super awkward smiles and hesitations.

Of course, it's me, so I had to leave with a bang. This last month was nuts. I mean, beyond nuts. There's a rule in medicine I've come to learn quite well: NEVER say HATE. Like ever. Don't say, "I hate constipation" because the minute you do, the ER will be full of constipated kids and you'll find yourself elbow deep in nastiness. Don't say, "I hate headaches" because not only will you run an entire ward of teenagers with uncontrollable migraines but soon, you'll have one too and you'll be asking people over and over if they have (and I quote) "pee in their urine". Yah. I've done that twice now. Both times, I meant to ask if they had blood in their urine (not pee, obviously. Duh.). The first time, the reaction I got was one of pure confusion. The second time, I realized what I'd said after the entire room burst out laughing at my expense. Good times, good times.

The mistake I made this month was saying that I don't like (I didn't even use the word hate), cardiac problems. I don't like treating extensive heart disease because no matter how big or small the problem, there is always the chance that this hospitalization will be their last. And I really hate that feeling. Thankfully, in kids, "codes" are a rare entity. Cardiac codes are an even rarer entity. Oh but I had two this month. So I really went out with a bang. Despite our best efforts to prevent the inevitable, hearts failed, and we were/are all a bit devastated. I was hoping to end the wards on a high note, but just like my emotions, it was bittersweet. Some kids went home, others did not.

On the topic of this particular blog, this past month also reminded me of one of the lessons I learned in residency. I've come to realize the worst age during which a child can get cancer. Can you guess?

Well, it isn't the baby age. Although rare, when babies get cancer, the lifestyle becomes such a quick habit that they don't know any different..or any better. The hospital becomes a familiar environment and they think all babies go through what they go through. They kick and scream when poked and treated, but forget five short minutes later and coo and smile and grab for your monkey-badge. It's not easy, but it's doable.

Toddlers aren't bad either. They are tough because they don't 'get it'. You can't explain why you're doing what you're doing. They think you're mean, horrible and often times, their parents are stuck between supporting the doctors and supporting the child and the situation becomes pretty sticky and awkward. Toddlers don't understand what's happening. They don't get why people seem to always come at them with needles and bad tasting 'medicine' and why we wake them up all the time and don't let them move or do anything fun. But they are easily distracted. They don't forget immediately, but they forgive. And eventually, when they are cured, they DO forget. And that's the best blessing of all. Their long term memory hasn't started building yet. So you do what you have to do, knowing well that they will still have a childhood, still have a life and still likely be happy someday.

Teenagers aren't easy either, but they've matured. They have seen enough movies, lived enough of life to completely reject their diagnosis --- then eventually embrace it, and find the strength to fight and beat it. Most teenagers with cancer have the BEST outlook on life. Most set their minds to beating their disease and they just....well, they just do. They set little goals, like going to the prom, and then achieve those goals. They cry when their hair falls out, but the next day, they accessorize with funky hats and wigs and smile proudly at everyone. They WANT to go to school. They WANT to be normal. They set goals and they have dreams and they realize that cancer isn't necessarily the end for them. So they put up with it, and move on. They grow up very fast.

So that leaves us with one age range. That is the age of the 'pre-teens'. If you ask my opinion, it's the worst age ever to get cancer. Specifically the 11-12 year old kids. These kids are just old enough to be scared to death of what they have. They know just enough about death to not understand it. They are just smart enough to understand only the really scary parts of what is happening. They've watched just enough movies, to not want that for themselves. They aren't mature enough to rise above their situation. The only thing they are mature enough to do , is be scared of the future. The kids I've seen who have cancer in that age range, have made themselves and their parents crazy. They reject their diagnosis. THey don't understand why it's happened to them. They want nothing to do with it. They throw up, they cry, they don't eat, they don't move, they go home...and then they never want to come back. Not understanding fully that the alternative to no treatment is the very thing they are afraid of. They don't understand death...they are only sure of one thing: they are scared of it. And that fear consumes them. And paralyzes them. And they get depressed. And moody. And withdrawn. And spiral further and further down while everyone around them reaches out to rescue them...but their paralysis prevents them from being rescued.

I'm not sure if this is true, or just my own personal bias, but I feel like that age range has the worst mortality. And it's just because the level of maturity is a curse. They are mature enough to know they aren't normal, know something really bad has happened to them, know the possible outcomes...but not mature enough to rise above it, find the strength to beat it, or eventually embrace it. For pre-teens with cancer there is only one emotion: fear. Which is why, whenever I hear about a pre-teen with a bad diagnosis, I sigh a deeper sigh. No matter how you word something, they only thing they hear is "death, dead, and die". Even if you say, "you have a 95%chance of beating this thing!", they don't hear you. It's tough. And sadly, it's toughest on the parents. So if you ask me, the worst age to get cancer is eleven or twelve years of age. It inspires me to write a book for them. A book about cancer...but with a happy ending. And light. And perhaps real? I don't know.

On that note, thanks to the awesome guilty pleasure of Laineygossip.com (if you haven't been there yet, you're totally missing out), I came across this website. It's a blog. The bloggers name is Ashley and she is a young, 34 year old mother who has metastatic choriocarcinoma and has been dealt a pretty horrible hand in life. Though you'd never know it by looking at her or reading her blog. It's a MUST see. We all need to be reminded , every day, to enjoy every minute of the short life we have.

So I'm leaving you with that website and with the following video entitled "A rite of passage", where Ashley shaves her head. Seriously, it's like she is even more beautiful afterwards. Her motto is to CHOOSE JOY. How amazing and inspirational is that?

We could all only dream to be so beautiful, inside and out.

post signature

The Vow - movie review

2012-02-26T12:54:00.005-05:00

The thing about movies like this, is that you need to decide (if you're even going to see them), whether you want to set the bar low, or high. I set mine low. Super low. And even with that, the movie left me leaving pretty indifferent...but it also left me thinking about my own life. So in that sense, it was pretty interesting.

The movie is based off a book by Nicholas Sparks. You know, he's The Notebook/Dear John guy. Which means he likes to leave you feeling pretty unsatisfied at the end. Like you're yearning for a proper conclusion. That's actually his M.O. He doesn't like to leave you with a real ending. It's always "mystical". And I don't like it. I don't go to the movies to feel unsastified. I have enough of that at the hospital. I go to watch something happy (however unrealistic it may be). But I also knew and expected that part. So that makes it a little easier, I guess. Plus, it's Nicholas Sparks, so I also knew the love part was going to be all "give me a break-ish". But, it's also Nicholas Sparks, so I knew the character development would be intriguing and that I'd be hooked into the story line from the first scene. Which I was. So it wasn't a total waste of my time. I even think there is some repeat value to the movie -- if you can stand to swallow the give-me-a-break parts.

The Vow actually left me thinking a lot. The concept itself is pretty interesting. And to a certain extent, I totally related. The story (without spoiling anything) is about Paige, a woman married to Leo, who gets in a car accident and loses her memory. Well, the last five years of it anyway. When she wakes up from an iatrogenic coma (this means: a doctor induced coma), she doesn't remember her husband, her life and is basically really confused about the person she's become. She finds out that in five years, she went from being a law student to being a freelance artist, from living in the suburbs to moving into the city, from living with her parents to living in an apartment, getting a whole new set of friends, changing her look, breaking up with her boring high school sweetheart to eventually falling in love and marrying an entrepreneur. It wasn't until after I left the movie that I realized how similar this was to my life.

My life also changed dramatically in a matter of five years. After I graduated from university, I was working in a bank, was in a relationship I didn't want to be in, living with my parents in Toronto, and most of my hobbies and friendships were....well....not what I truly wanted. It was a single decision that made my life take an amazing detour that brought me to this day. In a day, I decided to quit the bank and pursue my childhood dream of being a doctor. I left Toronto for Grenada, broke off my toxic relationship, then met this Texan who would beg me to take a walk with him on the beach. That night, when a few stray dogs would follow him around, I would laugh more than I ever had in my life. We would then spend the best two years of our lives in the Caribbean, fall in love and marrying two years later. We would move to Michigan and eventually to Texas, where I would become a Pediatrician and have the most perfect little girl (who pronounces it Tey-xas and exclaims Oh-ma-gosh! every chance she gets). Somewhere along the way, my husband would inspire me and encourage me to polish this silly book I'd written....and somehow, it would get published. I'd finally become the person I always wanted to be. I would cut off my unwanted relationships , nurture the ones I wanted to keep and make a bunch of new friends that I would cherish....

So after watching The Vow, I guess I related a lot to Paige. Supposedly, this story is based off a true story -- so I felt really sorry for this woman, who basically lost the most important five years of her life. It's amazing to see that despite being robbed of those memories, she still eventually found her way back to where she was supposed to be. What's meant to be is meant to be...She was meant to be an artist , and meant to fall in love with Leo, meant to move away from the suburbs and live the life that would make her so happy.

So in that sense (and only in that sense), The Vow was pretty awesome. Because that concept, the concept that one decision has the potential to put you on a separate trajectory that completely changes your life...is true. You just have to go with the flow I guess, and be open to all the possibilities out there. I did. And I'm soooooo grateful for that. The 32 year old Samira would be so unhappy if I woke up one day and I was 24 again. That girl was so confused and lost. She wouldn't know a good friend if it bit her in the armpit (that's a line from Runaway Bride for those paying attention). She didn't even know what she wanted.

So for all of you still stuck in the confused part of your life...just take a leap, do something unexpected, see the world...and somewhere along the way, you'll never want to look back.

Below, the trailer for The Vow. Don't mind the cheese. Focus on the bigger concept. It's a good one.

post signature

Quick blog post

2012-02-01T05:31:00.003-05:00

It is way too early for anyone in their right mind to be awake, but I am. Because I start another ward month today and apparently, everyone and their sister (and brother) is sick. It's a weird thing about doctors; sick kids bring us "business" so to speak but most of us would rather not see that sight.

A few quick comments:

1- To PinkSunDrops, I can absolutely do a blog tour on your blog (no permission required!). You know I'm a big fan.

2- A quick shout out to my brother in law who is a very loyal blog reader. If there are any single, beautiful, intelligent, all-around-perfect hunting ladies out there who live in the greater Houston Area and would like to meet a most WONDERFUL guy, just let me know. But I have to screen you first. Sorry B, I can't help myself.

3- I was asked what "Stay Classy San Diego" is all about, and why I specifically always refer to San Diego. Well...there's just no way for me to explain that, so I will go ahead and refer you to the clip below. It should say it all (LB, where are you?)

So that's all for this early crack of dawnish morning. I better get myself to work before more people realize their kids are sick.

And on that note, Stay Classy San Diego (but mainly, Stay Classy).

Ps. As a side note anyone seen the movie "One Day"? What a waste of 2 hours!

post signature

Happy New year!

2012-01-30T16:34:00.002-05:00

Wow.

I'm sorry I've been away from the blog for so long but 2012 is shaping up to be a busy year (note to self: quit committing to new projects until you've accomplished stuff first). First of all...... Happy New Year! Did everyone make a resolutions list? I did of course, and then I watched the movie "I don't know how she does it" and realized that it was talking about me, and hence, my relationship with making lists changed a little. Though not a lot. Instead of just making them, I now make them , and attempt to tackle one thing at a time (instead of all of them at once)...which so far, has worked wonders. This last little while, I've somehow managed to get a medical license, register for my boards, do a crazy huge presentation at work , finish a giant task that's been a huge monkey on my back (see below) and start on my research, plus do a bunch of other work stuff...So it's been busy to say the least. The downside is, I'm never groomed, I'm always tired looking (32 going on 42), I am really bad at keeping in touch with my loved ones and always seem to forget birthdays recently, and I can't cook to save my life. :) But everyone has their strong suits, right?

So updates!

For starters, I should mention an update to my couch to 5k app, and I'm still totally doing and LOVING it. I'd say I'm about halfway to running a 5k. I totally recommend it as it only requires a 3 day a week commitment, it's only about 30 minutes per session and TOTALLY do-able. Now if only I could figure out how to get on pinterest (I know, I know, I'm a bandwagon jumper). But really. Couch to 5k is going much better than P90X went.

Second, I went to Canada over the holidays and had a marvelous time. Here's a problem with settling down away from your "home". Most days, I don't miss Canada and am completely content with my new life, happy with the knowledge that I never would have met my husband, had my daughter, met my new amazing work friends, gotten my training and met the best in-laws in the world, if I had stayed in Canada.... BUT, every time I visit Canada, I think I develop a mild depression and end up wondering why the heck I don't live there anymore. I mean, it's a fantastically multicultural society that has SO much to offer, and it's just SO darn safe...The only drawback really is the weather. But other than that....Canada is just fantastic. *sigh* I miss it. And I miss my family and friends. But maybe (just maybe), after all this is said and done, I'll actually be able to go more than twice in three years. Who knows.

As an update of my life in a more professional realm.... next year, I've decided to accept a fourth year chief residency position. I am SUPER excited to do a lot of academic stuff all while starting my practice (I currently have a practice in residency, but it's only a half day a week and you can imagine how frustrated my patients get when they only get to see me one out of every 3 visits!). So it will be very nice to expand upon that. I'm very excited and thankful to my hospital and academic center for offering me this very prestigious opportunity. :)

And finally, I should talk about Milestones 2. The very reason for the delay in blogging. Well, I'm happy to report that it's finally DONE! These last few months, I've been working diligently at it, making sure to spend every last moment typing, (so I've barely even sent emails), on my book! And just a few weeks ago, I finally finished it, and then stared at the wall for a few hours, in total shock that I had actually managed to accomplish this task in residency.....And then spent the next several days scrutinizing it (and nit-picking at it to death)...until I finally gained the courage to send it to my publisher.

SO here I am!

Waiting anxiously for some feedback. Because here's the thing about writing books: you may love what you wrote one minute, and then hate it the next. And while I'll say that I'm overall very pleased with Milestones 2, I'm still in the "I wonder if it's any good" stage and am essentially dying for some feedback. Unfortunately for me, publishers actually work on more than one book at a time, so ...I'm in this awkward limbo stage.....just waiting....and waiting....And even though it's only been a few days, it feels like an absolute eternity.

Thankfully (or not), I start another ward month on Wednesday (cue the darth vader music) and then have night float in March, so I'll be so damn busy I probably won't notice anything (or anyone) for the next two months....And as far as I know (in case you were wondering), Milestones 2 (that's not the name by the way), is set to be released this spring. So once the momentum gets going, be expecting lots of promotion including:

a) A new blog look
b) A blog tour (my favorite!)
c) Book signings (my other favorite!)
d) Lots of blog posts
e) Etc, etc....

And anything else my publisher wants me to do (which I truly love doing because it may actually be the farthest thing from medicine and the most cathartic thing for me!).

So that's the update for now. More blogging to come tomorrow! I've got so much to tell you! Sorry for all the exclamation marks, I guess I'm just a little excited!

In the meantime, stay classy San Diego!

post signature

And in 6 months I'm a real doctor...random Sunday thoughts

2011-12-04T19:14:00.002-05:00

* It's December, which means that in June of 2012, I'll be attending yet another graduation . This time, I'll be graduating from residency. And hm. That may actually be my last graduation. In a way, that feels strange and in another, I think I'm done matriculating. If you count the 8th grade, this would be my 5th graduation. That's a lot of education. I'm 32 years old. *small tear*

* On another note, I got the new Iphone 4S. I have already spent plenty of time messing with "Siri" and her sassy answers. I do have one question though. Am I the only one who thinks "text-talking" is a ridiculous concept? So many people are saying, "You can talk into your phone and it texts it for you", like this is some crazy ingenious concept.

But like, what I want to know is...why not just call somebody? Am I missing something? If you're talking into your phone, and your friend is talking into her phone....why aren't you talking to each other? Why are you text-talking? I don't get it. Even more reason why technology only serves to de-humanize us, right?

*Speaking of Iphones though, I downloaded the "Couch to 5k" app in the spirit of doing something before the New Year for a change. For those of you unfamiliar with the app, supposedly, this thing will get me running 5k within 6 or 8 weeks. I'm already uber skeptical...but I'll keep you posted on my progress. It's like P90X all over again. Why do I do this to myself?

* I'm going to Canada. THAT'S RIGHT! Canada in like....3 weeks! It's been a while. I'm super excited. In case you can't tell. Bring on the freezing weather, the Maple Leaf spirit, the Duff's wings, the Coffee Crisp, the poutine, the Tim Horton's and Canadian Spirit! How I've missed thee!

* In the land of parenthood, I gotta say , potty training is interesting. I'm in absolutely no rush to accomplish this task but I'm just so surprised at how nobody warns you of the challenges that lie ahead. I mean, sure, potty training your kid is challenging but FINDING A BATHROOM is even more challenging. It's like every time my kid needs to pee, I can't seem to find a flipping potty. I'm almost tempted to just carry one with me wherever I go. But that's a whole other topic.

Well, must run. Quick and dirty today. I still haven't forgotten about my promised Harry Potter posts.

Stay tuned and happy soon to be January! (you all know this month is gonna zip by even quicker than the last).

post signature

Update on Milestones 2 .....and boogers

2011-11-09T05:43:00.003-05:00

Some VERY exciting stuff today in my book world! *nerdy happy dance* The new publisher's weekly e-newsletter features a sneak peak at Milestones 2 (name is yet to be determined) and is also giving away 25 copies of book 1 !!!

Click HERE to see and scroll down to read the description of the second book. You can also click on the top links for more information about me, though if you've read my last post, I'm pretty sure you got the gist there.

In three words or less: ET phone Canada.

Also, EGADS! I must retract a former statement as I had a complete brain fart and senior moment yesterday in my blog post. I apparently have gone looney and have forgotten the proper way to spell the word "loonie" - i.e, the good old Canadian dollar coin. That just goes to show how disconnected I am. Thanks Jen. If I had a tail, it would truly be in between my legs right now. *sniffle* But I guess this is even more reason to pay a visit to Canada in the near future, right? I'll be making the decision in the next few days, so stay tuned. The alternative is to go to Dubai to see my parents but the thought of taking a 14 hour plane ride trip with a toddler makes me nauseous and fankly a little....well, looney.

Anyway, back to Milestones. Make sure to enter for your free book giveaway if you don't already have a copy. The second book features many twists and turns and even more surprises than the first one!! More book blogging to come real soon!

In the meantime, stay classy!

Ps. I just have to comment on one last thing. As a Pediatrician, there are not too many bodily functions that gross me out (when it comes to kids). In medical school, it was always the adults (sorry guys) that would tickle my upchuck reflex and made me regret going into medical school. Blood , guts and glory didn't gross me out, but adult poop, body odor or pus? Ew and no thanks.

With kids (and babies), they could poop ON me for all I care. Anything they do is cute in my world. Well, almost anything. I do, actually, have one small area of sensitivity when it comes to kids (even my own) and that is nose picking. I cannot, *gag*, watch, *gag*, anybody, *double gag*, even a cute kid like mine, *vomit*, pick his/her nose. NOT cool.

Ever.

And don't even get me started on how I feel if they attempt to, or succeed in eating it. *hurl* . Like that one time where my best friend's kid was picking her nose and she (the mother), proceeded to HELP HER in fishing out her booger and then thought I wouldn't mind holding it (!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) afterwards.

You know.

Cause I'm a pediatrician.

*glare*

So that makes me human tissue.

Yah.

I'm still bitter about that Andrea.

And you know, the biggest problem with kids? Nine times out of ten, they couldn't care less if you're watching them. And the problem with me? Nine times out of ten, I find myself looking at them despite my better judgment. It's like a train wreck. A disgusting, vomit-inducing train wreck.

Nasty.

Agreed?

Pps. My other best friend is stuck in Africa and in some significant amount of social turmoil -- please be safe!! And come back soon! And don't pick your nose!

post signature

Texas and Canada

2011-11-08T06:00:00.003-05:00

About a third of my blog posts have to do with my new life in Texas. A former (and true) Canadian, I've been living here for about 2.5 years and still have adjustment issues on a daily basis. Like how the heck I'm supposed to dress in the winter. These last 2 years, I basically just dressed in layers and found myself freezing in the mornings, and sweltering in the afternoon. I couldn't win. This year, I had a eureka moment. I decided it would be best if I just glanced at the expected weather pattern on my phone every morning. I've even learned how to read Fahrenheit (side note: seriously - Celsius is just SO much more intuitive! Freezing = 0. Boiling = 100!). But how in heavens name is this range supposed to be useful ?

A High of 82F and Low of 40F.

Uh .... That's like a 40 degree difference. That's about as helpful to me as a candle in a snow storm. Thanks Texas. I'll just pack my snowsuit and bathing suit in my car and prepare for bipolar weather every flipping day.

Which brings me to my next point. I've recently become very impressed with two television characters. The first one is Robin from How I Met Your Mother. Have you had the pleasure? She is me. I am her. She does an awesome job of portraying the quirky misunderstood Canadian in a group of die-hard Americans. For every 5 jokes she tells, Americans probably laugh at a quarter of them, while I sit there and wish I had a friend like Robin. And laugh my butt off.

SO me.

SO accurate.

The second one, (and I'm somewhat ashamed to divulge this tidbit) is Rachel Bilson. So she's in this new show called Hart of Dixie. The name alone is cringe worthy and the writing is not exactly Pulitzer prize worthy, if you get my drift. The story however, centers on this girl, Zoe, who is a doctor (ahem), who moves from NYC to this super duper small town called Bluebell Alabama. I don't even know if I spelled that right.

But it's like the icecream.

Oh and I just have to say as a side note: Bluebell Ice Cream is not all it's cracked up to be. And now I'll duck while all you Texans throw your cowboy boots at my head.

But you guys, omigod, this girl...is totally me.

I mean, the encounters with huge bugs and critters, the fact that she was so shocked when the town was dead on a Sunday morning because everyone and their dog was at church, the big communication gap between her and the small-town folk...it's truly uncanny. I am completely mesmerized by this show because I relate to it on a completely different level. I mean, she didn't know what grits were. That's me! What the heck is a Kolache and what isn't it pronounced the way it's spelled?! And why do Texans use the word Ornery like I use the word "the"? And why do they pronouce it the way they do?

And don't even get me started on riding gators.

Or WHY the water tap tastes like that?

Why does it?

Even after two years, this land feels so foreign to me. I know I've gotten used to some elements of the southern, small town life (i.e, sweet tea flavored EVERYTHING. Including vodka!) - but I can't help but miss my home and native land. So much so, that I think I am inadvertently brainwashing my toddler who woke up the other day chanting "Ca-na-da! Ca-na-da!"

I miss poutine, and ketchup chips, and Loblaws (dude, Arrested development and their Bob Loblaw? Does anyone fawn over that show the way I do?), and winter, and colorful money and looneys, and skating, and skiing, and cursing at the weather for 6 months straight, and white Christmases, and getting lost in large crowds, and Sarah McLaughlan, and a normally timed Thanksgiving, and Yorkdale mall (that's right, I miss it!), and Tim Hortons (*sob*), and multi-culturalism, and French (Tu me manques!!) and my friends, and my family and....

Canada.

Just plain, Oh Canada.

True patriot love over here.

*sigh*

I think it's time to come home.

post signature

November

2011-11-02T06:09:00.005-04:00

Uh. Yah.

Truly, I have no intention of making this a once a month blog. I may need some motivation on your part though, if you're reading this, if you're waiting for another post - a proverbial kick in the butt, if you will. It's not that I don't enjoy blogging, it's that I have completely immersed myself in work these days and the little time I have left goes straight to my little family. In a way, I remind myself of my dad, the other Armin workaholic. He's not a doctor though. A question I get asked quite often. There are no doctors in my family actually. Oh wait - unless you call a PhD a doctor but that's a running joke in my family that I'm not even going to attempt to tackle on this blog.

The thing is, I've never been the workaholic type. I seek excellence in every task , but I think what makes me ME is that I always have my paintbrush dipped in a few colors. Hence the blog, the book, the million little side projects. I used to take pride in being a well-rounded individual but I also laugh at medical school interviewers who pretend those are the type of people they want to recruit into their schools.

In reality, they should be recruiting people who eat, breathe and live ONE thing. School. Homework. Medicine.

Because the rest of us - the ones who run marathons, have families, have hobbies and other serious goals in life - are the ones who lose the most when we enter the field of medicine. Everything else takes the back burner. You have no choice. It's not a decision - it's the right thing to do. Often times, when I am working, I get a little pang in my side when I am reminded how important my job is. It is ANYTHING BUT 9-5 employment. Once you've dedicated your life to medicine, you have a legal and moral obligation to put your patients first. Someone is coming to you in need of medical help (is there anything more important than health?), and the sooner you understand that, the better life will be for everyone involved. You just (morally) cannot tell someone, "I'll get to your lab results after I've had my run" or something equally offensive.

That family, that person, comes first. No matter what field of medicine you've decided to pursue. And while it's positively rewarding - I truly don't think any person knows the extent of the obligation until they are done with medical school and personally responsible for a patient's well-being.

It's like being a parent.

You don't know until you have one. You just don't know.

Being a parent means worrying for the rest of your life. Waking up with worry, going to sleep with worry, and constantly moving in this evolving and moving sea of worry. And you cannot know what that feels like until the worry hits you. Just like how you can't understand the depth of the responsibility that comes with being a physician. Until you are one. Perhaps that's why so many physicians become jaded over time. It's like being a parent to a thousand people. Perhaps that's also why residency ages you so much too!

And sometimes, just sometimes, you look at yourself in the mirror and think, "I've got to come first at some point, don't I?"

I don't know what other doctors say to themselves when they find themselves in that situation, but whenever I do, my conscience reminds me that my sick patients deserve to have my full attention...

And then I don't blog for another month....

post signature

The Wizarding World of Harry Potter (Part 1)

2011-10-02T17:07:00.003-04:00

That's where I went.

It was only 4 days long (Thursday to Sunday), and it took an act of God for this to happen for me...But it happened! *triumphant fist pump* It really happened!

But let me explain how. The thing is, I'm not quite sure if you've been paying attention or not, but I'm a resident. Which means that "days off", don't really exist. And vacation exists (in the count of 3 weeks a year) but I used 6 weeks of it for maternity leave in my first year, which means I had 3 weeks left for the next 2 years, so I literally take one day here, one day there in an attempt to ration my treasured days off. And let's not forget the dreaded "my kid is sick" thing that usually brings on much panic and ends up costing me a vacation day as well. So for this trip , I took two whole (!) vacation days. Which was a big deal.

And an act of God.

Then, (THEN), I had to figure out the whole child care situation. My husband is also a resident which means our daughter's livelihood is usually split between us 50/50. No, that's a lie. It's split 40/40 and the other 20% of the time, we are usually rescued by a grandmother or an aunt. I know you're wondering why my husband couldn't just take care of our toddler while I was away for 4 days, but it's not that simple. And he technically could (and did), except for two small things:

1- He was working that Sunday (and nobody would take his shift - thank you folks)
2- He had the biggest presentation of his residency to give the following Monday.

So he needed help. Because he was losing his hair (and weight) by the minute. He also wondered what was going to happen on that Thursday night when our daughter was supposed to attend her "mommy and me" dance class. (Turns out, he learned the easy way that Daddys are just as welcome!). And so my lovely (super lovely, I love you!) mother-in-law came to the rescue again, driving 3 hours after her workday to schlep to my town, run after my toddler all weekend, then drive back for 3 hours, just so she could help out her son while her daughter-in-law was living it up in Orlando , Florida. I'm just very lucky that way.

And I consider that an act of God too.

I really did live it up though. In a 30 year old way of course. Because living it up in your 30's does NOT mean what it used to mean in your 20's. I mean, three martini's later and you and your friends find yourselves feeling miserable the next day, wondering when your body decided it wasn't elastic anymore. I didn't even know I had a liver in my 20's. Now, I swear to Hagrid, but my liver actually talks to me. Yells at me, is more like it. So there are limits to my antics. Dictated by my age, it seems.

And finally, for this act of God to happen, I had to find direct flights to and from Austin, TX to Orlando, FL which - if you've ever flown out of Austin, you should know this is near impossible because that airport doesn't fly direct to anywhere but Houston or Dallas- actually happened. It did! It happened. I found the flights! And they were cheap! (Also adding to the whole act of God thing because my 500k worth of student loans don't exactly make me Donald Trump rich). And guess what? My flights were also landing/taking off within 20 minutes of my friends' flights , even though they were coming from Toronto. So again.

Act.

Of.

God.

You see?

So because of this act of God, I didn't even complain about the fact that I was sitting next to the 3 year old devil child on the plane, on my way to Orlando. Well, I think he was 3. I know he was a terror though. And during the 2.5 hours of pure tantrum throwing, screaming, yelling, hair pulling, kicking, biting, throwing and screeching, I was torn between wanting to kill myself (and wondering why the emergency exit was so far away from me) and asking the kid's dad whether he had seen a Pediatrician lately because I was pretty sure he was developmentally delayed.

But I refrained from doing either.

Yet another... act of God.

I just sighed heavily and rolled my eyes along with every other passenger on the plane while the parents did nothing at all to alleviate the situation. Oh no wait, they said, "Shh" a few times. I forgot about that.

And (and), even on the way back, when I sat down in a different seat, on a different plane, going in a different direction, and I heard an ear-piercing scream next to me which made me look over and , to my surprise, see the VERY SAME DEVIL CHILD sitting right next to me, yet again...I managed not to let it ruin my mojo. I wasn't able to contain my surprise though and couldn't help my reaction which went something like this:

"You've gotta be kidding me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Thankfully, the parents didn't know what I was talking about (they were too busy trying to tame the beast who, in turn, was too busy pulling daddy's eyebrows off his face).

See what I mean when I say 'act of god?'.

It truly was that.

And more....

(To be continued)

Ps. Hello to the new blog followers! Happy to have you! Please refer away! I have books and stuff to giveaway!

post signature

Speedy Random Thoughts

2011-09-25T20:57:00.005-04:00

A few quick thoughts today....

* First of all, it's almost October. What the heck? Where the heck? And how the heck? Not to mention....It's almost October...which means, another birthday is rolling around and I'll be another year old. Um. Yah. I'm trying to be all zen and Oprah about it (fabulous at 32! - Wait, how old am I? Arg! I'm starting to lose track!!!). As you can see, the zen thing is not working as of yet.

* On a lighter note, a stranger paid for my Starbucks the other day. That marks the third time that has happened to me since I've started residency. Must pay it forward.

* Similarly, I was eating lunch with a bunch of interview candidates (and my co-chief resident) last week, and a couple of older gentlemen paid for our entire meals. And we never even knew what hit us. It was only after they had gotten up to leave that we found out, so we never even got to thank them. Now tell me: isn't that just the nicest thing ever? Again, must pay it forward. Speaking of which, are you paying it forward these days?

* Sports are happening here in the U.S of A. I know this because my facebook page is full of random comments that mean nothing to me. But at the very least, I can discern that there is some "cheering" going on. So...go team!

* Speaking of which, football is on television as we speak and all I can think is that the guy who just caught the ball looks like a little like a bumblebee.

* Which reminds me! Halloween! I'm thinking of one of two options (opinions are appreciated): Nemo for my kid (Marlin for hubby, Dory for me) or The Minnie/Mickey Mouse trio. The latter seems to be more easily available because as far the internet is concerned, there is no such thing as a Dory costume. What's everyone else doing for Halloween this year?

* I recently went on a mini-trip and will most definitely be blogging about that soon. Let's just say....I now have a wand. That's right. A wand. Interested?

That's all for now folks!

post signature

Alive!

2011-09-19T22:09:00.001-04:00

I swear.

And have so much to tell. Just got back from mini-trip.

Stay tuned....Back to regular blogging shortly!!!

post signature

Riding gators

2011-08-24T15:54:00.003-04:00

Wow. Where did August go? Do you ever go through life and wake up one day and think, where did the summer go? Or where did the year go? I'm having one of those moments. Which may explain why I've been MIA on the blog lately. Lots of duties swimming around. Sorry about that. But I've been asked by one of my best friends to blog more because she's (and I quote) "tired of looking at your blog and reading the death heading".

So here I am.

Blogging. :)

As part of my rotation in adolescent medicine this month, I was required to go spend some time with a couple of athletic trainers at a local high school here in Texas. Talk about me being a fish out of water. Let me explain. In Canada, we're not...um....(how to say this politely)....sport fanatics. At least not really in high school. And truly, not really in University either. We later become hockey crazy but that's an entirely different conversation. So needless to say, for me to waltz into this environment was a big shocker .

BIG.

SHOCKER.

I really thought those types of environments (the ones with the football players, the cheerleaders, the 9000 stadium fans, the marching bands etc..) were only part of the movies. Kind of like in "Never been kissed". Or "10 things I hate about you". Or every other teeny bopper movie ever made. But not in real life.

But apparently, I was wrong.

Movies are all based on the real thing. In America anyway.

But let me go back to the beginning. So before I even got to the high school that day, I had to call the nice trainer to get directions. In our first conversation, he gave me directions and told me to meet him at the football field. He must have already heard something in my voice that made him remind me to call him when I got there and call if I got lost. I said okay. The second time I called him, our conversation went a little like this.

Me: I'm here.
Him: Okay doc. Where you at?
Me: Uh... by the football field, where you told me to meet you.
Him: I'm looking out there and don't see ya. Describe what you're looking at.

So I described what I was looking at and halfway through my description, I heard a snicker.

Me: What? What's so funny?
Him: Oh nothin' doc. I think you're at the middle school football field. Get back in your car and keep on driving. We're a little further down.
Me: Oh okay. I'll do that.

And I did just that. And then, as I came upon the ACTUAL football field, I realized why I had made a mistake the first time around. This wasn't a "field", this was what I consider to be a STADIUM. I think the words "holy mother of [censored]" came out of my mouth when my eyes landed upon that mammoth of a field. THIS was a high school football field?

I repeat. This was a HIGH SCHOOL football field?

For real?

So then I call the guy again.

Me: I'm here...for real this time.
Him: Okay. Stay put doc, I'll be by in a second on a gator. You can just follow me out.
Me: Sorry, what?
Him: (louder) I'll be by on a gator. Stay put doc!

And then there was silence. Because I feel the need to remind you (again) that I'm canadian. Perhaps I've lived here for 2 years, but that just means I'm like a transplanted organ; I eventually start to adapt to my environment but I will NEVER be authentic like an original. And once in a while, I feel rejected and totally out of place. This was one of those times. Because when you say, "I'm on a gator", this is what I'm thinking.

Me: Um...what's a gator?
Him: Are you kidding me doc?
Me: No...I'm sorry, I'm Canadian.
Him: Oh alright. Bwahahah!! Well, that explains it then. Just hang tight. You'll see soon enough.

And a few minutes later, he comes in riding this thing that's a cross between a tractor and a golf cart. And we ride it across the football field as I looked around, mouth gaping and totally amazed by the 10,000 fan stadium that surrounded me. I mean, look at how many people are INTERESTED in high school football. At least 10,000! I mean, wow. Just wow.

And this isn't even a big town.

After a small tour, we took a seat in the trainer's office where he gave me a run down of ...well, his job. Another snippet of our conversation went a little like this.

Him: We are a 5A school.
Me: 5A?
Him: Yes. *pause*. You don't know what that means , do you?
Me: No...I'm sorry. I'm -
Him: I know, I know. Canadian. That's the fourth time you've told me. I'll just go very slow, ok?
Me: Thanks. Ok.

And later still....

Him: And this is the weight room. The athletes come here during training season and it may surprise you to learn that even the girls lift weights.
Me: Yes, that does surprise me.
Him: What we do is we have all the athletes weigh themselves before practice, and then we have them come after practice and weight themselves again, to make sure they aren't getting too dehydra-....what? What's wrong?
Me: I'm sorry. I'm listening. I promise. It's just...is that a cricket?

In my defense, the sound was deafening.

Him: Yeah, so?
Me: In here? Now?
Him: Yeah....wait. How LONG ago did you move from Canada?
Me: Oh..um...well, I've been in Texas for 2 years.
Him: TWO YEARS?! Doc, you make it seem like you moved here 2 days ago!

To which I could only do one thing: laugh.

It's true. There are so many things that still feel so foreign to me. Take the driving for example. Or the food (SO MUCH MEAT!). Or the accents. Or the fact that EVERYONE owns a pair of cowboy boots. Or the fact that people say "we were visiting", or "bless your heart" multiple times a day. And that the expression "riding a gator" doesn't actually mean what it implies.

And I'm so very very unfamiliar with the whole giant all-american high school concept. Like I said before, in Canada (or at least, in my Canadian bubble), high school was pretty low key. I mean, let me ask you Americans some questions.

1- How do kids survive high school? It seems so intimidating! And traumatizing!
2- With this huge emphasis on sports (in high school), where does that leave education? Where is the big emphasis on scholastics?
3- Who the heck are those 10,000 people? Not all parents, right? And if you're watching high school football, I assumed you're also watching college football and also likely the NFL which leaves me wondering: when do you have time for other stuff?
4- How many sports are considered "too many" here in America?

Don't get me wrong. I am very pro-sport. I have a few sport crushes myself. I guess I just don't now what to think when such a huge deal is made of a 12 year old playing football. I just wonder what the consequences are....

Thoughts?

post signature

On Death

2011-08-08T21:51:00.002-04:00

As a Pediatric resident, you may get lucky and not have to deal with too much sadness. Pediatric deaths are few and far in between. Even childhood cancer has decent survival odds (anywhere between 85% and above). But, the truth is, death happens. Unfortunately, you just can't escape it and at some point during your medical training, you'll have to deal with it. At some point, you'll mourn the loss of someone's child, you'll do everything you can to save somebody, and at some point you'll fail - and you'll witness some parent living through the nightmare of outliving their own child. And you'll sit there, and you'll wonder why....why, why, why, why, why, did that child die?

Why?

I had a bad month in July. Ugh. And I hate saying it that way because I don't want to make it about me. It's not about me. It's about the dead children and it's about their families. There is just such a high incidence of death when you work in the Pediatric ICU. Everything seems exponentially greater, freak accidents seem more common than they actually are...just because you happen to be the doctor seeing them all. In the real word, freak accidents are something you hear about in the news. In the ICU, they are the patients you put your hands on, and the news catches on about them a day after you've already thrown in the towel.

At one point, nearing the end of my rotation, I finally spoke up to one of my favorite attendings. I confided in him that this was the most "death" I'd had to deal with in such a short period of time. I also confided that I had hoped I could leave my residency without having any kids die on my shift - but that I had obviously failed. He took one long breath and decided he would rebut my statement with a joke.

"Have you read the House of God?" he asked me.

The House of God is a pretty famous novel, a satire, written by Samuel Shem. It's almost a must-read if you are going through medical school or residency, since that is exactly what it's about: internship. Some people think the novel is about Harvard Medical School and that The House of God is actually about Beth Israel Hospital. Apparently, in this novel, there are several rules in the House of God. I write "apparently" because I actually haven't read it. I just never feel the need to confirm what I already know: medical school is rough. Residency is even more rough. Medicine jades even the best of us.

"No," I answered him. "But I know of it".

"Do you know what rule number four is in the House of God?"

"No, what?"

"The patient is the one with the disease."

I paused for a moment, trying to process what he'd just told me.

"Are you trying to tell me that I'm making this about me and I shouldn't because it's actually about them?"

He nodded and we both laughed. He was right. It's not about me. But then, he became serious and told me why he chose his current profession (an ICU physician which means, that by choice, he takes care of the sickest patients and by proxy, sees the most sadness and the most death). He also told me his philosophy which goes something like this (I'm paraphrasing of course): death is a part of life, and when it's somebody's time to die, they die. There isn't a thing you can do to stop it. As a physician though, he chooses to make that experience as human as possible for the loved ones. He chooses to take that moment to be the best doctor he knows how to be. That's how he makes his difference

The thing is, while I admire him for handling it that way, I can't. I always want to do more. I always want to beat the odds. I always want to keep trying. I don't handle "defeat" as well and it's probably because I'm not experienced enough as a doctor, but it's still too traumatizing for me. I cannot stand to witness parents losing their child. The pain is unbearable for them (and unimagineable for me) and in return, I cannot stand to be a part of it. When they ask me "Why?" , I have no answer. I don't know why. I can't think of the perfect thing to say, the perfect thing to do, because I want to know "why" too. I don't understand death. I don't comprehend what makes one child live and another one die. What makes some people skate by in car accidents and what makes others die? What makes some people get cancer and others not? I don't know.

I'll never know.

And so I can't see the silver lining...I can't see it my attendings way. I'm not at peace with it, the way he is, I suppose. I don't know if I'll ever be. I do know, that as much I enjoy the ICU, the sadness alone, the odds alone deter me from doing this in the long run. I know the joys are plentiful, I know the success stories are abundant and I know the "excitement" (from a medical standpoint) is constant...I just can't ever see myself delivering the line, "Hi. You don't know me but I'm Dr. Armin. I was just in the room with your son for the last 3 hours. I'm so sorry to be the one to tell you this, but he/she didn't make it. We did everything we could."

See?

Just writing those words makes me want to crawl into a small hole and stay there. It's unbearable.

Which side do you lie on? Is death a part of life? Or something that will never understandable?

post signature

I'm back

2011-08-04T16:46:00.002-04:00

I think.

I had a very long (yet short) month in the Pediatric ICU and I'm a slight bit traumatized, but also a better person for it.

It was my last month there. And I don't know how I feel about that. Amazing how residency messes with your head, isn't it?

So I have much to catch up on , and I intend to do so this month. And the next.

So stay tuned....more (proper) blogging soon!

In the meantime, how the heck have you been?

post signature

Book Giveaway Contest 2011

2011-07-16T08:55:00.005-04:00

OK!

I'm finally doing it. It's time for the big book giveaway. Do you want a chance to win the following four books?

1-So much closer - Susane Colasanti

2-The Hunger Games - Suzanne Collins

3-Mostly Good Girls - Leila Sales

4- A signed copy of Milestones - Samira Armin Hodges (because, well, that's me *awkward smile*).

I have read all of the aforementioned books and in a desperate attempt to de-clutter my house and life, I am happy to give those books away to a very avid and eager reader. They are ALL by the way, excellent reads. *toot, toot*. Sorry, that was me tooting my own horn. But without further delay, here are the rules! The winner will:

a) Be a follower of my blog (it's never too late, follow the side link and sign up!),

b) Refer as many people as they can to my blog -(Apparently, I need the publicity so tell all your friends),

c) Email me a short blurb about his/her favorite underdog story.

I have no other requirements. I will pick my winner in one week's time and will then gladly mail him/her the four books. So let the games begin!

In the meantime, I would like to extend my sincere apologies to the person who slipped and fell on my half-eaten plum at work earlier today. You must know that I wasn't trying to sabotage you, though it may have seemed that way. I know you don't believe me, but I am actually THAT clumsy at times. Once upon a time, I was a very, very, very, very, very bad waitress. Like very.

The thing is, I was eating my plum as I was speed-walking towards the elevator(that's my line lately, I'm always "multi-tasking"). I think what happened next went in the following order. First, I tripped over my own foot. I do that. A lot actually. I just...trip. Most times, I can trick people into thinking I tripped over an object. I pull a sly "Whoa, watch out for that sticky spot on the ground there" or something of the sort. It works about 50% of the time. The other 50% of the time, people make fun of me and I have no choice but to go along with it. Next, I stumbled into the elevator as I tried to catch my step. So see, it was trip, then stumble (bend and snap!). I really think you may have missed that part. Because it was only after the stumble, that the half-eaten plum then slipped out of my hand and bounced squishily onto the elevator floor. I just made that word up but that's the sound it made so it works. And it was at that precise moment that you happend to walk into the elevator behind me, seemingly aware of the fact that I was having balance issues, but apparently UN-aware of the fact that I had just dropped a half-eaten plum on the floor.

And so you stepped on it.

And almost did the splits.

And it was awkward.

And a little dangerous.

And for that, I am sorry.

Really.

I especially didn't mean for your to pull your groin. Nor did I mean to chuckle under my breath when you made that noise with your throat. It's just that...well, it sounded a little like a squealing pig. But I have to admit, I am really bad at laughing during awkward times. I was that kid who laughed in class with my best friend when the teacher would get angry, and then would continue to laugh and laugh and laugh (and cry) until I would finally get in trouble over it. I can't help it. It's a rather horrible flaw of mine. It has nothing to do with you. I'm getting better though, I promise.

And I know you were half-expecting me to scoop up the plum with my hands after you recovered your balance but I thought my nifty "soccer move" of kicking it down the elevator shaft was much smoother...didn't you?

Hm.

No.

I guess not. You were probably onto something when you pointed out all the plum-residue on the floor. And even though I apologized countless times, I could tell you were still upset with me but I do want to set the record straight; I really do regret my actions and I intend to boycott plums from here on out. And I'll try to fix my whole clumsy problem. And the whole laughing problem too. That's a promise.

I do have one question for you though. Why didn't you tell me I had a piece of plum stuck on my chin when you glared at me and snarled goodbye?

post signature

Night and day

2011-07-13T18:08:00.002-04:00

And no, I'm not talking about the Tom Cruise movie.

Holy mother of wow. I can't believe it's mid July already. Time flies when you're in the PICU (Pediatric ICU). The thing is, there are many shifts in the PICU. Lots of nights and lots of days and many flip-flops between nights and days. *yawn*. Currently, I'm on a stretch of nights. Six to be exact. It's very difficult (physically) to be a resident sometimes. Heck, it's difficult to be a physician in general these days. Physicians just work odd hours, lots of hours , and have a moral and legal responsibility to physical be present....all the time. Because people don't only get sick between the hours of 9am-5pm , Mondays through Fridays. Know what I mean?

I had a very bad week last week. A very bad day in particular. Two cases rolled into the PICU simultaneously. Both had very poor prognoses...One ended up having a good outcome and the other had a poor outcome. The poor outcome trumps the good outcome. It's all I can remember, actually. I'm so grateful for the good outcome, but the poor outcome is the one that will make a permanent mark on my soul. Especially because I had to deliver bad news to that family and I was surprised at how difficult I found that task.

Delivering bad news is never easy. In my case though, I felt like I couldn't say anything right. I suppose you can't , can you? When you're the one delivering the bad news? Nothing you can say can make things better and make things right for that family. It's very difficult because all you WANT to do is make things right and better for the family. But you can't.

You just can't.

So you're stuck. In a very helpless position. Watching people's lives change, watching someone's world crumble and your only option is to keep watching. It's like being that proverbial fly on the wall. But all you want to do is fly away and undo the sadness.

Then, when the moment is over, you really become grounded. You start asking yourself all those deep questions. Why did God choose that family? Why did something bad happen to that child? What makes one child live and the other die? Why do bad things happen to good people? Why do good things happen to bad people? Why? Why? Why?

Of course, there are no answers. Only more questions.

On another (somewhat happier) note, I'm going to host a book giveaway on the blog soon. Wait, have I already mentioned that? I swear, my thoughts are getting all jumbled up lately. It's amazing what working nights will do to your concept of time.

Well, I think that's all for tonight folks. More posts to follow....this month will be a bit slow on the blog because of my work schedule but all should resume back in August (hopefully).

Toodaloo.

post signature

July 1st

2011-07-01T16:04:00.002-04:00

Most of you woke up today without any special thoughts. Some of you may be thinking about Canada Day while others may be thinking about the upcoming July 4th festivities. In the land of doctors though, July 1st is a big day. It is the day a whole bunch of new interns begin their residency and other residents "move up" a year.

So today, I'm a 3rd year resident. I'm once again, the big man on campus. *proud smile*

Remember when you moved up the high school ladder? Then you graduated and started at the bottom again? Then you moved up the university ladder? Then graduated and started at the bottom again? And then you moved up the medical school ladder? Then you graduated and started at the bottom of the residency ladder?

Yeah.

It's been a long road indeed.

Well, for me, this is it. The top of the highest ladder. After this, I am done. Some folks choose to specialize (not to say I'm not considering that option, but it's unlikely at this point given that my child really loves her mother and likes to have her around) and for those people, there is yet another ladder to climb. But for the rest of the docs, this is it. Once you're done with residency , you're done with school and training and you practice under your own license and you ....well, for lack of a better term: live.

But July 1st is also a dangerous day. Like I said above, a bunch of new interns begin their training. In they walk, with their deer-caught-in-headlights look , completely unaware of what they are supposed to do and yet completely aware of how little they know. They say everyone remembers their first patient of their intern year. I still remember mine so that has gotta mean something. He was a young man with a not-so-uncommon brain tumor. What did I know about brain tumors? I knew *of* them (that's what they teach you in medical school) but I had no clue what to do with them. Needless to say, I was scared to death. Regardless, I knocked on his hospital room door, walked in, introduced myself as the doctor, examined him (hands shaking and all), then asked if I could answer any of his questions - all the while praying he didn't have any questions because I probably couldn't answer them anyway. Turns out, he was just thirsty and wanted some water.

And guess what?

I had no idea where to go to fetch him some. Such a simple request and I was already lost. But that's where the lovely experienced nurse swooped in and helped save the day. Until my next encounter of course.

Sadly, the young man with the brain tumor didn't end up making it. He died several months later having kept up the good fight for quite some time. I still think about him every now and then. As I do with all my oncology patients, I suppose.

Digression aside, in case you're wondering what all the fuss is about, many hospitals start their new academic year on July 1st, which means, a whole slew of unsuspecting, scared interns (aka brand new doctors) who are just praying they survive their first day.

The Huffington Post calls July the Deadliest Month for Hospitals (click HERE). That doesn't surprise me , I suppose. But don't freak out either. It's not like those interns are running around unsupervised, left to the fate of their own full pens and empty minds. They have more senior staff supervising them and double checking all of their work. They also have many other support staff (such as pharmacists and nurses) triple and quadruple checking their work. The most dangerous thing I did when I was an intern is to write for Tylenol to be given via IV. For the lay people, that doesn't exist. Tylenol is only given by mouth or by rectum. For the medical people, I was RUSHED and it was just a reflex (I didn't actually think it could be given IV but who am I kidding, you're already laughing aren't you?). Point being, after my nurse caught it and laughed at me, the pharmacist called me to laugh at me, then the upper level resident was notified who also laughed at me, and before I knew it, ALL OF MY ATTENDINGS knew it....and probably laughed at me too. But they were nicer and did it behind my back.

Point being , it's not like being hospitalized on July 1st equals a death sentence.

So for those of you who land in a hospital during this month (I'm sorry if that's the case!) just remember that the scared little doctor with the sparkling white coat is scared for the reasons I outlined above. It's all just part of the natural ladder of life.

post signature

There's more to life.. and more random thoughts.

2011-06-27T13:25:00.005-04:00

There's something about growing up, growing old (not that I'm calling myself old) , accumulating experience that makes you....well, wiser. Obvious statement, right? I know. But seriously. Looking back at my 17 year old self, I'm so much wiser now. Looking back at my 20 year old self, definitely wiser. Even looking back at my mid-20's self, I'm SOOO much wiser. There's just so much credit to be given to time.

Case in point, I'm also a little judgmental of those younger than me. I guess it's a sign that I'm an official grown up now. But I can't help it. It happens all the time. I'll look at teenagers and think, 'Oh honey!'. You poor poor things. I remember being that age, being in those shoes. I remember thinking the WORLD revolved around me, and my then-life. Maybe that's why I dabble in YA novels. But then, this self-involved attitude, it's not unique to teenagers, is it? Truth be told, we are all (all) always, guilty of thinking out current environment is the be all an end all, of life. But it's not, is it?

So if you're in high school, I am here to tell you that there is so much more to life than high school. God, if you high-schoolers only knew. It deserves repeating actually. THERE IS SO MUCH MORE TO LIFE THAN HIGH SCHOOL. Once you're out of that environment, you'll be through with all those "big fishes in the little pond". You will get to college, aka the "bigger pond", meet a whole bunch of new people who will show you a tiny glimpse of the real world. Not the whole thing, but a glimpse of it. Because while college is a HUGE step up and out of the toxic petri-dish we call high school, it's still...just college.

So if you're in college/university, please know that there is still so much more to life than where you are right now. The real world is not anything like your current environment. Heck, college/university is just a phase to me. So get it out of your system because you are never going back. Once you're out of college, your life truly begins. You begin to see what real life is actually like. And so on...and so forth.

And so I know there's more to life than residency. Every once in a while, I have to remind myself, because I get caught up in the moment (don't you? Doing what you're doing? Get caught up, I mean?). But if we just step back for a moment, think about where we are , what we are doing and give the rest of the world some serious thought, it can give a little perspective can't it?

That's my deep thought of the day.

Now onto other things. For starters, my friend M thought it funny to send me the following link to an article. CLICK HERE. Yup. And her caption read: "Your worst nightmare".

That's right. Let's just forget the fact I would NEVER put myself in that position - and I mean NEVER - this is truly my worst nightmare. And throw in the lurking scary dorsal fin on the horizon and I would probably die on the spot. Lord, I HOPE I would give myself a heart attack so I wouldn't have to witness myself being eaten by a shark. So thank you M for little reminder that there's more to life and I'm really happy that person in question is safe and sound now.

*shudder*

In other news, I'm gonna be hosting a book giveaway soon. So STAY TUNED my friends. I will be giving away a bunch of books I have accumulated these last several months and I'm trying to think up a clever contest to make things fun. My creativity juices seem to be running dry today though. Any thoughts?

AND FINALLY - I just have to mention one last thing. I've gotten used to a lot of things down here in Texas -even the stinkin' weather that overheats my iphone - but I am NOT used to (nor will I ever be, I guess) the wasps.

Can I just say?

Those things are mean.

Seriously. In Canada, our wasps just mind their own business, but in Texas? Well your wasps (all of them) are just asses. Yah. I never thought I'd meet an ass of a wasp but I've met thousands of them over the last couple of years and I gotta tell you, they are horrible. They sting you without being provoked. Just because they can. They are like a gang. A bunch of ass wasps. They taunt you, buzz around you, dart at your head and finally, just when you think they'll fly away, they sting the crap outta someone and fly off with an attitude.

Rude.

I miss Canadian wasps...

post signature

Thursday thoughts

2011-06-23T16:57:00.004-04:00

Dear Delta Airlines,

No.

Dear EVERY STUPID NORTH AMERICAN AIRLINE,

You know what? You suck. You suck so much. Seriously. I just don't understand how you do what you do! I have had enough of your ridiculous antics. Just today, I was supposed to have a visitor from Canada (your neighbouring country!) and you decided to make them wait in line for 4 hour , only to inform them later that their flight has been canceled . For no good reason. Just because! And you did NOTHING to find alternative arrangements for them and basically told them they could "maybe" show up tomorrow and be on stand-by for a similar flight.

Really?

Really??!!!!

I can't even begin to tell you how much I wish I could boycott all airlines. Does anybody have a positive experience with flying anymore? What the heck is going on? Economy, shmeconomy! You have no customers because of yourSELVES. Can you imagine if doctors ran their practice the way you run your business? "Sorry you waited for 3 hours in the waiting room but we've decided to cancel all appointments today. Just cause we feel like it. You can go pay 1000$ bucks for an ER visit if you're really desperate. Peace out".

I mean, why is this acceptable?! Why is blatant disregard for people's lives and schedules and plans appropriate? I'm outraged. Can you tell? I'm livid. I just can't believe this crap continues to go on and on and on and on and on..... People complain, people rebel, your business continues to decline and yet, you only continue to make things worse! Wassamattawichoo?! Paying for luggage, paying for carry-ons, paying for pillows, and drinks and snacks. Throwing customer service completely out the window and canceling flights at the last minute because you don't have enough people on the flight so "it's just not worth it for you".

Seriously.

Your downfall is your own damn fault. I have no pity for you.

Indignant,

Samira.

Yah. So as you can see, I'm mad at the airlines right now. All of them. But I have other topics to cover so I'll let it go for the time being and move on.

*blink, blink*

Great. I'm totally blanking on everything right now.

*pause*

OH! I remember now. Okay. Couple of things. One of my good friends brought the following link to my attention. Click here. Omigosh, I'm so excited about this. No really, click on the link. Especially you M and Andrea. You'll poop a brick. It's about JK Rowling and her new venture called Pottermore. SOOO flipping exciting.

I am in so much awe of this person. JK Rowling, I mean. Heck. You know what? She's a role model to me. Not the type I was describing in my previous posts (since I've never met her, nor do I know her personally), but she's just so fantastic isn't she? So absolutely well-spoken, well-written and talented. She just gives off the vibe that she's an insanely good person. I heart her. Thank you N for sharing this link!!!! I'm BESIDE myself.

And since we're on the topic of Harry Potter..how excited are you guys for the new (and last - sob!) movie? I can barely contain my excitement. Here is the latest trailer for those interested birds. Let's watch it together and squeal.

Okay. That just made my day. On that note, I'll blog about the rest later...

Toodles!

post signature

What kind of person do you want to be?

2011-06-21T18:32:00.007-04:00

I did a much delayed spring cleaning today. So delayed, in fact, that it's actually summer now. When did that happen by the way?

So I'm what you call the opposite of a hoarder. I'm a fanatic about being cluterless. And whenever I do my "spring cleaning" (which happens to be 3 or 4 times a year), I get rid of a lot of unnecessary possessions. And I ALWAYS have a crapload of unecessary possessions. I usually donate them to Goodwill or the Salvation Army and in that very small act, I feel liberated and fulfilled simultaneously. Today's donation consisted of items of clothing (the ones I haven't worn in over a year), some of my daughter's clothing (the ones she's outgrown that I don't intend to keep), some books my husband accumulated (which are beyond outdated) and a few random items like vases I never use and whatnot. Some people would choose to sell these items in a garage sale and to those people, I say "Bravo".

Bravo. Bravo? Where'd that come from? I digress but I promise I didn't mean for that to sound as facetious as it did.

In all seriousness, garage sales are awesome and I truly commend those who have the patience, the time and the determination to host them. I'm not that person. I am the "let me just donate the couple of hundred dollars I would have made to charity" type of person. Not necessarily a good thing if you consider it's purely coming out of laziness and lack of motivation. But this topic is a good one because it brings up an issue I have recently been discussing with friends.

So let me ask you this: What kind of person do you want to be?

It's not an easy question to answer, is it? And I'm not asking you what you want to do with your life, what you want to accomplish or where you are heading. I'm specifically asking about character. What KIND of person do you want to be?

Do you want to be sweet? Or strong? Or both perhaps? A person who keeps all things sacred (I won't use the word hoarder because it seems to have a negative connotation)? Or do you wish to live cluterless like me? Do you want to be generous? Or do you want to be like the grasshopper who saved all winter? Do you want to be thoughtful? Kind?

How do you want people to know you? What adjectives do you want them to use when they describe you? And on that note - do you want people to recognize your traits? Or are you content being yourself without recognition? I think that's one of my greatest faults. I like to be recognized for the things I do. In all aspects of my life. And it's a personality trait I continuously try to adjust. Because if a tree falls in the woods and nobody is around to hear it (or whatever the heck that saying is), it still does make a sound. True humility doesn't need an audience. So I'm working on it.

I think my favorite recent quote is actually from the new Muppets Movie Trailer (will you be seeing that or no? How many Muppets fans are there in this virtual audience? Raise your hands in the comments section). The quote comes from Kermit: "Maybe you don't need the whole world to love you, you know? Maybe you just need one person."

I love it.

I loved hearing that. I needed to hear that. I need to be reminded of that statement. Because it's true. Isn't it? We don't need the entire world to love us (are you listening, self?), only the important people....right? I think when you make that realization, it's a little easier to let bygones be bygones. I know a few of you have been hanging on to things that have occurred in the past and those things may still play tricks on you and mess with your head. But look at those sacred individuals who love you and deserve your love. That's all you need , right?

The deserving ones stick around, don't they?

The deserving ones help you become the person you want to be, correct?

And you should still be working on becoming that person....So....I have to ask.

Are you?

More on this next time....

post signature

Deed of the week

2011-06-19T10:40:00.003-04:00

I have heard of some of you getting involved in the deed of the week and for the record, I'm very proud of you! My hope is that your good deeds will attract more good karma into your life. I truly do believe in karma. Don't you?

So for those who are in this with me, here is your good deed of the week: kill 'em with kindness.

To elaborate, do you notice how many negative interactions there are between strangers? A rude waitress, a nasty interaction on the road, a shove on the subway, an aggressive bud in a long line-up? The list goes on an on. Most times, when these things happen, I bite back. I don't particularly enjoy between treated poorly by people (who does, right?). But I've noticed that "biting back" is the easy way out. It's just fueling the negativity. So I've resolved to just kill 'em with kindness.
Point being, I'll "ignore the negativity" and fight back with kindness, a smile , a warm shoulder and wish them a wonderful day. Because the point of this deed-of-the-week endeavour is to do things the hard way. Being good, being kind, being giving, being selfless, being generous, being humble, noble, and altruistic ALL require effort. It doesn't come easy (which is why they are such rare qualities).

I have an example for you. I went to a grocery store yesterday to have some balloons filled with helium for my husband's surprise birthday party. The lady behind the balloon counter was....well, she wasn't kind, let's just put it that way. After she barked at me to get my order, she took about 20 minutes to fill up 15 balloons. The thing was, we were on a strict timeline to get back to the house for the whole "surprise thing" to work. Finally, at about 30 minutes, I spoke up.

Me: You know, on second hand, I think we will be okay with a dozen balloons. That looks like plenty already.
Her: *sigh* mutter, mutter.
Me; Sorry?
Her: You're in a hurry aren't you? *rolls eyes* They ALWAYS ARE.

Now see. That wasn't necessary, was it? It wasn't. And this was a scenario where I would usually say something back. Something along the lines of "I could just go somewhere else" or whatnot.

But I didn't.

I resolved not to.

Instead, I apologized to her, told her about my husband's party, thanked her for all her hard work, waited for her to finish the balloons (the way she wanted them), wished her a nice day and gave her a genuine smile. Because I don't know about her life. Maybe customers ARE annoying and rushed most times. Who knows, right?

And in the end, although she resisted it, she eventually smiled back and said "Thank you for your business".

Success!

So this week, put some effort into it and turn a negative encounter into a positive one. Deal? Pass it on. And let me know how it goes.

In other news, I don't know how I managed it, but I went to the movie theater this week! *happy dance* I saw the movie Bridesmaids. Now for those of you who don't like crudeness, this movie is NOT for you. But I loved it SO much. I am such a big Kristen Wiig fan, an even bigger Maya Rudolph fan and omigosh, those supporting roles could not have been better selections. (Side note, google "bridesmaids" and look under the image tab. So many lovely pictures of random people!).

The main thing about this movie is that it was written by a woman. Or at least, that's what my best friend tells me. They absolutely NAILED female relationships, jealousy, cattiness, and the new-friend/old-friend dynamics.

Oop! Gotta run! More later....

post signature

Adam Sandler Movies

2011-06-17T10:19:00.008-04:00

This post will be about a slightly more uplifting (and less stimulating) topic...ALTHOUGH, I am still a little surprised at the reaction my last two posts have elicited. I think I may have hit a nerve there with some of you because I don't think there is a single person who hasn't mentioned something to me about their thoughts on Role Models these days. And as always, I welcome your thoughts and opinions and will try to blog more about these types of topics since it seems to resonate with so many of you. If I can conclude with one final thought though, I want you to know that Role Models (defined as: every day, touchable people in leadership positions who take their roles seriously and who don't muck it up) DO exist. They are out there. Heck, I know a couple of them and I treasure them very much. My only point is that they are harder to come by these days. For whatever reason (some of you have given me good theories on that), they are harder to come by. The end.

So I wanna talk about Adam Sandler movies today. Why? Because I just recently saw his latest flick with Jennifer Aniston entitled "Just Go With It" and I liked it! As far as Adam Sandler movies go (for the most part, feel good, cute, quirky movies where he always lands a girl way hotter than him), I really enjoyed it. What I like about Adam Sandler movies is the message and the predictability. I know, I know, you're gonna call me out on it because I usually HATE predictability and lack of originality. But I like Sandler's formula. A+B usually always equals C and I LOVE the equation so no matter which way he presents it, I dig it. Make sense?

And so I decided to review his movies (most of them anyway) and take a small trip down Sandler memory lane. Some people hate Sandler and would never watch his movies (my mother being one of them). To those people I say, "I get it". He doesn't appeal to the masses and he definitely has a very unique "style" that some people just don't enjoy. But there isn't much about him that I don't like. Heck, I even like his appearance on Sesame Street (seen it?). I'll tag it below in case you haven't. It's very cute.

So here we go!

Okay. As I mentioned above, I really like this movie. Was it predictable? Yes. Cute? yes! Chuckles? Yes! Did I like Aniston? Yes. Was it cheesy? Yes. But it was so Sandler. And if you like him and his formula, then you'll like this one too. I thought he had good chemistry with Aniston. Though there aren't too many leading ladies he doesn't have good chemistry with, are there? I guess that's because of the ones he chooses?

Ah, the Wedding Singer. Such. A . Classic. Is there a more quotable movie? I think this is where my crush on Sandler began. I heart this movie so much. Him and Barrymore are so cute together. Julia Guglia.....Hah! And his song? "Somebody kill me now!!!!". DO you love it or do you love it?

Ok no. Actually, no.

This one, I didn't dig. I get the message. I really do. It's a very well-meaning message and I always love Sandler's messages. In this one, he basically talks about how wars are not being individual people because people, for the most part can happily co-exist. But I just didn't like the delivery here. I gave it a couple of chances too. It was just....a little too over the top. Or something. I don't know. Or maybe it was too crude. It was an exception to my Sander rule.

The waterboy. What can I say?! I like this one. Very quotable. And my husband made me like it even more. This is typical old school Sandler. You either love it or you hate it. I watch this anytime it's showing on TV. So I fall into the former category. You?

Spanglish is actually NOT your typical Sandler movie. It's not funny, it doesn't follow the A+B = C formula and Sandler doesn't play his usual quirky Sandler role. But it was so sweet, and endearing and ....believable? Yes. Believable. I really enjoyed this movie. A lot actually. I wasn't expecting to like it but I did. Another hit for me.

I haven't even seen this one. Why haven't I seen this one? Have you?

Well Happy Gilmore is Happy Gilmore. Again, another Sandler classic. You either love it or you hate it. You either gag when you see it on television or you sit down, watch it and laugh at all the parts you've laughed at before. That's me.

This is of the newer Sandler variety and I dug this one too. Again, I LOVED the message. I love how Sandler does that. He takes a very important message and turns it into a likeable, light-hearted comedic diversion. The message here being that technology is robbing today's children of a healthy childhood. Who doesn't relate to that to some extent? One thing I didn't like in this movie was Salma Hayek. Was she always such a horrible actress? She wasn't right? This is just a new development? You've seen Fools Rush In, right? So cute! But I digress...thankfully, she didn't ruin the movie for me, because I still laughed, I still enjoyed and it still has huge repeat value for me. Love the supporting cast as well.

Another classic. I like it! I quote it! I watch it every time it's on! Enough said.

A+B = C yet again. The message? Don't take your life for granted. It was the modern "It's a wonderful life". And did I totally buy into what he was selling?

*guilty smile*

Yup! I totally did. What can I say? I'm a Sandler-phile.

This was another hit for me. I may be alone on this one though because I don't know of too many people who like this one.

Um...this one is medium for me. It's not one of my favorite Sandler movies (even though I thought I'd love it). I'm not sure what it was. Jessica Biel maybe? Or maybe it was a little overkill....Again, I loved the message, but something was missing in this one. I'm not sure what. I only smiled a couple of times. No downright quotability or chuckling. Overall, meh.

Was this the Sandler classic that started it all? I think it may have been. Again, you either love or hate. I love.

So what's it like, being back in school?
I don't know. I kinda feel like an idiot sometimes. Although I am an idiot, so it kinda works out.

Awwww, Big Daddy. I LOVE Big Daddy. So cute! And funny! Sandler funny but funny nonetheless. And it's SOOOOO cheesy. But for some reason, I don't mind Sandler's cheese. I'll take it any day of the week and twice on Sundays.

Yah.

Bedtime Stories.

I think Sandler hit the jackpot on this one. Have you SEEN how kids watch this movie? They are....mesmerized. They can watch it over and over and over again. Sandler created an entire new generation of little Sandler lovers with this movie. They will all grow up loving his franchise, just like McDonald's and Coca Cola. Seriously. It was brilliant. He did such a great job with this movie and FYI, I love Keri Russell. And I loved the story so much. I was sad I didn't come up with it, actually. So classic yet original. Don't you think Sandler has a good imagination? I think he should do kids movies more often.

Another big love for me. I don't think I'd ever reject a Barrymore and Sandler combo. This one caught me off guard though. The ending surprised me because I really thought he'd find a way to make her retain her memories. He took a little risk in this movie. This time A+B made D. It was a bittersweet ending and although I was surprised to see it, I still enjoyed it. And continue to enjoy it. Isn't this movie funny? Isn't Barrymore endearing in this role? Doesn't it make you want to go to Hawaii?

Again, with the formula. And he even managed to incorporate Nicholson into it this time. I liked it. A lot. I watch it frequently. Like I said, if you like Sandler , then you are probably okay with watching his movies over and over again (in different formats).

And that's all!! I know there was one called Punch Drunk Love (never saw it) and there's another recent one (Funny People?) that I missed as well.

So where do you stand on this topic? Agree? Disagree? Favorites? Tell me about it!

Below, Sandler and Elmo. They should make a movie together too....

post signature

Role Models - Part 2

2011-06-15T21:09:00.002-04:00

Hm.

What an interesting discussion. For starters, I appreciate all the comments and I also appreciate the emails I received after the last post. It really sparked a lot of conversation. Next, I finally finished the book I've been reading entitled, "Hold on to your kids - Why parents need to matter more than peers" by Gabor and Mate. It was a very good read. Very good. I actually do recommend it to those who are interested; the message is a strong one and I believe it to be true. Our society has shifted in the last couple of decades and if you want to gain some insight into possibly why this is happening, this a good book to chew into. However, there are a couple of caveats: the book can be summed up in 10 pages, and once you understand the concept they are preaching, the rest of the book feels very redundant. But if you can get past that, it's definitely a book that will affect your psyche.

Now onto the previous post. For those of you who were curious whether there was more to my rant than what I divulged, the answer is no. Not really. The book I was reading brought a lot of things to my attention and my general new role as a parent made me wonder where all the role models have gone. That's all. I do have some final thoughts:

* I agree that the problem I outlined is only specific to our society. Rebellious teenagers, detached children and the multi-million dollar parenting industry is pretty unique to North America. Still. It's present.

* When I speak of role models, I again want to emphasize that I'm speaking of people you actually know. Not people you've heard of or people who have accomplished certain things. There's a difference.

* To the last commenter - I was waiting for your point to be brought up. I completely agree that maturity alone shatters ones image of the "perfect role model" but I actually happen to be one of those people who DOES see the best in others (despite my better judgement. Just ask my best friend M who always reminds me to trust in my initial gut feeling when it comes to other people). In fact, my ability to see the best in people makes me give them second and third and fourth chances....eventually though, my rose-colored glasses fade. At that point, there is no going back for me - but I digress, once more.

Point being, I agree with you. Role models exist especially if you are willing to understand that nobody is perfect. The thing is, I don't expect people to be perfect. I just expect them to be good people. Which brings me to my next question: what do YOU expect from people? In my opinion, the BEST quality a person can possess is the ability to put themselves in other people's shoes. It's actually a very rare quality. MANY people treat others in a way that I know they actually wouldn't appreciate if the roles were reversed. But they don't have the ability to grasp that concept. They don't have the ability to understand the "do onto others as you would have them do to you" idea.

And that's what I mean by role models disappearing. In the past, this wasn't as big of a problem. But these days, I see it a lot more. Gone are the days of the "lead by example" model. To me, whenever you are in a position of authority, in a position where you are an example to others, you need to remember that you are a role model - and because of this fact (and not the fact that you are divorced from your wife, or you had personal downfalls, or you had a criminal record years ago, or whatever it is that makes you less than perfect...), then you need to be a little more AWARE of your actions....and their consequences.

Does that make sense?

WHEW! This topic is THICK!

Regardless. It is a good discussion to have. And I appreciate all your thoughts. But let's move on , shall we?

In other news though, here are some random thoughts:

1- Progress continues to be made with Milestones 2. Woohoo!

2- I am reading another book (this time a YA novel by Susane Colasanti) and I'm considering having a small contest when I'm through with it tp give the book away to a lucky reader. Thoughts?

3- I recently remembered that I love to write (love) and I need to do more of it.

4- Does anyone else think their young child smells "new"? Or are my husband and I weird like that?

5- I miss the city. I really really miss the city. I'm not even sure what city it is that I miss. It's a toss-up between Toronto, Paris and New York. What I specifically miss though is walking along the streets of a city, looking at scenery and architecture, walking by shops I've never seen and just...being stimulated. I miss being stimulated. I'm not stimulated by Best Buy, Target and Strip Malls. It's just not the same. You know?

Okay. That's all for today folks! Thanks for tuning in!

post signature

Where did all the role models go?

2011-06-13T12:31:00.004-04:00

I am a person who needs to look up to people.

It's vital to my existence.

I have an idea in my head of the type of person I'd like to be, and for the most part, I strive to achieve that, but I also need real-life, honest-to-goodness human examples. I think one thing that teachers and mentors often forget is that they (whether they like it or not), are role models. People of all ages look up to their parents or familial elders but there comes a time when they need other non-relative type of role models. Even at my age, I am constantly on the look-out for role models. I am constantly seeking someone to inspire me, to find a real-life example of a person who has their ducks in a row, who is truly a happy individual with zero malignant intent, who gets along with most people and doesn't harbour hate and bad feelings, who is a genuinely nice person and who has good emulative qualities. And I can't find that in a celebrity because that's all smoke and mirrors (and likely not the truth). I need someone that I can touch.

The book I'm reading (Hold on to your Kids) touches on a theory that today's children are no longer adult-oriented but peer-oriented. They postulate that today's youth looks to each other for guidance and they mimic and model one another. They refer to this as the "blind-leading-the-blind" model of growth and they believe this is the reason behind the huge generation gap that exists these days. They believe that this explains why teens are so secretive these days, why they don't relate to their parents, why they want nothign to do with their families, why they are always screaming, throwing tantrums, saying things like "you don't understand me!" and why bullying and suicide is at an all time high in our society. It's a very interesting read. What's MOST interesting is how it makes the reader feel. It states that parenting should not be TAUGHT. There is no right or wrong way to parent, only a right or wrong way to create a relationship (an "attachment") with your kids. Once you've accomplished that, then you are set. It even goes so far as to criticize the multi-billion dollar "how-to-parent" industry (books, nanny 911 shows, help groups , blogs, etc...). So in one breath, it is telling you that you shouldn't buy into all that, but ....didn't the reader just buy into it by reading their own book? It's kind of a contradiction.

As I reflect upon myself though, I have NEVER looked up to my peers. Never. I respect some of them, I enjoy them, I can acknowledge their good qualities, but I never look UP to them. I can't look UP to someone who has the same life span as I do. It just doesn't mesh in my head. I can't think of someone as "older and wiser" as me, if they went to high school at the same time, and has the same marriage shelf-life and whatnot. But youths these days don't see it that way. They look UP to each other, not realizing there isn't anything to look up to. Which makes me wonder, WHERE did all the role models go? Can we blame today's youth for the downwards spiral of our society or do we need to blame ourselves (and our elders?). I was giving this some great thought the other day, and even in my close circle of acquaintances , there is only a small handful of people I "look up" to. Often, when I find myself looking up to someone, something monumental happens that taints their image for me. A couple of you may know what I'm talking about. *wink, wink*

Suddenly, those people who seemed to have it all together, who seemed to be good hearted individuals....well, they just fall short. You learn something about them that shatters your image and you realize they never had it to begin with. It's all just an illusion. And if I feel this way, at the ripe old age of 31, what do today's youth feel like? When the most famous people in the world are Justin Bieber , who, lord knows, has the life experience of a fruit fly, what is the younger generation supposed to emulate? Parents are important, yes. They are likely the MOST important thing, which is why, when my illusions of other individuals shatters, I don't crumble to pieces. I call up my folks and get re-directed. I'm lucky that way. But for those who aren't so lucky, for those who are in desperate need to look up to someone in their circle, what is their alternative when things don't pan out?

Their peers, right?

Look at teachers. College professors. Mentors. Are they what they used to be? Somehow, I don't see it that way. I remember the names of all my teachers. And I liked them all. They all maintained their strength as a role model. Never resorting to childish antics and always maintaining their composure. Their main goal in life, was to teach, to lead, to encourage these innocent beings. And they did a good job. Gosh, I wonder how old my first grade teacher is now (or....if she's still around, actually. How depressing a thought!). But she sure was fantastic at leading. At keepig it together. At remembering what her role was.

Am I making sense to you all?

This feels like a multi-post blog....let's start a discussion and I'll continue on later. What are YOUR thoughts on this topic?

post signature

Random Thoughts

2011-06-09T08:03:00.002-04:00

Quick post today as my little one is sick and whenever that happens, all multi-tasking goes through the window.

* An update on my last post: M is totally right. I did dislike Tropic Thunder the first time I watched it. I couldn't appreciate it because I was too busy being disgusted by the opening sequence (where Alpa Chino -- LOL! --- is showing his "booty sweat" video). It's just a little too raunchy for me. And that feeling of shock lingered on throughout the entire movie. It was only after the second viewing that I appreciated the movie and all that it had to offer (and make fun of). Anyway, because of this, I can admit that "No strings attached" may actually be a decent movie but I'm blinded by the fact that she is a resident and any time that happens in a movie, my BS radar goes up. ALTHOUGH - I truly enjoy watching Scrubs on TV (though I think that show is written by doctors because it's so accurate). But I digress. The point is, see "No strings attached" at your own risk. I'm not willing to watch it again. It just didn't sit well with me.

* I'm reading a book about parenting called "Hold on To Your Kids" by Neufeld and Mate. It is a very enlightening book and I intend to write a long blog about it when I'm done. In the meantime, I've resolved to changing so many little things around my house (though I'm sure most of my mom friends are already doing the things I wasn't doing before). Small things like texting less around my daughter (texting less in general!), turning off the TV (though we were never big TV watchers), eating dinner as a family, spending as much time with my daughter as humanly possible in my line of work. I can already see a difference (probably more in myself than my daughter but isnt' that the point?). The theory in this book postulates that children do not respond to authority as well as they used to "back in the day" (amongst other things) and the reason is because they have become more peer-oriented than parent-oriented. So many of the examples set in this novel hit close to home for me (they will for you too). What's interesting is that I think I became peer oriented for a while too (back in highschool) but my parents managed to win me back. So stay tuned for more on that, and perhaps a book giveaway when I'm done with it too (if the interest is there)..

* Did I mention I went to Disney? About a month ago, my family and I went to Disney World in Florida. I intend to write a blog (or two) about that as well (with pictures), so keep an eye out for that post as well.

* As for the big elephant in the room, MILESTONES 2. I know a lot of you are wondering how that's going. It's....going. But oh so slowly! I am not sure why it's going so slowly - there are a multitude of factors that could contribute to my delay , least of all is the fact that there just AREN'T enough hours in the day. But I intend on writing more about it in the next little while. Milestones promotions will commence once more so tell all your friends about this blog!

And thanks for your loyalty! For those most loyal, I DO know who you are and my gratitude is immense. As is my love!

Talk to you soonish!

post signature

A discussion amongst friends

2011-06-03T08:02:00.003-04:00

My friend M and I have a lot in common. We've pretty much grown up together. She also grew up with Andrea (who went to the same school) and at one point, I think in high school, she decided to merge her two best friendships and create a trio. It was like the invention of the Oreo cookie. Magic. And I think we all take turns being the creamy center, but that was a very that's-what-she-said quote and I totally digress so I'll get back to the topic at hand now.

So in one of our daily discussions, M PROMISED me that I would like a certain movie. It was a movie I wouldn't have been caught dead watching , so I was actually really surprised when she recommended it. The thing is, I trust her. She introduced me to some of my favorite TV shows, and we share a love of *good* quality entertainment (and a smattering of trashy ones as well), we both love science fiction (Star Trek rules!) and overall, our discussions about this type of stuff never gets too old. So the movie is called "No strings attached" and it stars Natalie Portman and Ashton Kutcher. Heard of it? Here is the trailer below.

So when M told me to see this movie, our conversation went something like this:

Me: Really?
Her: Yeah! It won't change your world, but it's really good. It's really cute!
Me: REALLY?!
Her: Yeah! They have really good chemistry. It's very cute. Definitely see it.
Me: But...Ashton Kutcher has been so horrible lately....Oh by the way, did you hear he's gonna be on Two and a Half men?
HEr: Yah! I did. Wonder how that's gonna go. But definitely see this movie.
Me: Okay. Great! I'm excited now! You're sure?
Her: Well, dont' go into it with too many expectations, but it's cute. I saw it on a plane and I really laughed. I really enjoyed it. See it. And let me know what you think.
Me: Okay. Will do.

So , I saw it.

And I was gonna let her know what I thought in a private conversation , but I've decided to share my opinion with all of you. Because really, aren't we all friends here? And I KNOW M won't mind a healthy discussion about a crappy movie.

Oh!

I'm sorry!

Did I just say that?

Yes.

Yes. I did.

M, come ..................... ON!!!!! Really? THIS movie? THIS one? For real? It was crap on a stick! The story is totally NOT believable. Ashton and Natalie have zero chemistry ( I am really hating on Natalie these days. I used to love that girl!). Not to mention the total b-s factor that comes with her "I'm a doctor. I work 80 hours a week". Oh brother. *insert major eye roll here*

It's like. Residents watching people trying to be residents just makes them want to vomit. Makes them want to throw their cheese dog at the screen. I just don't buy it. Just like how I didn't buy Sandra Bullocks' doctor role in the Lake House. Or Meg Ryan's role in a that movie with Nicolas Cage when he becomes an Angel. I call bull. It's like watching Joey on Friends be Dr. Drake Ramore. Laughable. Just...stick with being a flower shop owner. Or a pet shop owner. That works best in romantic comedies. Don't try to bring reality into it. It's just a recipe for disaster.

And like... the plot was so lame. And sooooo predictable. Oh hey M! Remember the part where you said it wasn't predictable?! It really is. Like a lot. I mean, they practically tell you what's gonna happen in the trailer. And like, I think Ashton Kutcher has played the EXACT same role for the last 10 movies in a row. Remember that one horrible one with Katherine Heigl lately? Where he's a CIA agent or something? Or the one he played with Cameron Diaz? What happened to the Ashton Kutcher who played in the Butterfly Effect? Where did THAT guy go?

Ugh. I'm disappointed. I no likey this movie. It wasn't even fluffy. I can take fluffy. It's just that it pretended to be deep, and funny and quirky and edgy, but it was all just a show. It is still a bad, bad, bad romantic comedy. Like the script was written in a day. And they tried to cover it up by getting two big stars to play the two main roles...but it's like trying to cover up a huge zit with toothpaste. It just looks stupider.

So yeah M. For once, we disagree. I didn't like this one. But now I feel forced to see its competitor, "Friends with Benefits" that I believe comes out this summer. It stars Justin Timberlake and Mila Kunis (my new favorite female leading lady. Ever since Sarah Marshall actually). I'm attachign the trailer below. But warning! This trailer isn't very appropriate for work, or kids or .....probably this blog actually. So watch with caution. Or don't watch at all.

See? This trailer actually made me laugh though. So I'm intrigued. M, you have to watch this one too now and if it's better than No Strings Attached (crap crap crap), then you owe me...something. I don't know what, or where, or how , but you owe me. Because I wasted two hours of my life on No Strings Attached , so you owe me.

And finally. One last thing. Because our trio is making it a goal at some point in our lifetime to go to the new Harry Potter theme-park world thingie in Orlando, I'm attaching a trailer of the last movie....Only one month left. Omg. I can hardly contain myself. But....I'm also so sad!!! Aren't you?

That just gave me chills. Why do I love this franchise so much?

post signature

The new childhood epidemic

2011-05-31T12:33:00.004-04:00

I'm spending a lot of time in the clinic lately. Lots of mildly sick kids but also a lot of "well-child" visits and there is an epidemic that keeps biting me in the armpit. No, it isn't autism (though that warrants its very own discussion and I will touch on that sometime in June). And it isn't a communicable disease (though the flu was out of control this year in the USA). It is ...(are you ready for it?).....childhood obesity.

This problem, at least in America, is totally out of control. In short: too many children are obese. Not only the aesthetic version of obese, but the MEDICAL version of obese. Which means, the following:

1- High cholesterol
2- Early onset childhood TYPE 2 diabetes (as a direct result of their weight and lifestyle )
3- Liver disease (as a direct result of their weight and lifestyle)
4- Set-up for early (early!) heart disease
5- Not to mention all the psychosocial problems that come along with this issue. And you all know about those because not a single person in North America doesn't buy into that brand.

And the list goes on and on...I mean, it is NOTHING to see a morbidly obese 6 year old these days who is already exhibiting early signs of insulin-resistance. My heart always goes out to these children. Can you imagine what they go through at school?

So I'm dedicating this post to this very important topic. And I'm going to call on my fellow resident/doctor friends who read this blog to speak up in the comments section and add anything I may have missed. Because often times, I find myself having this discussion with families about their children. While many families may be in denial about their child's weight issues, many are also very responsive, but they always ask me this one critical question: "What do we do?"

Well.... I'm gonna lay it all out for you right here. The thing is, it's no easy task. You change your life. You change it all. You re-program your brain, and as a result, you re-program your child's brain. Children are a product of the environment in which they live - and that means you! There is one giant bonus to being a child, when it comes to obesity: they have growth on their side. With a few simple changes, you can stunt their horizontal growth and allow them to continue to grow VERTICALLY, thus leaning them out for their young adult life. So here we go. My tips (though I don't pretend to take credit for this, these are well-known rules).

1- Cut out the bad carbs. No more white, processed bread, flour, rice and pasta. If you must use carbs, stick with the whole grain kind. And that means for the ENTIRE family. It's just healthier and it tastes the same, so why not?

I already need to insert a tangent here. Note that none of this will work if your child is seeing you chowing down on some junk food while you are asking him to munch on carrot sticks. This needs to be a family effort, and consistency is the key.

2- Cut down on the fried stuff. This is the time to get out your cookbook (or your google fingers) and read up on healthy recipes for your family. Instead of a grilled cheese sandwich, stick to a toasted cheese sandwich and so forth.

3- Do not, BY ANY MEANS, give them soda pop. Seriously. This is such a big no-no. There is absolutely NO nutritional value to these harmful drinks and children under the age of 12 really have no business drinking coca cola, Dr. Pepper, Sprite and all the other ones who fall under the same category...Interestingly, this actually even extends to the diet variety. Studies have actually shown that diet drinks lead to obesity as well, by increasing insulin production (and insulin, is what we call a growth-factor, so more insulin = more fat. This is partly why the Atkin's diet works so well). Which brings me to my next point.

4- Juice. Sigh.

Oh juice.

Remember folks, there is nothing wrong with water. Actually, there is EVERYTHING RIGHT with water. And I generally don't buy the "he won't drink water" bit either. He will. After a while, he will drink water. It's all about conditioning. Milk is a wonderful nad poweful alternative as well. But if you're dealing with an obese child over the age of 2, you likely should be offering him/her 2% instead of whole milk. And if you can fresh squeeze juices, then more power to you, because the nutritional value and vitamin supplements are plentiful in fresh squeezed juices. BUT, if you must (and we all must I suppose), try to limit your child's sugar intake by restricting the amount of juice they consume. Whether that means watering it down, or only giving them a glass with dinner, or sticking with a "weekends only" rule (that is a wonderful rule by the way. An entire family cheat weekend. Pizza fridays! Or McDonald Saturdays! It gives the entire family something nice to look forward to but the impact overall, is minimal). Regardless, it is all up to you. Take home message here: if your child suffers from dental caries, or is fighting a battle with obesity, juice and high sugar drinks are half the battle. Cut them out, and you will do wonders.

5- Try to rid your house of empty calories (chips, cookies and crap) and stock your house with more healthy alternatives. Vegetables, grains, fruits, lean meats. If the temptation is not there, chances are, the tantrums will dissipate with time. Which reminds me - because I hear this quite often, "If I don't give him what he wants to eat, he will throw a tantrum" - to which I always have the same answer: "A tantrum won't kill him. His weight will."

It's really no contest. No child should die of starvation in a loving and caring home. And while I really do sympathize with the tantrum filled homes, that is just part of the territory when it comes to being a parent. Obesity, is not.

6- Finally, lead a healthy lifestyle with your children. Children should spend the majority of their day running around and being active. If you cannot afford to enroll them in soccer classes, then find a way to make it happen. Limit TV to no more than 2 hours per night. Make a habit of going for walks with your children, of playing games and sports with them, of letting them run around and be young. It's their natural tendency and by allowing them to watch TV and play video games all day and night, you are robbing them of an active and healthy childhood.

Make sense?

post signature

She was really nice...

2011-05-27T09:57:00.002-04:00

Everyone in the medical field will agree that this profession is one where appreciation is sparse. Don't get me wrong, it's an extremely rewarding field, and no other feeling compares to healing the sick, BUT, overall, people don't appreciate you as much as you would like. But once in a while, you do get an extremely appreciative family, who says something, or does something that makes your day and reminds you that all your efforts are not being wasted, and that you are doing a good job.

This month, I am working in urgent care. For the Canadian folks, that's like "walk-in-clinic" basically. It's a lower acuity ER. Ear infections, fevers, strep throat, asthma attacks, broken limbs, stomach pain and pink eye. That about covers 80% of the visits right there. It's a nice environment - most people truly enjoy their urgent care month. In reality, I think it is a rotation that really helps you sharpen your diagnostic skills. This is where you say: "sick" or "not sick". And to the non-medical people, that is the MOST valuable skill a physician can acquire and unfortunately, it is not one that can be taught. Once in a while though, you will get a very sick patient and your actions will truly determine the outcome...but I digress.

So the other day, I spent about 20 minutes in a room with a mother who brought her young daughter in for evaluation. It was no biggie, she was basically constipated. But we spoke for a while and I gave them a lot of advice (about different things) - and at the end, as I walked out, I heard the loveliest thing. I was about to close the door when I heard the mother say , "She was really nice, wasn't she?" and the daughter replied, "Yeah!".

She was really nice.

Four words is all it takes to keep me going. It's amazing how far a little appreciation will go.

On a sadder note, I need your prayers for a patient of mine. I'm not at liberty to discuss her case (although it really warrants discussion), but I really care for this girl, and she's having a huge case of bad luck and is very sick. Like ICU sick. She needs all your prayers. No girl deserves it more.

On another note - what does everyone think of the end of Oprah?

post signature

The Other guys

2011-05-23T21:03:00.002-04:00

I think it's no secret that I'm a super big sucker for slapstick comedy. It is a love I share with my husband, my med school roomie and a handful of other people in my life. I mean, I will take Steve Martin, ANY. DAY. OF. THE. WEEK. (And I do! I really do!).

So needless to say, I was pretty sure I'd find "The Other Guys" to be a funny and loveable movie. For starters, I'm a big Will Farrell fan (of course, he's a distant second to Steve Carell but more on that later). Next, the storyline seemed funny to me. And finally, it's slapstick comedy at its best. It was a recipe for love!

Don't get me wrong, this movie was no Old School, but it has DEFINITE repeat value and DEFINITE quoting value. I kinda heart it.

So now I have to share this one small thing about the movie. You guys. There's this one line - omigosh, I don't even know why I find it so funny - but just thinking about it makes me laugh for about 5 minutes straight. Today, I kept thinking about it, over and over and over again, and I would just giggle to myself and the more I tried not to laugh about it, the more I kept giggling about it and the worse it got. I just kept hoping that nobody was watching me from afar. Surprisingly, this line isn't even delivered by Will Farrell , but in actuality, it's delivered by Marky Mark (sorry, that's the only name I'll ever have for him). And I'm not even a Marky Mark fan....though after this movie, I think I may be. But I digress.

The line is the following: "I'm a peacock! You gotta let me fly!"

I know, you're not feeling it , are you? You may have to see the movie to get it. And this is not just a "Samira" thing. Turns out, I'm not the only fan of this line because YouTube has a ton of videos of it. So I've got the link below for your viewing pleasure. WARNING: There is a slight bit of profanity in the following clip and a little bit of violence. But it's SO. FLIPPING. Funny. Click HERE to view it.

Seriously. I can't stop laughing and I'm just thinking about it. "I'm a peacock! You gotta let me fly!!" I think that's the best line in that movie. (Though my husband would disagree).

On a separate (yet somewhat related note), did anyone watch the season finale of The Office? I was SO unbelievable pleasantly surprised! I've been mourning the loss of Steve Carell these past few week and I didn't think the show would be watchable after his departure, but it turns out, that show may still have some laughs in it! Well done Office! The cliffhanger at the end makes for some great conversation and the potential candidates to fill Carell's void definitely have their pros and cons. Overall, the season finale was laugh-out-loud funny and I have a brand new appreciation for that James Spader guy. Is that his name? I don't even know. But he is a top-runner in my books.

Well, that's all for me. Just a short rambling about a couple of funny movie/show clips!

Have you seen The Other Guys? Is it just me or is that line flipping hilarious?

post signature

Nice deeds

2011-05-20T09:53:00.002-04:00

The strangest and loveliest thing happened to me this morning. On may way to taking my daughter to daycare and then heading to work, I stopped at Starbucks for a pick-me-up. I was in the drive-thru lineup and my daughter was in the back seat and while we were waiting, we were playing in the mirror and enjoying each other's company. When I pulled up to the window to collect my drink, the drive-thru lady told me that I didn't have to pay. That's right, my drink was free.

You wanna know why?

Because some NICE samaritan (read: angel) in front of me, paid for my drink. Can you believe it? I was totally flabbergasted. The conversation went a little like this:

Lady: Good morning. You actually owe me nothing today.
Me: Huh?
Lady: The lady in front of you paid for your drink.
Me: Huh?
Lady: Ya! Isn't that nice!?
Me: Huh --?

*pause*

Me: Well, uh... Did she know me?
Lady: No, she said you had a baby in your car and she wanted to pay for you.
Me: I....well....but....oh.....wow.
Lady: I know! I guess there are still nice people in the world.
Me: I .....yah.... wow.

I mean, to say I'm still in shock is an understatement. What I'm kicking myself about is the fact that I didn't pay it forward and pay for the next guy's drink...I plan on doing that tomorrow. But I like to think that the universe did its part to do something nice for me. Recall that earlier this year, as a part of my new year's resolution, I vowed to do a nice deed every week. And although I haven't been blogging about it (sorry guys), I have been doing it. And maybe, just maybe, this was my little pat on the back?

You think?

I know there's a slim chance in heck that this person reads my blog but if you do, lady, THANK YOU. That was undoubtedly the nicest thing ever. To just do something like that for a complete stranger, just because I was playing with my kid and you happened to catch a glimpse of it...is beyond lovely. And more people should be like you.

Seriously.

So...to my loyal readers, I have a challenge for you. If you get in a drive-thru this week, why don't you fork out an extra couple of bucks and pay for the person behind you too? What prevents us from doing that once a year? You know? It's a wonderful, wonderful gesture, and it's a small deed that means a big deal. It's one of those truly altruistic gestures and we need more of those in our world. Do you accept my challenge?

If you do it, make sure to tell me about it!

post signature

Do you believe in signs?

2011-03-23T16:27:00.003-04:00

I think the world is very divided on this topic. Half of us believe that we are floating around randomly and all occurrences are coincidences while the rest of us believe in signs, fate and destiny. I can't decide which half I belong to. Some days, I'm all about science, random things happening randomly, believing purely in coincidences and nothing more. Other days, I look at my husband (and the way we found each other), or look at my friends (and the way I came to find them), or look at my daughter, or my parents or any other completely unique situation that never would have happened if the stars had not aligned juuuuust right and think: how can there not be something else at play?

There's got to be more, no?

Truly, I don't know. But occasionally, I do believe and I think I'm happier when I do. I like believing that all things happen for a reason. It gives me comfort. It gives me hope when things are down or bad. I like to think that I'm learning a lesson for a reason, that I'm going through something crappy for a purpose and that ultimately, I'll get to that goal and the outcome will be positive. I won't lie. I like that a lot.

Right now, I'm going through a weird phase. I don't know what to make of it, or how to emerge from it (but trust me, I want to emerge BADLY). I finally decided yesterday that the best way to emerge from it would be to surround myself with family and people who know and love me and who can ground me back to the person I am, the person I like, the person I am proud to be. So I started making phone calls. End result? I realized that my living grandparents are really cute....and really, really old.

Case in point: a long-distance telephone discussion with my grandfather (who is hard of hearing).

Me: Hi grandpa! Happy Persian New Year! How are you?
Him: Hello my sweet doctor granddaughter Samira, how are you?
Me: I'm good, how are YOU doing grandpa?
Him: I'm so glad to hear your voice. I was missing you so much. How are you?
Me (raising voice): I'M DOING VERY GOOD GRANDPA. HAPPY NEW YEAR. WHAT HAS BEEN GOING ON WITH YOU?
Him: Are you good?
Me: YES! I'm GREAT!
Him: How is your daughter?
Me: She is great grandpa. She is walking and talking now.
Him: She should be walking and talking soon, I think.
Me: Yes, yes.
Him: Happy Persian New year!
ME: Happy NEW YEAR TO YOU TOO GRANDPA!
Him: This is the part where you wish me a happy new year too! *chuckles cutely as if making a joke*
Me: HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Him: Are you working a lot?
Me: No, I'm doing okay grandpa.
Him: Tell them to stop working you so much.
Me: IT'S NOT THAT BAD, HOW ARE YOU GUYS DOING OVER THERE?
Him: That bad?! Oh, that's horrible. Maybe if you wish me a happy new year, you will feel better.

And so it went, for another 10 minutes, in circles. And afterwards, I have to admit, I felt better.

As a slight tangent, but somehow back to the topic at hand (i.e, signs and fate), I opened a random fortune cookie today (which basically just landed in my path) which read: Follow that restless urge to find yourself.

Hm. How appropriate. So tell me. Should I believe it, and do what it says? Should I trust that fate brought that fortune to me and is trying to tell me something? That I need to regroup and find myself once more? Or should I just throw it away, as most people do with fortunes, and take each day as it comes?

Suggestions?

post signature

The end of many things

2011-03-21T07:05:00.003-04:00

Maybe this is what the 2012 prophecy was about. The end of the world - as we once knew it - is approaching. We are heading into a new and cold generation of robots and automated services. But I'm getting ahead of myself. Let me rewind a little.

I was EXTREMELY saddened this weekend. Why, you may ask? Well.... I went to a Borders yesterday and was shocked to see that the rumours were true: these bookstores are all going out of business. I still remember when the big bookstores were swallowing the little ones up; it was a strange time when our world seemed to be going more towards quantity than quality. Many people were unhappy and if I'm not mistaken, there was a romantic comedy even made about the concept (You've got Mail? Not Meg Ryan's best, don't you agree?). But I digress.

I'll also be the first to admit that I adore big bookstores. Especially the ones with the coffee shops in them, the big leather couches and the perfect atmosphere where you can just spend an entire afternoon lounging , reading, browsing and learning. Love love love. It's one of my favorite things to do, actually. It's my go-to place. My yoga. And I actually wanted to do that yesterday, after having worked for 24 hours straight, not having had a day off in an eternity. So I did. And it took about 5 minutes for me to realize that all the "50% percent off!" signs were not a big sale just for me but an effort to sell everything in the store that was officially going out of business.

Sad.

So. very. sad.

I'm already upset with the world (and myself) for letting redbox and netflix and pay per view be so successful because it has lead to the bankruptcy of Blockbuster and other major video stores. So now, we are faced with a world where human interaction is even less necessary than before. Our kids will grow up in a world where going to a movie store on a Saturday night, picking up popcorn , candy and picking out two of their favorite movies from a wall of movies, no longer exists. I really think it's sad. I am mourning for them, actually.

And now, the same goes for bookstores. Our thirst for advancing technology has made the FEW readers left out there (because really, is that not a problem in its own?!), switch over to e-books and e-crap basically. We are losing out on so much. Don't get me wrong, I'm as much of an offender in using amazon as the next guy (heck, my own Milestones did the best on that site than in any bookstore) but had I known that ordering books off of amazon would someday mean the end of bookstores in general, I would have thought twice about it. I really would've.

Read this article from MSN for a more thorough explanation as to why your bookstore is giong out of business: click here.

Personally, I'm on the exact same page as the author of that article. I'm monumentally disappointed in our society, disappointed in the direction we are heading and disappointed that I'll be telling my daughter, "back in my day, things were better"; like an old fart who can't let go of the past. Spending time doing something tangible and actually touching items, while interacting with humans, is what makes us warm, and kind and ...well...for lack of a better word: human. Without all these concepts, without the video store, or the bookstore, or the record store, or the newspaper ....what are we? Computer junkies? That all?

Where do our values and experiences come from? Text messages?

Where will our kids learn to be normal? And human? And where will they learn LANGUAGES and not "text lingo"? Where will they learn to be polite ? Where will they learn to actually smile and not to use :) instead? (You just smiled didn't you?).

Sad. It's all sad to me. Don't you agree? Is all this where we're heading? Should we just close all stores down and shop for everything online? Should we just put an end to this ongoing cycle of trying to give humans jobs? No more phone centers? No more sales personel? No more anything? Should we all just disconnect from each other while we can and leave our interactions to weird and disgusting concepts such as facebook and twitter? "Oooh, he wrote on my wall twice", "Oooh, she liked my status! We're best buds now".

It's actually gross. You like me? Wanna be my friend? Come up and talk to me. Be my REAL friend. Know what I mean?

But maybe you think differently? What is your stance on this topic? Maybe you can help me see the bright side of all this.....

post signature

Depressing topics

2011-03-19T07:24:00.003-04:00

I haven't had a day off since the 6th of this month and I won't have one until next weekend...which I think will make it almost 20 straight days of work without a day off. I'm tired. But c'est la vie when you're a resident. It's all part of this time we call residency. The funny thing is, I can't believe I'm already more than halfway done. To me, that is just crazy. It feels like just yesterday that I graduated from medical school and finally considered myself a "real" doctor. Now, I'm more than halfway done with my training and on my way to practicing...alone. Craziness.

Funny thing is, that this stretch of work isn't giving me much else to blog about. Oh! I did do a deed of the week. I think you guys should participate in this too. I donated to the disaster fund relating to Japan. If you can do that - if you have a few bucks to spare, I think it's the least we can do, right? The situation there is so unbelievably sad that I can't bring myself to think about it for too long. And I usually see a LOT of sadness. But this is just excessive. My heart truly goes out to those poor people and their families.

And also? I'm started to freak a little and worry about the year 2012. I'm just saying. All this nuclear plant stuff and radiation leakage and whatnot? And all those dead birds a while ago? *shivers* What if? Just ........... what if?

What if 2012 really was the end? What would you do? Would you live your life any differently? Would you do more? Do less? What would you do?

Okay. Off to work!

Short blog today. More to come after my 24 hour marathon shift.

post signature

Movie Review: The Karate Kid

2011-03-15T09:32:00.000-04:00

I.....have no....words.

For real.

Words fail me.

But I'll try. So here it goes.

I already have an issue with movie re-makes and the fact that Hollywood is completely OUT of original ideas and while they refuse to make Milestones into a movie (not that I've asked) , they have no problem recycling every character and superhero in the world and now, they are going through this phase where they just want to remake EVERY MOVIE...like EVER.

How was that for a run-on sentence? No but seriously. SERIOUSLY. Let me start by linking the trailer for this movie.

I'm just gonna blurt out what I've been dying to say: THIS MOVIE SUCKED A**. I mean, I'm just outraged! For real? FOR REAL?!!!!

I mean, there was NO originality in this movie whatsoever. The story is basically, a complete reincarnation of the first version, which, is such a classic and favorite! I'm of the old belief that states: if it ain't broke, don't fix it! I'm just so outraged. Because this movie is such a blatant non-pretense copy-cat version of the first one, the viewer has no choice but to compare the two movies. So here goes the comparison.

Jackie Chan versus the Original Mr. Miagi ---- THE ORIGINAL IS SO MUCH BETTER.

Will Smith's bratty ass infantile child versus Ralph Macchio --- RALPH IS SO MUCH BETTER.

The build up to the final fight scene --- THE ORIGINAL IS SO MUCH BETTER.

The believability (yes that's a word) of the story --- THE ORIGINAL IS SO MUCH MORE BELIEVABLE!

The final kick --- OMIGOD. THE ORIGINAL KICKS THE NEW ONES BUTT. (pun intended).

I mean, look at this. Just look at it.

Now compare it with this bullcrap.

I mean....I don't know about you, but I just laughed out loud. Am I watching the karate kid or the matrix? Ridiculous.

So ridiculous, that I can't be bothered writing an official and proper review of this movie. You see my outrage. This movie should never have been made. I can't believe it was. It's laughable. I mean, I'm sure it was good for some people (seeing as how it made a crapload of money) but for this girl? No.

The original trumps it. To death.

But really. Words fail me. All I can think is that words fail me.

post signature

The Romantics : Movie Review

2011-03-13T06:53:00.003-04:00

I had been looking forward to this movie for a long time. The trailer had me hooked. Unfortunately, having a now 12 month old makes going to the movies a rare occurrence so I waited and watched it on PPV. In a nutshell, The Romantics stars Katie Holmes, Josh Duhamel, Anna Paquin and some other semi-famous folks and it is loosely based on the book written by Galt Niederhoffer. Here is the trailer for ya. Make sure you watch it, if you haven't already.

As you can see, it's a love-triangle type of movie. Katie Holmes dated Josh Duhamel for four years. Then, inexplicably, he starts dating her college roomie (and her complete opposite), Anna Paquin. Despite that, they (Katie and Josh) continue to have an affair until he disappears one day and proposes to Anna. Just like that. The movie starts right around the time where the wedding festivities take place. Katie shows up for the wedding and finds herself having a hard time suppressing her feelings for her former flame. Turns out, he has the same problem. And so the denouement begins....

Overall, I'd say this movie was good. I actually enjoyed it, though I didn't fall in love with it. Know what I mean? The movie does a great job of grabbing your attention right from the start; once you get into the characters , you're hooked until the end, desperate to know who Josh Duhamel ends up choosing. The subplots are weak though and there isn't much character development. It's a quirky movie and it does a good job of revisiting that awkward stage between college and career , the one most of us get stuck in, the one that some of us get lost in. That stage where you don't know who you are yet, aren't sure of what you want yet, are surprised to find out you haven't made anything of yourself yet, and somehow find that you keep putting yourself in naughty situations...probably in the hopes that if will give you the passion you're looking for. Asking for trouble. Because without that thrill, your life is too stagnant to bear. Remember that stage? You know you do.

I thought Katie Holmes did a pretty decent job in this movie. Come to think of it, I haven't enjoyed her this much in a long while. Maybe that's because the character in this movie resembles Joey Potter and I felt like I got a good old dose of Dawson's Creek and nostalgia. Anna Paquin is probably the strongest actor in the bunch (hm...come to think of it, she DOES kinda remind me of Jen from Dawson's Creek too), and Malin Akerman is pretty darned convincing as the floozy of the bunch (um...yeah. Another Dawson's character! Audrey, I'd say). Josh Duhamel, in my opinion, does a good job of being himself (he has the acting repertoire of Jack Nicholson, in the sense that he always plays the same guy - in this case, Pacey, from Dawson's creek). Overall, it was a job well done, very convincing, and made me really want to read the book.

The only hiccup in the movie was the ending. Without ruining it for you, I just don't know how I feel about it! I really wanted the ending to go a certain way, and it didn't! So after it ended, I sat there and stared at the TV for about 5 minutes, trying to sort through my feelings. And that was probably the point of the movie. It probably wanted to leave you hanging....and if you prepare yourself for it, I'd say you might probably enjoy the movie even more than I did. If you liked Dawson's creek, that is. Overall, I give it one thumb up, as a quirky movie that keeps you hanging. But be prepared, it's not a crowd pleaser. It has a very specific target audience in mind.

On another note....the trailer for the Smurf movie is out! It kind of reminds me of the Alvin and the chipmunks movie, but what the heck, right? Check it out. Kinda cute, eh?

So like....I'm pretty sure, that about 16 years ago, at nerd camp, I used the word "smurf" as a verb. A lot. I'm so glad I can start doing that again. Who's with me? JL? RS?

post signature

Deed of the week and The Romantics

2011-03-10T06:19:00.003-05:00

I haven't forgotten about this new year's resolution of mine and in little ways, I still occasionally do continue to try to do nice things. How am I? Probably not that much, but I'm still going to try and do it. So this week, my deed was that I took five individual dollar bills (too bad we don't have looney's down here in the USA) and I randomly dropped a dollar in a place I was hoping a stranger would find it. Most of them, I'm hoping would end up in the pockets of the cleaning staff at the hospital. I had a few moments where I had the dollar bill and I would "oops!" just drop it there for someone else to come pick up later. Hopefully, it'll make their day? The only downside about this deed is that I won't see the outcome. But I suppose that's not the point of a selfless deed is it?

Hm.

That actually reminds me of a friend's episode where Joey tries to convince Phoebe that there is no such thing as a selfless good deed. Pretty cute (and true?)! I actually found a clip! Gotta love youtube. They won't let me embed it though so here's the link:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HzQSEoNdGvk

On another note, I recently saw the movie "The Romantics". Seen it? I was waiting a long time for that movie and was REALLY looking forward to it. Scrap! My little one is up. I'm out of time. I'll save that review for later.

Be back soon!

In the meantime, check out that friend's link , it really IS cute. I so love that show. Still.

post signature

March

2011-03-08T07:22:00.003-05:00

In my quest to thank my friends, I failed to mention my family - and they really cannot go without mention (woo that's a lot of negatives!). Both the Armins and the Hodges(es) have been instrumental in helping me survive residency and I am indebted to them for life. I don't like talking too much about my private life on this blog (I only divulge what I'm comfortable divulging) but I have to say, just this once, that I truly have the best in-laws in the world and also the best family. If it weren't for them, I can honestly say I would probably have dropped out of residency by now. A strong family support system is a must.

On a different note, it's Tuesday and I'm in the nursery this month. Last year, I missed a nursery month (because of maternity leave) and I decided that I would use an elective this year to make it up. I'm loving it, with the exception of ONE thing: yup, you know it - circumcisions. I know I have written countless long blogs about circumcisions before and how I'm not vehemently opposed to them but I am NOT a fan of performing them. I truly may try to find a career that doesn't require me to do circumcisions. Lumbar punctures? Heck yes. I can do one of those per day. A circ? Nope. No thank you. No way. No more.

Please.

But boys are born every day. *sigh*

What can you do, right?

On another note, has anyone seen the movie Eat, Pray, Love? I didn't bother to read the book but I did watch Julia Robert's widescreen adaptation and to be honest, I was not impressed. I guess I just don't relate to the main character. I don't quite relate to people who have EVERYTHING in life and still find ways to be unhappy. Still act like there's some big secret to life and they need to go out and make everyone around them miserable so they can be selfish bastards and do what they want. Was that harsh? I guess it's just the way I feel. My thoughts are as follows: if you're healthy, living in North America, have a job, a good and healthy family, a decent income, and opportunities at your finger tips, you just DON'T HAVE THE RIGHT to chronically complain. You know? I think Julia Robert's character (Liz something) needed a little dose of "it's a wonderful life" instead of wasting my time making me watch her eat pasta in Italy , drink wine and learn Italian and give off the impression that THAT is the key to happiness in life.

Cause it's not.

Your thoughts?

post signature

Updates on residency

2011-03-06T15:06:00.003-05:00

A friend of mine asked for an update on what it's been like having a child in residency. I guess I just don't know how to answer that. In a way , it sucks. But so many of us do it - and the alternative (not having a child) is so much worse. True, there are so many times where I wish I could have a "normal" job where I could be more flexible but like all residents with kids (and there are many), we manage. But I think that's true of any working parent, is it not? We all do the best we can , we all "manage" and we all always feel like we don't have enough time with our children. My biggest challenges so far are the days when my daughter gets sick. I literally have no clue what to do. The thing about our line of work is that people REALLY rely on us, and last minute call-ins are really not possible. It's not like you can tell people , "Oh never mind. My daughter is sick, so I'll see your sick child tomorrow". Nope. Instead, you have to dump all your sick patients onto another resident or physician, who is already swamped and overworked and dying to get home to HER kids. And though most of us don't mind doing that for each other, it's tough. And we all suffer through it.

I think the tool that is most helpful in surviving life as a resident and a parent is establishing a good sleep pattern early on. Though clearly, that's SOO much easier said than done. But if you can be one of those lucky people who can get your child to sleep early (around 7pm) , then that gives you at least 2 hours of free time per night to do other stuff, or heck, to just lounge and pass out in front of the television like you normally would after a hellish day at the hospital.

What I find wonderful though - and I think most of the people in residency would agree - is that the friends you make in this time of your life are truly unique and valued. I was one of those people who ached my way through high school, stumbled my way through university and lost my way after that. It wasn't until medical school that I truly discovered myself. Even then though, I had a tight group of close knit friends, and a few scattered one-purpose type friends and that was about all. In residency though, I found myself making the friendships I was truly missing. The ones that "get you" because they are going through it themselves. The ones that don't expect anything from you but give you so much in return. And somehow, you do the same for them and it all ends up working out. I go days where I text MP a hundred times a day, email her at the same time, write on her facebook page and call her on my way home. Then , we both fall off the face of the planet because we are struggling through crazy rotations and the only time we see each other is when one of us is about to have a meltdown. But those times pass and eventually, we pick up right where we left off, never requiring an explanation, never having missed a beat. In fact, we find ways to help each other out. Because we "get it". And in life, it is so rare that friends just get each other. Many times, I find that friendships just take it out of you, and for that purpose, I just can't be bothered to go there. There are more important things, aren't there? Life is so short, isn't it? Why not surround ourselves with the things that come naturally?

So since I went there, a few more shoutouts are required: MV (for putting up with me for the last 2 months! Thank yoU!), JL and RS for always bringing a smile to my face, PS and CB (though I highly doubt they read this blog), KB for missing me all the time and for letting me know she misses me , and NF and LB who remind me that no matter what the circumstances, and no matter how long the lapse, we will never lose touch.

But above all that, my two rocks, M and Andrea who despite NOT being residents, are the most understanding, sweet, caring and lovely women. The type of people who recognize what I need, when I need it, who have never played a game , who have stayed true and faithful to the foundation of our friendship, no matter what the circumstance, what our locations and who have remained the best role models for friendships in general. In a word: thanks. In three: I love ya.

I'm not sure how this blog turned into an hommage to good friends but perhaps the two DO go hand-in-hand; I could not be a good resident and a good mother if I didn't have good friends. I could not hold it together for my child and continue to navigate these rough waters if it weren't for my good friends. I could not keep my sanity, if I didn't have good friends to vent to, twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week. I could not keep my cool, if I didn't know that there are about 10 friends (and their families) who would watch my daughter in heart-beat if I were to have an emergency. I could not wake up and go to work, if I didn't have to look forward to seeing my friends, working with my friends and texting and emailing my friends. I could not, I could not, I could not......

So I guess this is how we survive motherhood in residency. I guess it's how we survive residency in general; we find good friends and hang onto them for dear life.

Because residency really IS the best of times and the worst of times....

post signature

The Flu is an epidemic....so is ignoring your backyard

2011-03-03T19:43:00.004-05:00

I just came off two pretty intense months of residency. It was an insane time in our hospital and we've been full, to the max, nearly every day - turning people away and everything. We, the residents, have seen our fair share of illnesses, accidents, non-accidents (aka abuse) etc...And I have got to tell you guys something: the flu, is a freaking epidemic this year.

For kids at least.

I am not kidding. Children are becoming INSANELY sick with the flu and infants and babies are DYING of the flu. Really, really, you need to vaccinate your child. And you need to vaccinate them around Christmas time because the flu usually peaks in January/February and if you vaccinate your child in October or November, the effects may not be as potent by the new year. It's just not worth it. I know there's all this talk (and really, it's just talk) about vaccines being harmful , but it's just not worth it. I mean, we residents, are just such a paranoid bunch and there are times when I just wish that I could rub some of my paranoia onto the general public. And don't think that just because your child doesn't go to school, or daycare, that this makes them immune to the flu. Because if that were the case, none of these 3 week old infants would get the flu. But they do. Because it's just in the air. It's everywhere. You can't run away.

On another similar-yet-different note, I have really had enough of people backing into their children in their driveways. Again, if I could just sprinkle some of my paranoia onto people (like fairy dust), I would. Kids just have NO place in the front yard or driveway. They jump in the road . So much. SO MUCH! They run after their parents. They run after their basketballs. They run after cars. I mean, the list goes on. And if I see one more child's brain on a gurney (that's right, I went there), I may just have a meltdown. So please. Spread the word. If you're not holding your child's hand, they don't need to be frolicking in your front yard - especially when you've got a perfectly good backyard waiting for you.

So there's my rant.

I'm done with the preaching. *big breath*

But it takes a toll on you. These things, they eventually start making us residents/doctors jaded. Hypothetically, when we hear of a child (with a known febrile seizures) being left alone in a bathtub, then almost drowns because he had another seizure and nobody was around to save him - we can't help but sigh in disappointment. It's just the way it goes.

So read this blog for what it is: a biased resident asking the public to remember that bad things happen to good people.

All the time.

Vaccinate your kids. And stay out of your front yard unless absolutely necessary.

post signature

I'm back!

2011-03-03T07:00:00.002-05:00

Wow. It's finally March. I'm finally done with PICU and wards (and night float before that). It's amazing how when your job gets the best of you, you just put yourself into survival mode and do the best you can. But I think I'm out of it. I think. If you're one of my few loyal fans, I've gotten your emails and THANK YOU for caring (LB! You're still out there?!) and for your continued support. I have lots to report, lots to blog about and lots to say. So stay tuned. It's all coming shortly. Right now, my near-one-year-old is needing some breakfast then it's dash off to work in the nursery (all month)!

post signature

I'm here

2011-02-02T06:29:00.002-05:00

But barely. It's all about prioritizing. My apologies. If you're checking the blog regularly, thanks for your loyalty and I'll make it my goal to write a good blog post soonish. Keep checking!

post signature

Who stole the Peninsula?

2011-01-25T17:43:00.002-05:00

Don't mind the blog title, I'm just losing my mind and it's a little bit of delirium talking. It's a quote from the movie, "6 days, 7 nights". EXTREMELY cute movie, one of my faves. I highly recommend it.

As an update. I'm dying. I mean, I have had my behind handed to me on a platter this month in the ICU. Do I always say that? I thinK I do. It's been fun as a heck though, and I've TRULY enjoyed it, but as a result, I've gotten CRAZY sick (hello laryngitis, bronchitis and every other "itis") , have barely seen my daughter (*sobs*) - though those few daily moments are so unbelievably appreciated and prized - have not had the chance to KEEP ANY OF MY RESOLUTIONS and overall, I'm hating 2011 so far.

*sigH*

It's been nuts. NUTS.

My good deed of the week, by the way, is to be a super nice driver for 24 hours. That means to let people in front of me, to let people turn first, blah blah blah. All the stuff my inner crazy city driver won't let me normally do. But I wanna be nice. So I'm gonna try.

That's all I have time to blog about! But have so much more to report. *cough, hack*

TTYS!

post signature

Deed of the Week #1

2011-01-16T15:51:00.002-05:00

Have a bazillion new year's resolutions for 2011. And they all fall into these little categories of life. But the overall theme is being a better person. Overall. In every aspect of life. So am doing one nice thing/deed per week. It's like an experiment. The goal being to do different things and see the reactions that ensue. Am open to suggestion too, by the way. So if you guys think of anything, pass it along.

So am currently finishing up my first "deed". It's really not anything that will make the world a better place but it was a personal quest. Are you noticing anything different about the writing on the blog today? The thing is, am not using the words "I" or "me" for 24 hours. That's the deed. Have decided that those two words are somewhat evil and the reason for many bad things in the world. Domination, conquest, cruelty - they all have a common theme: people get selfish and when that happens, other people suffer as a consequence. Whenever people start saying, "me, me, me, my, my, my , I, I, I", things start to get ...well, gross. Wouldn't you say?

It's noticed every day. Look around you. The last time you got frustrated, did it have anything to do with someone else being selfish? The last time you got into it with somebody, were you being selfish too? Think about it.

So the deed started this morning. Have resolved not to say "I" and "me" in person. Some things have been a little harder than others (that's what she said). Every day conversation is easy:

Person: How are you today?
Answer: Great! Yourself?

Person: Can you write this for me?
Answer: Of course! (Sure!) (Definitely!)

Person: What do you want for lunch?
Answer: A club sandwich please.

And it seems like all those answers are more appropriate anyway, no? The part where it gets tricky is when you have to tell a story or detail something that happened to you. Am sure people think am nuts today but what are you gonna do. Something like:

"Well, then he said this and so the answer was ' Are you kidding?'"
"Wait, who's answer was that?"
" Uh...the answer...."
"Who's? Yours?"
"yeah! Exactly"
"ooooookaaaaay....."
"The thing is, am trying not to say the words I and me today, except that I just did, crap!".

And then a strange look results but it seems to make a lot more sense after that.

So that's the first deed. If you plan on trying it, would recommend only an hour or two because it's rough and people will think you're a little "off". But the point of the exercise is to become a little more aware of how often you're thinking about yourself and how often you're thinking about others. If you give it a whirl, let the blog know what happens, kay?

CIAO FOR NOW!

post signature

No wait! I really resolve to...

2011-01-12T14:34:00.002-05:00

Okay. How ridiculous am I? I started 2011 with this intent to blog much more regularly and already, I've fallen off the wagon. But it's not my fault (it never is - right?). I'm in the PICU and I feel like I barely have enough time to scratch my nose sometimes. It's just how it goes. As far as the rest of the year goes though, I've got another month of "hardcore" (in February) when I do Hospital Wards and after that ...things will be a little more doable and my schedule will allow for more non-work related endeavours.

But I do resolve to blog more. I do!! As a side note (and completely tangential), people suck. Have you noticed that? The ICU always gets me somewhat depressed because of all the sadness and abuse I encounter. People are truly monsters sometimes. I wish I could go into more detail, because I feel as though relaying my experiences and events on this blog would be very cathartic but I am not at liberty to divulge anything on that topic due to confidentiality reasons. So just believe me when I say that people. really. suck. I mean, even last night, my husband turned on the news for 4 minutes and it was long enough for us to see that some dude stabbed some random kid in the parking lot of a McDonald's for NO REASON AT ALL. I proceeded to shut the TV off and remind myself why I don't watch the news anymore: who needs it when your daily life is just as depressing?!

My best friend Andrea asked me how I compartmentalize things so well. The truth is, I don't. Maybe you all THINK I do, but I don't. I shed a very large amount of tears, I get very involved in work , I most always get attached and I fret over things just as much as the next human does. To a certain extent, we (the docs) get jaded. There is definitely an element of that. We share that bond and we always "speak" a certain way when we are relaying things to one another. After seeing "X" amount of cases of child abuse (for example), not much surprises you anymore. But it doesn't mean that it doesn't hurt. Because it does. You're just not surprised. And you internalize a lot.

In other news, and perhaps a little less depressing, is anyone else freaked out about all these birds falling from the sky? I totally am! Is that bad?! Am I a wuss? I just keep thinking about all this 2012 prophecy stuff and I know dead birds isn't exactly a humanity death sentence but .... yeek! How freaky! Not to mention the fact that I recently re-watched 12 Monkeys and that movie ALWAYS messes with my head. Good movie. Bad movie. Great movie. You know?! Have you seen it?

ANYWAY - back to the New Year all that comes along with it. Have you written your resolution list? I have written mine. It is a long list this year. I'll share some of it with you today and some as the days go on...but some is also private. But here goes:

- First off, I resolve to smile more and complain less. I think I do an okay job of that most days but sometimes, I catch myself going on and on and on about the silliest little thing and then I think, "WHY DO I CARE?! And what's wrong with me?!". I wanna be one of those, "be good , do good and good things will come to you" type of people. So I'm not gonna get annoyed at the little things anymore and I'm gonna try to find the upside of most things and overall, I will try and be happier in the NOW.

*pause*

Very , VERY tough resolution. VERY.

*blink blink*

VERY.

- As I mentioned previously, I do really plan to blog more. And I plan to write more. And I plan to be more involved in the writer's community. Because it makes me very happy. And that's what it's all about, no?

- With regard to healthy living, I have given up on P90X. Have I mentioned that already? That program was NOT right for me. I did 30 days or so of P90-owie-ow, and while I truly saw a difference and do recommend it......*ahem*.....I am more of an outdoorsy, sporty, athletics lover (not an at-home video lover). I should have known. But it was still a good experience. 2011 will be all about getting out more and doing more fun and active deeds that don't make you want to kill yourself. As far as food goes, I think I touched on that in my previous post with the French Women Don't Get Fat theory. More of that. Less of the Texas diet. (Sorry. No intentions to offend anyone).

* One thing I also plan on doing is to revisit and revise my resolutions on the first of every month this year. I have divided my resolutions into specific areas (work, home, activities, etc...) and I intend on re-writing them on a monthly basis in order to keep the motivation going and see the progress I've made. I think it will be a good thing.

* Oh!! And as part of being a better person overall, I want to do something "nice" once a week. I'm going to call it the Deed of the Week (or something more original when I'm feeling more original) and I'll be looking for ideas on a weekly basis, kay? I'm going to relay them on this blog too. Things like: making small donations to organizations, giving toys to needy children, helping an elderly person in a parking lot, etc..etc...So if you think of anything, let me know and I'll try to accomplish it then write about it on the blog. Sound good?

And sorry, I have to digress one more time! I had a dream (read: nightmare) last night that all my teeth were crumbling and falling out of my mouth and I couldn't find a dentist. Before I get back to work, can someone PUHLEASE tell me what that means and if I'm doomed??!!!! Horribleness!!

post signature

2011 resolutions

2011-01-04T06:35:00.002-05:00

So my resolution list is LONG! I have things that I want to improve in all aspects of my life, from my personal life, to my professional life, to my health habits etc...For one, I gotta say, I am SOO done with p90x. It was NOT for me. I'm not a sit-at-home-and-work-out type of gal. I'm a go-out and do something active type of gal. I need more tennis, more swimming, more playing in the park with my kid. So that's part one of my resolution. Mind you, I walk upwards of 3 miles a day at work, but I am talking more about cardio. I want to be fit. I want to run 3 miles without losing my breath. I remember the good old days when I used to play competitive tennis. I was in crazy good shape back then. I do intend on starting that back up again someday (as I intend to start playing piano again), but that is not a 2011 resolution. For this year, my health goals are a little more conducive to residency and mainly, I have a lot of professional goals (which I'll likely divulge on this blog at a later date) and a TON of book goals. I'm hoping 2011 will be a big year for Milestones. :)

So from a health aspect....oy. Where to start? The thing is, I'm doing pretty good about eating healthy and whatnot. What's interesting to me is that I just don't crave crappy junk food anymore. Meaning, I'm not loving Texan food. Sorry guys. It's true. Or at least small town Texas food. As a side note, I would like to start taking vitamins and being more conscious of my intake. The thing is, I don't diet. Not anymore anyway. It's not my thing, but I have this outlook on food that I want to share with you. The best dietary book I've EVER READ is French women Don't get fat. If you haven't read this book and are looking for an alternative lifestyle this year , I urge you to read it. It was so absolutely enlightening to me and so true in so many ways. Recall that I lived in France for 7 years of my life and that I truly feel drawn to Paris and it's culture. I find it fascinating that those women eat what we consider to be unhealthy foods (steaks, fries, wines, carbs galore) and are amongst the skinniest women in the world. This book - French Women don't get Fat - completely explains the rationale behind this phenomenon. It was written by a french woman who was skinny all her life until she went to University in (where else?) USA and gained upwards of 20 lbs without knowing how or why. She then moved back to France and reconnected with her french roots and then decided to write a book about it.

Oh shoot! Work calls. To be continued.....

post signature

New Year, new me, new you

2011-01-02T16:18:00.002-05:00

Happy New Year!

Wow. 2011.

Two thousand and eleven people!

Holy crap, right? Why does the year 2000 seem like just yesterday? When we were all planning what we'd do for the start of the new millennium? Now, we blinked and 11 years have passed. Wow. Time REALLY does fly, doesn't it? I mean, I'm a grown up. I'm a grown up, living in a grown up world, doing grown up things, thinking in grown-up ways and raising a non-grown up. When I first started medical school, when young patients would ask me how old I was and I'd retort, "How old do you THINK I am?" , their answer would always be "Fourteen". Something to indicate I was older than them, but still a child. Nowadays, as a doc, they all say "Fifty". I mean, they have no concept of age, obviously, but the point is, I'm closer to their parents' age than I am to theirs. Somehow, in the last 5 years, I've grown up. *small sob* But I'm okay with that. Really, I am. *lip quiver*

Anyway, I flipping LOVE New Year's. I'd say it's one of my favorite holidays. It wasn't always of course, because when we were kids - teenagers and young adults in fact - New Year's was all about the party, the experience, and the monumental midnight kiss. And with such high expectation, the night always ended in total, utter disappointment. How ridiculous it was. But now that I'm an adult and I couldn't care less about that superficial stuff, I see New Year's as just what it is: a new beginning. I get so much joy out of buying a new day-planner, and writing out a new resolutions list, with new goals for the upcoming year. I'd say every year, I accomplish about 50% of my yearly resolutions , which I see as the perfect amount: enough to feel like I accomplished something and with enough overflow to feel like I have something to strive for. Because I have discovered that I am a very ambitious person and without ambition, I'm basically a sitting (and depressed) duck. Thankfully, I married someone with the same outlook on life. And looking at all my close friends, they are all the same too. And if you think I'm not referring to you, I am. Ambition can mean many things. Whether it's getting an extra accreditation in your line of work, hoping to spend more quality time with your family, getting better grades in school or ironing out personality quirks, they are all the same: they prove that you are interested in bettering your life.

All good things.

So as a small digression: I went to Canada. After my hellaceous night float marathon, I finished with a bang and ran away to my homeland, for the first time in....almost 2 years. And it was fantastic. It's amazing how homesick I was, without even realizing it! I didn't do much, was home with my daughter (especially during the latter half of the trip) but got to see so much family and so many friendly faces that I feel re-energized and completely ready to start my New Year off on the right foot. EVEN IF I start my year off in the PICU and start on nights to boot. And EVEN THOUGH I'm told the PICU is full as we speak. Full you guys. FULL. *sigh* But really. I'm ready. *weak smile* But I'd really love it if nobody tried to die in the next week.

But back to the New Year: I also had a few epiphanies, shared them with my husband, who had also had a few epiphanies of his own and then we made combined epiphany planning, which is always a good thing. SO my question to you is: What are your New Year's resolutions? Have you made your list yet? Are you willing to share? What do you want out of 2011? No resolution is too small so here's your task: write a small list, then fold it up and put it in a safe place. Then, in the next year, whenever you feel lost, pull the list out and re-direct yourself. Remind yourself that you only have one shot at this life and before you know it, another 11 years will go by.
Do that and I'll do the same. And we'll share, ok?

Deal?

post signature

Holy

2010-12-19T16:27:00.002-05:00

I'm alive...but barely. Nights have been KILLER at the hospital. I go in, have a horrendous night, tell myself it's the worst night I've ever had, and go back in the next night to do it all over again. I don't really believe in "black clouds" or "white clouds" (the concept that some residents attract good karma and some attract bad) - but now maybe I do. Because every night when I'm not there, the universe just decides to quiet down. When it's ME?! Oh, I can't even go into it. It's hell. That's all.

Anyway, i'm off to work again. Cannot BELIEVE it's nearly Christmas. I'll try to blog again soon but really (between us), fat chance.

FAT.

CHANCE!!

Because all the world's sick children will come to the ER tonight and somehow end up at my doorstep and somehow try to die at some point. I'm losing all my hair. Seriously.

ALL of it.

Sigh.....

post signature

On Friendship

2010-12-06T10:16:00.003-05:00

Every now and then, I feel the need to give my "good friends" talk. Usually, I'll hear of something happening to someone I know, or I'll get wind of some drama that occurred, or perhaps I'll be caught in some myself and it always inspires me to write about what good friends should be. I'm not an expert in this subject matter, I've only been lucky enough (after many years of failure) to have surrounded myself with good people and real friends. For those of you (usually youngsters) who have yet to accomplish this monumental task, I urge you to read this and take it to heart. Because having good friends can make or break your life.

So what is a good friend?

A good friend is someone who loves you, no matter when, no matter what, no matter where. A good friend doesn't compete with you. A good friend wants what's best for you. A good friend does NOT (by any means) play games with you. A good friend means what they say and says what they mean. They don't screw you around or leave you hanging. A good friend is not jealous of you and they never intend to make you jealous. With that being said, nobody's perfect. If the green eyed monster does happen to make an appearance, a good friend will be honest about it and you - as a good friend too - will take it as a compliment. A good friend doesn't throw things in your face. A good friend is always on the same page as you. A good friend will never try to bring you down, keep you down or kick you when you're down. A good friend will not be perfect, but you will not want them to be anyway. A good friend will love you for who you are, but occasionally call you out on your faults. A good friend will have no desire to fight with you, bring drama to your life, give you the silent treatment or give you attitude. Friendship is a constant. It's not a variable.

A good friend doesn't "keep track of things". And inevitably, because of that whole-hearted loving and selfless attitude, everything tends to even out, if you were to really take a good look. A good friend is genuinely happy for you, genuinely sad for you and genuinely excited for you in all the appropriate times. A good friend ALWAYS WANTS TO MAKE IT WORK. If they are wishy-washy, or half-interested, chances are, they aren't a good friend!

And you know what?

It's okay to have not-so-good friends in your life too, as long as you know who they are. There are different friends for different purposes - work friends, work-out friends, dinner friends, email friends, school friends - the list goes on! But not everybody is meant to be a BEST friend. This talk is about BEST friends. The permanent kind. The kind that give you strength and courage and encouragement. The kind that support you and know what's best for you. The kind that love you without ifs, ands, or buts. The kind who are in it for the long haul. The kind that value you and and your friendship and want to keep working at it.

Good friends, are not toxic. Look at the people around you. Look at them. Are any of them toxic? Do you feel like they give you anything positive or is it all negative? If it's all negative, then why pursue the friendship? What's in it for you? If it's more negative than positive, then why not lower their status in your friendship totem-pole? The good thing about friends is that you can choose them! You are not stuck with them. If you are a good person and a good friend, people will inevitably be attracted to you and seek your company. On that note, a good friend doesn't use you. A good friend doesn't abuse you. A good friend doesn't talk badly behind your back. A good friend isn't malicious or ill-willed. A good friend understands when you haven't called in a week but keeps pursuing you because he/she misses you. And you, in return, will do the same for him/her. A good friend will drop everything and anything if you ever say " I need you" , knowing that you will not use that offer willy-nilly. And you, in return, would do the same for her. A good friend, doesn't need to keep reminding you they love you because it will be obvious.

A good friend is priceless. A good friend should be treasured and appreciated. And a good friend would appreciate you too. A good friend doesn't need words or actions.

And finally, a good friend "gets it".

Get it?

post signature

Random Sunday Thoughts

2010-12-05T09:15:00.003-05:00

Christmas is approaching! I love this time of year! And I'm going to Toronto so I may actually get a white Christmas! *crosses fingers* Oh please, let it be. Let it be! Anyway, it's Sunday morning so here are some random thoughts creeping through my brain.

* Parenthood takes a completely different twist when your kid becomes mobile. Is there actually a way to protect them from every bump and bruise they get? If there is, can someone let me know? Every morning, when I go to her room and she greets me standing up in her crib, I'm also greeted by a new "red mark" on random parts of her face (usually her forehead). It's very troublesome!

* What are some of your favourite Christmas movies? I know my husband's family is traditionally in love with A Christmas Story. Personally, I'm alllll about Love Actually around this time of year. If you haven't seen this movie yet, seriously, YOU MUST. It's so cute! National Lampoon's is always good for a chuckle too.

* What are your thoughts on Christmas trees? Real or Fake? I personally grew up doing the 'real' tradition and I love it. I feel like the experience is completely different...but with that being said, I feel so guilty chopping down (and killing) a perfectly good tree every year. But artificial trees are sooo...artificial!

* Who has seen the new Harry Potter film? How was it? Can you believe I still haven't? I guess I never realized the one thing that's has been completely cleared from my schedule since I've had a baby: the movies! I have not gone to the movies in over 8 months. It's a common problem amongst parents, isn't it?

WEll, short post for today! Thanks for tuning in folks!

post signature

You'll have to excuse me, I'm not at my best

2010-12-02T07:21:00.002-05:00

Sorry for the sudden departure in yesterday's blog post. I was at work and thought I had a good 10 minutes to blog but ....well, I didn't!

It's the beginning of a new month here, which in residency land means a new rotation. For me, I have about a week of Forensic Pediatrics (yeah - and I chose it. How nuts am I?!) , followed by two weeks of night shifts at the hospital (and stress levels goes up.......NOW!) , then followed by an entire week off! At which point I am lucky enough to go to my homeland of TORONTO!!!

*doing happy dance*

Seriously you guys, I haven't been home in so long. I feel like a tourist in my own city. There is so much I want to do but I have so little time to do it in. Most importantly though, (well, after drinking Tim Horton's coffee five times a day), I have lots of people to see and lots of catching up to do. Ahem, JL?

It's so funny but when I used to live in Canada, I would occasionally travel to the US and shop till I dropped. I would buy all these brands that do not exist in Canada, from food items to clothes and now? Well it's the complete opposite! I crave to walk in a Roots store! I crave Canadian chocolate and Canadian coffee and Canadian brands..... like President's Choice! I miss my home so much. I have seen quite a few different cities in my lifetime and I can honestly say that Toronto is one of the best cities in the world. Truly, truly, truly. And I'm not just saying that. Can I hear a "hell yeah?".

If you haven't been, you really need to pay a visit to Canada someday. It will surprise you.

Anyway, before I depart, I have to tell you a story. My first case of Forensic Pediatrics involved a one month old who died because their doctor told the parents to leave the baby to sleep in their car seat (because he had a stuffy nose). Turns out, many doctors are telling their patients to sleep in car seats (for reasons such as gastric reflux) and they are unaware that car seats are actually dangerous and can increase the chance of SIDS (Sudden infant death syndrome). Isn't that completely and totally scary?!?!! I'll be honest, I had no clue. I mean, the latest research is revealing that people shouldn't even let their infants fall asleep in their car seat (without supervision) in a simple car ride. Apparently, the sleep position can compromise their airway. *shaking head* I swear. If it's not one thing with medicine, it's another.

Finally, to end on a happy note, and since i'm nostalgic, I'm going to play you a tune I haven't heard since I was in University. It's called Home for a Rest and it's kind of um...PG18 in Canada and PG21 in the USA. So don't watch it if you're under-age. This song is pretty famous in Canada (or used to be anyway, back in my day. *as I put my walking cane down*). My University (Western , WOOP!!!) - the self-proclaimed party school - even went so far as to create their own version of this song. Hm. Suddenly, I wish I were drinking a Moosehead beer in Londonm Ontario while locking arms with a few of my closest friends.

Wow. It's amazing what age will do to you. When I was in college, all I wanted to do was grow up. And now? I look back on those days with such fondness!

Without further delay, here it is.

Ps. If you listen, you have to listen to the WHOLE thing...and pretend like you're 20. OK?

Pps. MP, you'll love this.

post signature

2010-12-01T12:47:00.003-05:00

So I'm back. After a wonderful and much needed vacation, I have transitioned back into the land of the working folk. Dubai (or as I like to call it: Doo-bye), was great. Everytime I go to that city, I discover more and more about it and I realize that it tops my list of places that I like to re-visit. What I like about it the most, is its international cuisine setup. Visiting Dubai is like eating in every country at once. Every nationality from the French, to the Mediterranean, to the Italian, to the Canadian, to the American, to the Asian, to the Indian, to the Middle Eastern is represented (and WELL!) in Dubai. Let's just say that I got my fair share of french pastries, coffees, italian gelato, mediterranean dishes and delices during my two week hiatus there. It was wonderful.

One of the downsides to traveling though is the severe jet-lag that comes along with making a trip halfway around the world. It took me one week to get adjusted to the time difference which was just enough time to have to return and do it all over again back in Texas. Not to mention an 8 month old with the same problem who is falling asleep at the lunch table and bouncing off the walls at 2am. Speaking of which, the trips with here were actually (and surprisingly) good! No ear pain, no crying, no screaming, no nothing! She was extremely well behaved, flirted with all the flight attendants, slept more than half the time both ways and overall, made me a very proud and thankful mom. The new toys helped , as did Tylenol for earache prevention.

oh shoot! Gotta run!!!

post signature

I'm back!!!

2010-11-29T09:25:00.003-05:00

After a wonderfully relaxing (albeit tiring) hiatus, I'm back! Just give me a little while to unpack, settle in and I'll catch you up on everything.

More blogging soon.....

post signature

Gah!

2010-11-14T11:50:00.002-05:00

T-minus 8 hours until my flight!

Like, I can't think of anything else to talk about! *biting my nails* So here's what I've done:

* Bought new toys (thanks JL!)
* Packed enough bottles for a small army
* Packed enough formula for triplets
* Packed a change of clothes (for her and for me - cause you KNOW it will happen! Oh crap...that's what she said.)
* Packed snacks
* Packed emergency "stuff"
* Do they let you take liquid tylenol on flights?
* Packed my stethoscope because one of my residency buddies said people treat you nicer in security if you have a stethoscope! Is that bad?! Are we like... totally horrible? This advice come from the same guy that waves his stethoscope outside his car window whenever a cop starts following him and turns on his lights! Cracks me up!

So I have this gigantic knapsack (think of those ones people take on camping trips), an umbrella stroller, a baby and a baby bjorn. SO here's the mental picture for you. Me, 5 foot 2 (on a good day), with a giant overstuffed camping knapsack, a baby bjorn on my front (with a baby in it, likely. Let's be honest, she is not gonna let me put her down), pushing an empty stroller across the airport. *sigh*

I'm thinking of my trip like a 30 hour hospital shift. I'm just accepting the fact that I will NOT sleep a wink, that it will be crazy difficult and that everything can go wrong, will. I am thinking of worst case scenarios: poop explosions (20 times over), earaches, fussy, inconsolable baby etc....

*hyperventilating*

Okay. Okay....

I can do this. So many moms do sooooo much more on a daily basis! Right?! I mean, I see some mothers walking around malls with three little ones in tow, all so well-behaved and well-mannered...I'm totally in awe of those people. How do they do it?!

Seriously? HOW?!!

I'm off.

Wish me luck.

Ps. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

post signature

Random Friday Thoughts

2010-11-12T07:52:00.003-05:00

Am running late for work but had to comment on a few things...Just because.

*After all this time living in Texas, I can say I'm used to a lot of things. Sayings such as "Bless his heart", or "y'all" have become part of everyday language for me. But , but, there is one thing I just canNOT get used to. Are you ready for it? It's kind of random: chicken for breakfast. For you non-Texans, there is this place called Chick-Fil-A (get it?) in Texas that sells little chicken burger thingies for breakfast. And people LOVE it. Weird. I just can't get used to it. And really, we wonder why there's an obesity problem in North America. Like I think the French would gag at the mere mention of it.

*Thanks to all for the comments on the "kissing scene" in my book. I think your all cast the same vote, so I'll keep it....BUT.....I may tweak it a little.

* I am seriously truly flipping a lid because I have to travel (alone) on a SUPER duper long flight this Sunday with my 8 month old. Like I'm totally scared to bits. If anyone has done this before in the past, please offer me some words of wisdom. Come to think of it, offer me them anyway. I'm pooping bricks here.

* I need a spa day. Like a beautiful, majestic, calming , pampering spa day with a full body massage, mani-pedi, facial, body treatments, steam room, champagne and strawberries ...and chocolate. Are you a spa person? Some people just aren't. I think my perfect vacation would incorporate about 20% of spa time. But that's just me.

* When does Harry Potter come out already?! I'm dying here! Isn't it supposed to be this month?

* Did anyone see Gwyneth Paltrow on the CMA's the other night? You can YouTube it if you didn't. I'm curious to know what you all thought. Question: Why does every actor want to be a singer? Steve Martin was playing the banjo on Austin city limits the other day. I mean, it's like they get bored with one craft and move onto the other...My opinion of Gwyneth was that she didn't suck. That's all I'll give her though. She's not meant to be a singer. And while I applaud her effort (but do I?) , it just left me wondering why she's so gung-ho on establishing herself in that industry.

Random: Was this post full of nothing or what?

I'm off to spend some time with two social workers and go to a Child Advocacy Meeting (hurrah!).

Happy Friday! More blogging soon. Promise. :)

I think.

post signature

Writer's dilemna

2010-11-09T13:01:00.002-05:00

Am working diligently on Milestones 2 (to be referred to from now on as M2) and am finding myself wondering if the content is becoming too "mature" for my audience. Not sure what I'm going to do about that. What are your thoughts when it comes to "kissing scenes" in novels? Yay or nay?

Anyway, I'm on a roll so I'm gonna take this moment and fly with it so this will be a short post. In the meantime, have you seen the trailer for Hall Pass? I'm embedding it below. It looks HILARIOUS. In a , "I have to see this movie NOW" type of way. This movie seems totally up my alley. And LB, if you're still reading this blog, it is totally up OUR alley (fits right in with Stepbrothers, Dumb and Dumber, Grown ups, Along came Polly and all those other goofy movies).

What do you think? Will you be running to see Hall Pass? That part with Applebees made me laugh out loud.

post signature

How many doctors does it take to assemble a humidifier?

2010-11-06T21:14:00.004-04:00

My house really does smell like Vicks now. As do I. I can't get away. And I love it and hate it all at once. *sniff, sniff* Ahhhh.....minty.

Background: Recall that my kid is suffering from daycare-itis. She has been one non-stop booger and diarrhea factory from the minute she crawled into that germ factory.

Tangent: I remember how much I freaked out when I realized that the 10 babies in her daycare room share chew toys. Sure, regular folk just look at those toys and think, 'Yay! My kid will learn to share!'. But me? My thought process is more along the lines of, "If any of you little snotty rugrats gives my kid herpes, I will crash your prom in 18 years, eat your corsage and give your date a noogie". That's what I'm thinking.

Anyway, so my kid is sick. Has been for a while. It's a waxing and waning roller-coaster of an experience that has literally made me mentally ill and slightly disturbed. I just want my kid to be healthy. I mean, all parents do, I know - but I want it THE MOST. Okay?!

So tonight, when she started having stridor, I immediately did the Pediatrician thing and thought of the worst case scenario: croup. I casually mentioned to my husband that croup is going around at the hospital.

His response? "Should we go to the ER?"

My answer? "Not yet. But we need to get a humidifier, like ....yesterday".

So we go buy an extra humidifier to install at my in-laws house (we're crashing at their place this weekend). Based on some subliminal message, I bought the Vicks brand, ran home and opened up the box in the hopes of installing that bad-boy within a few minutes.

AN HOUR LATER, I realized I'm stupid. The MD behind my name actually stands for "MOST DUMBEST". And to prove it to you, here is a play-by-play of my stupidity based on the instructions written for this vaporizer unit.

INSTRUCTIONS AND COMMENTARY (in italics):

1- Unravel cord before use. Done. Easy shmeezy. I rock. I'll have this assembled in no time.

2- Fill water container to WATER LEVEL MARKING ON BOWL. Okay. First of all. The part written in cap locks makes me nervous. I'm thinking it's EXTRA IMPORTANT. So I search and search, and search some more. Then I look and look for a water level marking and find none. This is the part where I call my husband.

3- ADD SALT. What?! Salt??? I don't get it. Let me re-read that. FOR TAP WATER OF LOW OR MODERATE MINERAL CONTENT, ADD 4-5 PINCHES OF TABLE SALT. Um, 4-5 pinches? What does that mean? My pinches are much smaller than my husband's pinches. And how in the name of influenza am I supposed to know the mineral content of my water supply?! Who the fudge writes these instructions?!

Could you imagine if we wrote prescriptions like this? "If you have kidneys with good renal wasting capacity, go ahead and mix your amoxicillin with a few butt-cheek pinches of sodium. If not, hold the salt and sprinkle an elbow crease worth of banana flavouring."

Needless to say, I gave up after Step #3 and let the man of the house make sense of it. Next, I giggled as my husband scratched his head and tried to figure out the mineral content of our water supply, finally giving up and asking his mom for help.

Side note: When do I fall into the "all-knowing, all amazing mom" category? When does that honor fall upon me? I thought that 24 hours of labour would instantly raise my IQ by 5-10 points but turns out, my PIR (pregnancy induced retardation) has yet to leave me.

So all in all, thank you Vicks.....for making your humidifier dummy (and doctor) proof.

As a parting gift to this post, let me introduce you non-canadians to a product named Buckley's. It is the worlds best (and most godawful tasting) cough syrup. It tastes SO bad that our commercials have no choice but to pay homage to it. Their slogan is (and I kid you not): "Tastes awful. But it works!".

I miss Buckleys.

And while I'm at it, I miss Canada.....Since I'm on the topic.....have I shown you Americans our most prized commercial? Don't hate me. It's meant to be a joke.

Ps. New survey on the side-bar. Please do participate!

post signature

Oh em GEE!!!

2010-11-03T21:45:00.002-04:00

I've been working (read: procrastinating) on Milestones 2 tonight, and have found myself googling way too many things (and people) I should never have googled. For starters, this girl I went to middle school with is like...so freaking accomplished. I mean, she's basically famous. She was Miss Canada and then first runner up for Miss World. AS IN THE PAGEANTS people. The closest I've ever come to being in a pageant is when I modeled two outfits for my husband (for a wedding) and he said, "You look nice babe". This girl is a political activist and is a singer/song-writer with her own music videos and whatnot.

Phew. Talk about feeling inadequate.

But the subject of this post is not about her, it's about me. Check out what googling MYSELF brought up:

CLICK HERE to see!!

What the heck is that?! Weird...

Have you googled yourself lately?!

post signature

Warning: unprofessionalism ahead

2010-11-03T11:05:00.002-04:00

Sweet mother of pearl. I'm currently sitting in a neonatal conference and I'm so bored I could cry. Not a silent sob but a full-on howling , ugly , snotty cry. Remember when I told you that NICU was not my thing? Yeah, that also includes their record-breakingly boring lecture material. So boring, that I'm blogging from my phone which is an extremely difficult task. I'm risking iphone induced thumb arthritis to blog. Sore and rigid thumbs is a more tempting fate than boredom. please pardon the typos and abbreviations .

Random: why does it smell like vicks vaporub? Maybe I'm dense but I don't see the correlation. Premature babies and vicks? I don't get it.

Once in a while, I'm reminded that I should be listening to this stuff and I tune in long enough to be totally confused. Are they lecturing about one topic or do they keep jumping topics to confuse me. Hm. The lecturer just said residents suck at intubations. UM DUH!!!!! You can't be good at something you never do! That's all the listening I can do for now. Everyone seems bored. Not just me. I find myself wondering if the guy two rows ahead is applying vicks vaporub under his nostrils to keep awake. Speaking of vickvaporub, that stuff is awesome but horrible and completely useless all at once. Have you ever noticed that? It's a product I can't live without but I'm pretty sure it doesn't actually do anything. My daughter, who has daycare-itis is becoming very friendly with the three products she can use: nasal saline spray, bulb booger suction and vicks. (wait, do *I* smell like vicks????). It stinks having a sick kid. Have you tried the nasal saline and bulb suction ordeal? It's quite the obstacle. I'd equate it to wrestling with a wild boar. Except that the boar has extremely great hand coordination. One hand grabs your one hand, the other grabs your other hand and suddenly you find yourself double arm-wrestling your own kid. It's good times.

Time to tune in. The slide reads: "say NO to nitric oxide". Get it? Oh sweet lord. NICU humour. Kill me. Can I just say NO to this lecture? Ok contemplating wetting my pants as a strategic solution for escaping this tragic fate. My friend, sitting three seats down looks like she's playing a game on her iPhone. The other, the nerd, is studying. What does it say about me if I'm the one blogging? Not much, I'm afraid ; it's the only way I can distract myself from yelling out "that's what she said!!!!" inappropriately.

Lecturer: I don't know what it does.
Me: that's what she said.

Lecturer: luckily, I have a picture I keep looking at.
Me: that's what she said.

Lecturer: there is nothing I can help with. I'm stuck.
Me: that's what she said!!!

Lecturer: I saw the diaphragm was getting closer to the groin.
Me: (I can't. It's too easy).

Update: One of my friends just escaped. I wonder if I should just do the same. Sadly, my phone is running out of battery so I'll have to find an alternate method of entertainment.

Random: I suddenly want sushi.

post signature

The CPS worker

2010-11-02T10:51:00.002-04:00

Well Happy Halloween!! And a belated happy birthday to myself. I have now crossed over (officially) into adult land. I am the proud mother of a 7 month old, I have long since kissed my 20's goodbye (*silent sob*) and feel like a grown up in every possible way. I can't stay up too late, I get tipsy after 2 glasses of wine, I look at teenagers and think "you poor baby", I got made fun of when I put TEMPORARY pink highlites in my hair and when I ask my patients how old they think I am, they always say "fifty".

Bottom line: I'm old.

But it's okay. This old gal dressed up her little one in a bumblebee outfit on Halloween and had a heck of a time taking pictures. This old gal is working diligently on book 2 of milestones, in order to meet a deadline in a few weeks so that my loyal fans (all three of you) can look forward to reading what happens to Faye and her friends. This old gal is LOVING the fall and wishing she were in Canada to see the leaves changing colours (and I'll spell that the Canadian way thank you very much). This old gal is on a great rotation this month and is loving that I'm getting paid for it. This old gal is also going away on a trip very soon and is extremely nervous at the thought of being on a 15 hour flight alone with a 7 month old (yikes!). This old gal is also officially going to Toronto in December so JL and RS, I want to see you!! This old gal also spent half a day with a CPS worker the other day and found it also to be extremely enlightening and eye-opening.

As a rule, we Pedi Docs work very closely with CPS. This area, for some odd reason is the child abuse capital of America so it's a little more pronounced here but in general, we stay in close contact with CPS. So it wasn't a surprise to me that I was mandated to spend some time with one of their workers. In that time slot, we visited three homes to follow up on some open CPS cases. Two of the families were not home but the third mother WAS and her story was basically that she smoked marijuana while pregnant and continues to do drugs now, even with a 10 month old at home. She's 20 years old, in case you were wondering (cue me saying: "you poor baby").

Some notes , from my day-in-the-life-of-a CPS worker:

* These people are over-worked. There are 10 people doing the jobs that 45 people should be doing.
* The turnover is extremely high in this line of work (probably cause it's so darn depressing and negative).
* There are too many flaws in the system: if a CPS worker quits their job, that case is left unfinished and often, the perpetrators win by default.
* The job entails unexpected home visits and most times, nobody is home and therefore the worker ends up wasting their entire day driving around with no outcome. It's a huge waste of resources.
* Child abuse is most often done in the form of neglect.
* They should give people a license before allowing them to reproduce.

That last one probably seems harsh but it's a common thought from those who are a little more jaded (like moi). Why is the process so difficult when attempting to foster or adopt a child but yet, anyone with a uterus is allowed to reproduce at their own free will, regardless of whether or not they are actually FIT to do so? When someone is incarcerated or has abused 3 children in the past, is it fair for the fourth unborn child to be handed to her just because she made her?

It's all ethical, I suppose.

What are your thoughts on the topic?

post signature

The special needs children

2010-10-30T09:43:00.003-04:00

The rotation I've just begun is called "Community Health". It's a little unconventional in the sense that we are given a set list of tasks to accomplish for the month. Such tasks include witnessing SANE examinations, spending a half a day at a pharmacy, spending a day with a Pediatric dentist, spending a half-day with a CPS worker and most recently, spending some time in the home of a child with special needs.

At first, my attitude was pretty poor regarding this rotation. I was of the "what a pain in my behind" persuasion, as I scheduled all the different tasks I was set to accomplish for the month. But I quickly changed my tune. Every single one of these experiences, however transient they may be, is affecting my outlook on life and profoundly making an impact on me.

Most recently, I visited the home of a special needs child. His mother welcomed me into her home, sat me down on her couch and introduced me to her friend: yet another mother of a special needs child. Not knowing what to expect, I politely sat down and waited silently as they gathered their information. Then, they began talking. Both of them relayed their stories to me; the way they recognized that their babies were different, what was done about it, what their reactions were when they found out, how their life changed and how difficult it was for them to adjust to this new reality and how challenging it continues to be on a daily basis. I felt like an intruder into their personal lives, yet they continued to share their most intimate details with me - in the hopes of educating me, as a physician, who would later be taking care of these families. They spoke about their daily battles, their daily heartaches, their hopes to be like normal families. They explained the toll these diagnoses had on their marriages, their relationships and worst of all, their finances. They explained that they both made too much money to qualify for government assistance but that the amount of money they made was not enough to save them from bankruptcy. When you have a wheelchair that costs $27,000 and your insurance company pays $6000 ... you inevitably end up finding yourself with only one choice: quit your job and apply for medicaid; an action that humbled them both significantly.

To be brief, one of the children had a rare chromosomal condition that caused mental retardation, developmental delay, autistic behaviours and aggressive tendencies , whilst the other was diagnosed with autism around 5 years of age. They took me on a tour of their home, showing me the equipment they have to use on a daily basis and giving me a glimpse into their daily routine. I was quite amazed to see the shelf-full of medicine. It's one thing to prescribe it, it's a whole other thing to see it in person.

Overall, the entire experience was life-altering and I found myself wishing everyone in the world could spend a half-day like I did. For starters, we'd all think twice before complaining....about anything. It's easy to think we all have problems, but the relativity of that concept is difficult to comprehend until you've seen it first hand. Here are these warrior people , who have been robbed of the opportunity of having a "normal" family life, who will never play baseball with their sons, who can never go to a restaurant without a significant ordeal taking place, without people giving them dirty looks and who, probably worst of all - have to deal with their children being aggressive towards them on a daily basis. Their reward for raising these children lies not in the conventional -the hugs, the kisses, the love and affection- but within themselves. It's sad. And we all need to count our blessings.

On a lighter note, I'm attaching two of my recent favorite Sesame Street videos. The first, a spoof of the old spice commercial, courtesy of Grover. I've seen this a million times and I still laugh my butt off at the mere thought of it. The "moo" part at the end kills me. The second video, a guest spot by Ricky Gervais where he sings a lullaby to Elmo. Also quite amusing.

Oh and finally!! DID YOU SEE THE SOUND OF MUSIC REUNION ON OPRAH THE OTHER DAY?! If not, you can find it on YouTube. I am now completely committed to watching the movie from start to finish. Here's a little more nostalgia...God I love that movie.

post signature

The SANE exam

2010-10-27T08:20:00.002-04:00

Disclaimer: Some information in this blog has been adjusted and modified in order to preserve confidentiality.

As part of one of our rotations, we are required to witness SANE examinations, performed by SANE a nurse. SANE, stands for Sexual Assault Nurse Examiner. It is basically performed when people confess they have been assaulted sexually and/or when there is a question of this occurence.

Several days ago, I participated in my first SANE exam. The appointment was at 11am and the nurse and I waited patiently in the examination room. Had I taken a closer look around at that point, I probably would have been better prepared for what was to come but as it goes quite often, I had my blinders on. I call them my resident blinders. The ones that don't want to see the realities of the world because it will interfere with getting the job done. Those blinders, are quite flimsy, as you have probably noted from my previous posts.

At 11:04, there was a knock on the door. I was mentally prepared for the teenager to waltz in. I had it all planned out in my mind: like an episode from CSI, she'd walk in, reluctant to share and reserved. After several minutes of coaxing, she would confess and we would examine her and then promise her she'd be safe from harm in the future. Beautiful ending. Instead, the carpet got pulled out from under me within seconds. Because it was not a teenager who walked in, but rather a young and beautiful little girl. Without hesitation she blurted out, "Where are the coloring bookses?"

I immediately guestimated her age: no more than four. A lump formed rather instinctively in my throat. Suddenly, I didn't want to be there anymore. The SANE nurse asked her to sit down, provided her with toys, books and crayons and began creating a rapport with her. She was clearly a professional. Meanwhile, I looked at the child, sadly, from head to toe, thinking how sorry I felt for her innocent soul to be in this predicament. Who in their right mind would ever harm this beautiful child? She was bi-racial, having definitely grasped the most exquisite features from her parents. With golden brown hair, big green eyes and cafe-au-lait colored skin, she was perfect. The universal definition of perfect.

Several minutes later, after the comfort level had settled down, the nurse was showing her a drawing of a baby.

"What's this?" she asked pointing to a body part.
"His nose," she said.
"And this?"
"His foots."
"And what do you call this, right here?"

The girl didn't answer.

"Anything you like. What do you call this , right here?"
"His body part," she said with a shy smile on her face, referring to his privates.

"Has anyone ever touched you in your body parts?" She didn't answer. "You know you're very special," the nurse continued. "You know you can tell me anything in the whole world and it will be our secret. Has anyone asked you not to tell me stuff today?"

Reluctantly, she nodded her head, unwilling to make any sort of eye contact. I felt sick to my stomach, noting that I was having trouble making eye contact too.

"Who told you not to tell me stuff?"

"My mommy," she whispered.

"And what did your mommy say, exactly?"

From that question came the information I wish I hadn't known. Correction: from there came the information I wish didn't exist. This child had been assaulted , yes, by none other than a trusted individual. Isn't that how it often goes? Unfortunately, she was too young to understand the repercussions of the abuse and had never been wise enough to say "no" when it was prudent.

The good news was - if there can be any in a sick situation such as this - in my mind, I feel as though she was still somewhat innocent. She left the room without much of an idea of what had just happened and why she was being questioned and examined. It was me who had changed after the encounter. As I always do. Every patient somehow manages to change me. It is the curse of medicine. No matter how much you want NOT to feel, you inevitably do, and in the end, you stare at your reflection, unsure of who you are and what you stand for. You'd be surprised at how much sadness and cruelty goes on in our world. Most of us live in bubbles, I know I did, content with the notion that ugliness is only on television...but it's not . Ugliness is next door. You just need to look closer.

Why did I feel as though it was okay when I anticipated the patient to be older? Child abuse is never okay. But why did I have an easier time swallowing it before I knew how old she was? Why was I able to detach myself before I met her?

I still don't know those answers. I doubt any of us do. Until the next time, I'll put my blinders back on , because it's the only way I know how to live.

post signature

Update

2010-10-25T10:04:00.001-04:00

Turns out, a sodium of 199 is not compatible with life. That 12 month old died this weekend.

post signature

Musings of a Second Year Pediatric Resident

2010-10-25T07:10:00.002-04:00

Occasionally, the sadness that accompanies pediatric medicine becomes unbearable. For the most part, taking care of sick kids is a very rewarding field. Most children who end up in the hospital, go on to lead a completely normal life afterwards. Some kids, however, are chronically sick and they are the ones who inevitably end up teaching us adults the most about strength and courage. They are the every day heroes who take their fate in pride and who always have a smile on their face. It's incredible to witness. Other kids, the "freak accidents", basically knock the wind out of you and leave you wondering what the point of life is....if there even is any. They leave you scared and depressed and scarred and damaged, never to be quite the same again.

I have had just about enough of freak accidents. They break my heart and make me sick to my stomach all in one blow. As a Pediatric Resident (who sees this kind of thing on a daily basis), it's hard enough but now? As a mother? It's full-on unbearable. I cannot stand to hear of these stories, let alone be a part of them. I fear that I'll be a horribly over-bearing mother to my child, just because of the things I've seen. How do other doctors do it? How do they parent their children without losing their minds? I find myself wondering WAY to often if she has cancer. And worst of all, I find myself constantly hugging and kissing her, as if she is just temporary. As if all kids eventually succumb to a most horrible fate....eventually.

Some examples.

If it were up to me, you'd never let your child play with a water balloon. Because your 12 year old could hold it in his mouth while running, fall, break the balloon and aspirate a part of the plastic. Meaning, a small piece of the balloon would get stuck in his airway and he'd choke, spend a week in the ICU and eventually die off life support.

A water balloon. Who hasn't played with one of those?

If it were up to me, you'd NEVER (I mean NEVER!) let your toddlers or young children in the front yard. I yell internally at the people on my street every day. Why do people insist on letting their kids run rampant in the driveway and front yard? My neighbours go so far as to put up a plastic SIGN that says "slow children playing" in the road. What is the purpose of a back yard, then? Just for show? I don't get it. You want to know why? Because I've seen just about enough of people backing over their own toddlers in their driveway. Toddlers run after their parents. It's what they do. And in the process of doing that, they get run over and end up with a skull fracture, brain bleed, a million broken bones, in a full body cast and intubated in the ICU. Like a mini human mummy. It's sickening. The 12 month old there right now has a serum sodium level of 199 (normal is 135-145). I don't even know if 199 is compatible with life. I've never seen anything that high before and neither has the Pediatric Nephrologist I'm working with.

All because of letting your little one play in the front yard.

If it were up to me, toddlers would be on a leash whenever they would be in the vicinity of a pool. Especially at grandma's house. Near drowning only means organ-donor to me. That's all I can muster up to say about that.

If it were up to me, toddlers and young children would never be allowed to eat peanuts or popcorn. Is it worth the risk of choking on a small piece and getting pneumonia and a chest tube? I just don't think it is.

If it were up to me.......Gosh, I guess I could go on forever.

Such are the thoughts of a somewhat overwhelmed Pediatric resident. I wish we could all put our children in a protective bubble. It's a wonder we've all made it through our childhood in one piece.

post signature

Something's gotta give

2010-10-19T13:42:00.002-04:00

Hey there. *sniffle, sniffle*

I'm feeling under the weather. *sniffle , cough*. My daughter's got daycare-itis which means that the three of us will be sick for the entire year until her immune system builds up. *cough, cough, gag*

I'll be honest. I can do this whole "balls in the air, juggling act" thing ....up to a point. But when you throw in a bunch of sick people, I call mercy. *sniffle, sniffle, sneeze*. I hate being sick. And I hate taking care of sick people.

*pause*

Okay. That came out wrong since I'm a doctor and all. I guess I hate being a "nurse" to sick people. Does that make more sense? I prefer to be behind the scenes, arm's-length to the booger, snot and diarrhea thing. That's my cup of tea. Not nursing. I honestly don't know how nurses do what they do. *atchoo!*

Ugh. I'm so tired. I'm worn out. I'm pooped. I'm drained. *cough, hack, hack* and I just feel overall crappy. But don't feel bad for me. I'm not out to get your pity. *giving a pitiful face*

I've thought of a million different blog topics in the last little while but honestly, every time I attempted to blog, something came up. Sorry.

I've got a lot going on. I need to re-prioritize my life right now (and get rid of this nagging cough and booger factory I've got going).

*moans*

I feel like crap. Don't you just hate head colds? They suck, don't they? All I want to do is sleep! But all I end up doing is syringe feeding my child pedialyte which, by the way, is the worst thing ever. Have you tasted pedialyte? It tastes like sweat. And the flavoured crap tastes like flavoured sweat. It's gross.

*sneeze*

Okay. That's all I can do for now. Will try to blog again really soon.

*cough, cough, cough, cough, gag, gag, wheeze*

*pant, pant*

Yeah. Ew. :(

post signature

Laughing....laughing....crying....

2010-10-11T12:22:00.003-04:00

You MUST check out this website. It's called MY MOM IS A FOB.

FOB = Fresh of the boat.

Okay, so maybe it's funnier to me because MY mom indeed IS a fob but this website has now entertained me for hours, and has had me rolling on the floor, laughing my knickers off. ROFLMKO, for you youngsters. Basically, people send in funny quotes, texts, pictures, etc.. of their mothers and their mommy-isms.

Check it out!

post signature

What kind of driver are you?

2010-10-10T14:42:00.002-04:00

Do you drive slowly or are you speeder? Do you make other passengers want to throw up from stepping on the breaks too much (ahem! Mr. Hubby)? Do you come to a complete and total stop when you're about to make a right turn? Do you go 40 in a 50 zone? Or do you go 80 in a 50 zone? Does a yellow light mean stop or go to you?

I've come to realize recently that I am most definitely a city driver. I think I zoom in and out of traffic, break frequently and often find myself being impatient with other drivers. This was exponentially amplified when I moved to central Texas. No offense to anyone who lives in this, but AH! I just don't understand why it takes me 15 minutes to get to work when I live only 3 miles away. Well, no, I *do* understand, it just frustrates me , I suppose.

More bloging later...For the time being, I just can't find it in me to write a long one today.

post signature

New month - good month

2010-10-07T07:54:00.002-04:00

The beginning of a new month marks a change in rotation in our residency world. Last month, if you recall, I was in the Neonatal ICU. Without offending anyone...it's NOT my cup of tea. For a variety of reasons that I won't go into right now. Anyway, I made it. Woohoo! It's October. And thank goodness for that because:

A) It's my birthday month (why am I so excited to turn a year older?)
B) It's my daughter's first Halloween (more fun for her parents at this point)
C) I'm on Nephrology (more on that later)
D) The weather is very pleasant

So Nephrology. The study of the kidney and all it's related entities. I LOVE IT. Well, okay, not the kidney per se, I'm not a nephrophile or anything ( I just made that word up), it's more the laid back, chill-type environment I'm digging. And I'm not on any weird kind of call (no 30 hour shifts, no 24 hour shifts! I get 4/5 weekends off this month! Like a normal person!) - it's exciting, right?

And you should know that typically, I don't post about my attendings (for fear of getting fired) but I'm working with one right now who deserves some serious homage. First of all, he's British. From Liverpool , I think. So he's probably the only man in the entire world that has a half-english half-texan accent. It's quite amusing.

Second of all, (and probably most importantly), he's hilarious. I mean the belly laughs type of hilarious. He has such a great attitude and makes his patients, patients' parents and everyone around him laugh. He's the only guy I've ever known to write prescriptions for pizza. He's that guy. Third, he lived in Canada for a few years and trained at Sick Kids (I could only dream...). FOURTH - he currently only works part-time and lives the rest of the time in, that's right, HAWAII.

Yeah. Super cool, right? I think that in a way, I want to be this man. Maybe I'll start sporting a fake accent. Reminds me of that Friends episode where Ross pretends he's british in order to captivate his class and calm his nerves. Have you seen it?

Youtube won't let me link to the site here but if you want a little giggle, click here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XNLvK0saDVw&feature=related

I just watched it again and giggled. The "Well ELLO Rachol!", kills me.

As I digress , I have to ask: wasn't Friends such a great show? Classic, no?

post signature

Quick post

2010-10-05T07:11:00.002-04:00

Quickie post today as I rush off to work...

* The fall weather is turning out to be lovely down here in Texas. Although, it's also quite confusing for a foreigner like me. Sweater? No sweater? Layers? No layers? Heater? Or A/C? Who can tell?!

* Although this also reminds me of how much I miss the Canadian autumn. You have not LIVED until you've walked around in eastern Canada during the fall time. The smell...Oh the smell! So crisp! And the sound of the leaves crunching beneath your feet. The panoramic and gorgeous multicolored scenery. It's my favorite time of year. Also always reminds me of Halloween and my birthday. I guess now that I've passed the 30 year mark, birthdays can be fun again for 9 years.

* For my friend Mel, who I know reads this from time to time, I have an Office quote: "I was probed by an Alien Life Force. A,L,F.....ALF. I was probed by ALF". Like where was Steve Carell for the first 40 years of his life and why wasn't he famous sooner? For my other readers, if you don't watch The Office yet, can I ask why?

* I have to confess that I'm really digging the Pumpkin Spice Latte at Starbucks. I'm trying not to go bankrupt by buying one every day.

* Speaking of coffee, I SO MISS Tim Horton's. And not the ground coffee that I can make at home - I mean, the coffee they make at the store. The medium double double, specifically. And a couple of timbits too please. For my non-Canadian readers, Tim Horton's is the main coffee place up in Canada. They are the bomb. They custom make your coffee JUST right and.....*pause* I think I just dated myself by using the expression "the bomb". Does the current teenage generation even know what that means?

Gotta run, more to come later....Check out the new poll on the side bar!

post signature

Medical Students

2010-10-02T09:29:00.004-04:00

I had to have a serious talk with a medical student the other day. It was very difficult for me and I'm pretty sure it was the first time I'd done anything like that. For the most part, I'm pretty laid back when it comes to medical students. I remember very clearly what it's like to be one (I was a medical student only 1.5 years ago!) - and I have a lot of sympathy for them. Being a med student isn't easy. You're at the bottom of the totem pole, you don't get paid to work and people only care about you for the wrong reasons. You are rarely respected. Life goes on with or without you. With that being said, your responsibilities are minimal and therefore, you should always try and do a good job. Which is why, I suppose, I have a low tolerance for mediocrity when it comes to med students.

This particular medical student was a "toe-stepper" as I like to put it. Whether or not she did it on purpose (she states she didn't), she had a knack for putting her superiors down in her quest for excellence. I use that word loosely. I decided early on in the month, when she did things I didn't approve of that I would just step back and minimize my contact with her. But as the month continued, things escalated and I became more and more aggravated and frankly, shocked. So I finally had a talk with her in the hopes of making a difference in the train-wreck. Did it go well? No. Not at all. I felt awful and hated that I was put in that position. Worst of all though, it didn't make a difference.

To me, there are certain things you don't do and there are certain things you DO do (flashback of Chandler from Friends as I use that expression). And it goes something like this:

Medical Student DO's and Don'ts:

1- DON'T step on a resident's toes in order to look good to the attendings. Chances are, the resident's opinion and evaluation counts more towards your final grade. And honestly? People notice these things and it will NOT get you ahead.

2- DO show an interest in every rotation, whether you want to do that as your chosen career or not.

3- DON'T lie when asked what your future specialty will be. You will gain more respect if you're honest but still continue to try hard. I know that only 1/10 medical students will want to seriously consider Pediatrics. It's the ones that don't want to do it, and still put an effort into learning that will impress me the most.

4- DON'T fall asleep. EVER!!! It boggles my mind at how many medical students think it's okay to doze off during rounds, or lecture or whatever or wherever. Drink coffee, slap yourself in the face, I don't care. This is such a big no-no. Ever. Trust me when I say that the residents are more tired than you are. If we can stay awake and alert 30 hours at a time, 80 hours/week, then you seriously have NO excuse. None.

5- DO be respectful towards your residents. AFter all, I'm sorry to say that this entire game is a hierarchical one. If you're in the medical field, you should know this. At work, I respect my upper-level residents and by proxy, respect my attendings and so on and so forth, whether they are my friends or not. It's just the way it goes. By this, I specifically mean that THEY GO FIRST. No matter when, no matter what.

6- DO ask questions and answer questions when asked, but be careful of how you do it. Many students think they have to talk, ALL the time. This is not the case. We notice the subtle things, there's no reason to build yourself up all the time.

7- DON'T be late. DON'T ask to leave early. DON'T go MIA. For me, if you don't do those things, chance are, you'll get to arrive late, leave early and take long breaks. I won't keep you for no reason.

8- DON't suck up. It's so obvious and it will get you nowhere.

9- DO work well in team environment. I don't care if you scored 99% percentile on your boards - if you can't work well in a team, I won't want you as a colleague later on. It's simple.

10- DO know your place.

11- DO be proactive. The best medical students are the ones who do things without being asked. Listen and be aware of tasks that need to be done and if you can assist, DO so!

12- This is going to sound mean, and God forgive me for saying it out loud but DON'T be annoying. If you've gotten this far, chances are, you're intelligent. So try to have some degree of self-awareness and self-reflection. "If I do this, and I get THIS reaction, maybe I shouldn't do it anymore". That kind of thing.

It seems self-explanatory, but so many medical students fail these cardinal rules. They are disrespectful towards others, don't know their place, throw elbows to get ahead and then wonder why they have trouble matching into a residency. Fortunately, it's not all about grades at this point. Word?

Since we're on the topic, I must put a link to my ALL TIME FAVORITE medical student video. I think some students at the University of Alberta in Canada (woop!) made this video about a heart condition called "Wenckebach". It's a heart block, basically. I'm not sure why they made this video (it's to the tune of "I'm bringing sexy back" , by JT), but I'm so glad they did. I'm also not sure if you have to be in the medical field to "get it", but I know that to me, and to all my work friends, this video has us on the floor laughing from the very first verse. It's medical humer (get it?) at its best. Oh P wave....My PR interval is elongaaate....
HAHA!

LOVE. IT.

Enjoy!

post signature

Angus, Thongs and Full-frontal Snogging

2010-10-01T07:41:00.003-04:00

What is it? A movie. Well, a movie adapted from a teeny-bopper book. As a aspiring YA novelist, I find myself constantly reading YA books and getting caught up in all the hoop-la that is the YA industry. Case in point, I'm a pretty big Harry Potter freak, I read the Twilight series, the Hunger Games trilogy, have read a good portion of Sarah Dessen and Susanne Colasanti's respective collections and the list goes on.

Despite all that, I'd not heard of Angus, Thongs and Full-Frontal Snogging. One day, I randomly decided to rent a movie and thought the movie's description looked cute. Perhaps it was the fact that I had no expectations of this movie, but I LOVED IT SO MUCH. So much, that I went and read all the books the next day (and yeah, they can all be read in one day). SO MUCH, that I made my best friend M watch it with me and rewinded parts she didn't catch, just so she'd have the same reactions as me. Let me preface by saying though, that it's total cheese. Emphasis on the CHEESE. Fromage, as we like to say in Canada. I mean, if you're an adult, you need to put your teenager cap on (read: your fromage cap). But if you do, this movie is all kinds of cute.

First of all, it's English. British. Whatever you want to call it. Second, it's basically like (and has been commonly compared to), the teenage version of Bridget Jones (one of my top 5). The main character's name is Georgia and she is your cute-but-not-conventionally-gorgeous, loveable teenager who is constantly trying to better herself (a-la self-tanning gone very wrong) and whose main goal in life, is to find a boyfriend. A sex god, as she likes to put it. Are you laughing? I am. I doubt she even knows what sex REALLY is (which makes it that much funnier). Anyway, when a new boy moves into town, she makes it her mission to make a boyfriend out of him. Here's the trailer, in case you're interested.

So cute, right? And more than anything, I think I fell in love with their terminology. Expressions like, "She's from vulgaria!", and "I've gone all jelloid," kept me chuckling to myself the entire time. If you're into this sort of thing, I totally recommend it. And oh - I know the name is a little confusing (a lot confusing if you're my mom who just refers to it as the "underwear movie"), but it makes sense once you watch the movie.

On a very different note though, I have been on a Sound of Music kick lately....probably for the last 30 years, actually. I have to confess that this is one of my ALL TIME favorite movies. I basically know the entire thing by heart. And I absolutely adore Julie Andrews which is why I could never watch the broadway musical version of this movie. The combination of Andrews and Plummer is too permanent for me and no other couple could ever do it justice. Unfortunately, I can't seem to find my favorite musical clip from the movie - you know which one? The one at the concert where all they sing is "Tea with Jam and Bread" over and over? Jam and bread, tea with jam, jam and bread, bing bong!

So , instead, here's another classic (cuckoo, cuckoo....). It's my mission to have you singing today.

post signature

Phew

2010-09-24T17:00:00.003-04:00

Gosh, where do I start? I have so much to tell you.

I guess I'll start with the most important thing: my daughter was sick.

Not just your typical *cough-cough*-I'm-not-well sick, but a full-fledged, we-had-to-take-a-trip-to-the-ER sick. She's six months old and she gave us quite a scare. Thankfully, (knock on wood), I think she's okay and I think we're okay too. But I can honestly say that I don't know. I don't think I've ever said "I don't know" as much as I have since I've become a mother. It's amazing how cloudy things become and how quickly you lose all common sense. It doesn't matter that we're both doctors. It doesn't matter. We're parents first. And as first time parents, we just don't know. I mean, have you ever noticed how many noises babies make? All these weird grunting, gagging, choking, coughing, gasping, breathing noises? A lot.

A lot!

My husband and I constantly find ourselves going: what is that? Is that normal? And I outright REFUSE to be a doctor to my daughter. I mean, it goes so far that I refuse to even acknowledge that I know certain things.

When I'm speaking to the doctor, for instance, I could say, "She projectile vomited, choked on her vomitus, then likely had a vasovagal reponse, became unresponsive and lethargic for 10 minutes and recovered spontaneously", but I choose not to. I choose to speak mommy-talk which sounds a lot more like, "Holy crap. She was fine one minute and completely passed out the next! She was limp and I couldn't wake her up!" Because I need the doctor to tell ME what really happened. And because, as my good friend put it, I'm a mother first, a pediatrician second. And because, as my smart husband put it, you can't be a good parent and a good doctor simultaneously; one will always suffer. And it's so true.

As a side note: here is A BIG THANK YOU to my residency family, you all know who you are and I heart you all very much. Thank you for seeing me at my worst and for flying in like superheroes and rescuing us. I'm truly blessed to know you all. For those of you just tuning in, I'm sorry if you had no idea, but I promise you that it was unintentional, and please understand that the LAST thing on a person's mind when their child is sick is making sure everyone around them is in the know. Regardless, I think we're out of the woods now, and I hope we will be back to a semi-normal life quite soon.

To add insult to injury, I really have a major hate-on for Similac right now. In the midst of my daughter becoming sick , they decided that they wanted to recall all their dry formula because of beetle parts (and larvae) that apparently made it into their products.

REALLY?!

Beetle parts? REALLY??

In this day and age, with all those quality checks and whatnot? Beetle larvae and beetle parts???!

I mean, here I was, already feeling somewhat guilty for starting to wean off breastmilk because my schedule/life is not conducive to pumping every 3-5 hours, and I'd felt like I'd done a decent job of breastfeeding her for six months but then THIS had to happen. Similac basically made me go, "THIS IS WHY THEY SAY BREAST IS BEST!" (and I'm not hardcore pro-breast, trust me, I'm pro-healthy-baby-overall). So we had the added stress of trying to feed a child (who already didn't want to eat), a NEW formula, that she wasn't too keen on. Good times.

So this is me, officially telling Similac to beat it.

And officially, to my readers, I apologize for my MIA status but like I said, the last thing on a person's mind when their kid is sick is other people but since she's doing better, we'll be back to regular blogging now. I still have a few topics from last week I want to blog about. For now, I'm concentrating on getting back into the swing of things and not freaking out at every little thing my daughter does. Case in point: as I was out at a restaurant yesterday , someone made a comment about a beetle having crawled into my daughter's diaper as she was sitting in a high chair. Prior to her illness, I think I would have nonchalantly taken a peak in her diaper and gotten over it pretty quickly. This time around, I immediately snapped : "That's not funny!" , grabbed my kid and made a beeline for the bathroom where I quickly undressed her and ensured that the beetle hadn't crawled into her ...well, bottom.

I know. I'm a nut.

But I wasn't always a nut. I'm just a recovering nut.

In the meantime, how have YOU been? Thanks for taking the time to fill out my poll on the side bar. A new one will be posted up shortly!

post signature

Updates

2010-09-21T14:18:00.003-04:00

Thanks for your thoughts on my most recent posts. It's always a lot of fun to read your comments and I assure you that I read every single one. I also got the MOST ADORABLE email ever last night. Talk about making my day. For anonymity's sake, I've left out the person's name but this is a direct excerpt:

"When is the second book coming out please tell me as soon as u can please email me back I think your first book is amazing and you left it kind of at a cliff hanger. I hav 2 read the second one I am so excited I am gonna hav soooo much trouble waiting I love luv love luv your first book please email me back pleeeeeeeeease"

So I just have to say, reader, that I find you very cute. This is by far one of the sweetest emails EVER and I'm so thrilled that you liked my book so much! Thank you. And I'm sorry I'm torturing you with the cliff hanger but I'll be honest and let you know that it was indeed my intention to do so! To answer your question though, I assure you that I am working VERY hard on book 2 (name is yet to be determined) and now that I've read your email, I will work that much harder. Unfortunately, I don't know the exact release date of the second novel but as soon as I find out, I'll make the announcement right here on this site, deal? It's a little tricky because I'm not writing Milestones 2 in the same way I wrote the first book. I guess I'm just at a different point in my life, so I just write WHAT I can, WHEN I can, whereas with the first book, I just sat down and basically wrote it, from start to finish. But if it makes you feel better, I know exactly what will happen in the second novel so it's just a matter of putting it down on paper (and we are making good progress!).

In the meantime, you can come get your "Milestones fix" right here on this site because I'll soon be blogging more about my book and even doing some blogs from my characters' points of view. I'm thinking about making it a once a week thing. What are your thoughts on that?

In other news, no new snake sightings lately (I know you're all dying to know) , but I'm a lot more jumpy lately. I'll totally see a sock from across the room and jump out of my seat going, "Wassat?!". It's amazing what a near-death experience will do to you. No, I kid of course. But it was still scary.

I'm short on time today but I plan on blogging more very soon. In the meantime, take some time to answer the new poll on the right hand side of the page please.

Thanks and until next time!

post signature

I'm moving back to Canada

2010-09-16T19:50:00.003-04:00

Sonofagun. Ahhhh!!!!!

I can't believe it. Here I was, ready to write this beautiful, deep and meaningful blog post about my work presentation tomorrow and THIS had to happen:

So I'm holding my child and then strapping her into her car seat when I see my husband making some jerky movements in our driveway. I get closer to him to inquire about his behavior and notice he is messing with a snake. That's right. A snake.

Already, you can imagine my reaction. I don't do snakes.

Let me reiterate: I DON'T DO SNAKES.

Come to find out, thanks to a nice neighbour who came to help out (after my voice got progressively louder as I kept asking over and over, "IS IT POISONOUS?") , that yes, it was indeed poisonous. So not only do I have to deal with snakes on my property, IN MY GARAGE (!!!), but a freaking copperhead to boot. What's a copperhead? No bleeping clue, but it is venomous and that's all I need to know. So riddle me this: Why do I live here again? I don't know anymore.

Now, I know many of you readers are actually from Texas and I'm trying to be respectful here, but COME ON!!!! Seriously??! I have to deal with this, like on a regular basis? For real? People live like this? Isn't it a little barbaric? I feel like I'm in the middle of the outback or the amazon or something. I don't get it. I live in a DEVELOPED AREA. Why am I dealing with poisonous snakes?!

People often ask me why people in the north willingly live in such cold weather and so now I ask YOU: Why do you knowingly choose to live in an area where like 3/4 of the world's deadliest animals also live? Eh?

I mean, call me stupid but I'd rather be cold than dead. But that's just me.

In case you can't tell, I'm freaking out. I just cannot believe that this thing was in my garage, just mere feet away from the inside of my HOUSE, where I LIVE and where my family lives. *sigh* Ridiculous. And yeah, the beast is dead. And no, I don't feel better. I mean, I'm sure it has a family. And they are probably in my house (or trying to find a way in). So needless to say, I'm scared. So I'm moving back to Canada.

Ps. Maybe I'll blog about my presentation tomorrow. In the meantime, must. calm. down.

post signature

Letters ...

2010-09-15T15:13:00.002-04:00

Dear Post-Office,

I would love to work for you because it seems you do not work at all. What kind of place opens at 9am and closes at 4pm and breaks for lunch too? How can I ever get anything done like this? Most normal people start work before that, finish work after that and don't GET a break during the day. So tell me. How the heck am I supposed to fill out a passport request if you're never available? Hmm? You and my dentist should get together.

Frustrated,

Samira.
********************************************************************************

Dear M&M maker people,

It's no secret that I love what you do. Plus, you have truly outdone yourself with the new pretzel M&M's. Turns out, I'm not the only person who loves them. I would like to bring to your attention the following emergency: ALL THE STORES ARE OUT OF PRETZEL M&M's. Like everywhere. Trust me, I've looked. Case in point: my friend offered me some of HER pretzel M&M's today at work. I must have looked like I had found a $100 dollar bill. So please, make more pretzel M&M's. They are a dying breed down here in Texas. Everyone is buying them.

Hungry,

Samira.

Ps. No, I'm not pregnant.
************************************************************************************

Dear Steve Carell,

Please please please please don't leave The Office. I am so excited for the new season to begin and even more excited about all these "Holly returns" rumors I've been hearing. But I cannot be excited if I know that you're actually going to leave the show. After Friends ended, I thought I would never look forward to Thursday night television again. But then YOU showed up, with your Michael Scott antics and your absolutely brilliant portrayal of the guy-we'd-love-to-hate but actually hate- to-love. You make everything funny. I hear Michael gets a cold sore this season and discovers cold sores are from herpes infections so he calls all his lovers to let them know he has an STD. Brilliant, brilliant. I'm already laughing. You have to stay. Please don't break my heart.

Hopeful,

Samira.
*********************************************************************************

Dear Mr. P90 Doucheman,

I am your servant now. Ow. Thank you for making me realize that I suck at all things fitness related. Ow. I am on day 7 or something. Ow. Only like 83 more to go. *silent sob*

Painfully,

Samira.

Ps. Please work on my husband. He keeps complaining that his back hurts. I think you scared him off.
************************************************************************************

Dear baby clothes maker people (Gymboree, Osh-kosh, etc...),

PLEASE MAKE CLOTHES FOR PLUS SIZED BABIES. My child's arms will not fit in normal sleeves. This is discrimination. Not all babies are created equal and I am having the hardest time ever getting my kid into anything that isn't a onesie. Some babies have big heads (mine), some have big michelin-man arms (mine), some have chubby edible legs (mine) and some have fat feet (mine!). So the next time you label something 6-9 months, why don't you do more than just ADD to the length, ok? This is getting ridiculous.

Peeved,

Samira.

post signature

P90X - day something

2010-09-14T15:19:00.002-04:00

I have no idea how far into this I am. All I know is that I've passed the point of no return and that I finally understand the concept of this program: EXTREME FITNESS. No really. There are extreme sports and this is extreme fitness. Even the most fit people in the world (THE ENTIRE WORLD!) will struggle with P90X. I'll bet on it. I'm invested now so I must know what happens in the next 90 days. I'm in.

The latest? The ab workout. It's actually called Ab ripper. And I chose to agree with that terminology because it will literally RIP , as in TEAR, your abs apart. Mind you, I don't think I have any abs left after having had an 8 pound child, so that may be part of the problem. But it was in the middle of this particular workout where I went into submission. I felt like one of those dogs in the dog whisperer (I was the dog, Tony Mr. P90 Doucheman was the dog whisperer). I officially called mercy. I will do what he says because clearly, my body cannot do ANYTHING and clearly, it was his mission to prove that to me. I mean, I look at him do most exercises and think that I can do at least a few repetitions but usually, I'm dead wrong. Typically, I do 2, maybe THREE (at most) of an exercise and collapse on the spot. My entire workout routine consists of me swearing and cussing and saying things like:

"OH God, this is hard!"

"I can't do this!"

"Holy crap, I'm dying!"

And queue the "That's what she said" from my husband in the background like clockwork. By the way, I suspect he has dropped out. His back has mysteriously been giving him troubles the last couple of days so he hasn't participated in the workout. And as much as I would like to join him , like I said above, I think I'm in this for the long haul...which means, at least 90 days. I think I'm on day 6. I don't know.

Must run, more to come later....

post signature

Day 2

2010-09-10T21:39:00.006-04:00

Um....what. The. Heck.

What the heck.

I think I may have gotten myself into a place where I don't belong. Recall that I started my P90X journey yesterday. Well, within the first 24 hours of starting the video and blogging about it, I got three emails from two random strangers requesting/offering to be my online "coach".

Which is nice and all but it makes me wonder if people are just sitting there, googling "P90X - Day 1" and emailing all these P90 wannabe people (aka me) - which, begs the question of: why?? One guy even offered to pay me $20 if I link to his page every time I write "P90X" on my blog. I'm serious. It's like an entire P90 community out there. Go figure. I am clearly in way over my head. (So typically me).

The thing is, P90 people, I'm flattered. Really, I am. But I think you have me mistaken with a normal person. A person with a left and a right foot (not two left ones). A person who can roll from her back to her front in one swift motion. Like my 6 month old. SHE is more your person than I am. Or maybe you're looking for a person who when told to "touch your toes", actually does. Not a person who gets past her knees and thinks, "Man! i'm really flexible today!". Clearly, I'm not your gal and TRUST ME when I say that my husband is NOT your guy. *giggle* No no no. Definitely not him either. And I'm not saying that as an invitation to try and convince me. I really just thought this workout regimen would be fun, active and a good segway into a healthier lifestyle. I'm not hardcore. Hell. I'm not even softcore. I'm just core.

And so far, to be honest, I'm not convinced.

Because today, I did day 2 of P owie-ow. And I don't know how one can hypothetically give 100% to a workout routine when the day before (just yesterday people!), I tore all my muscle groups and kicked my own body's butt. I mean, I could barely stand afterwards and here I'm expected to "Bring it" again today. Let's just say, "difficult" doesn't even begin to cut it.

AND CAN I JUST SAY SOMETHING????!!!

After all this, I better (better!) get some results. I don't even know WHAT results I'm hoping for exactly but I better get some! Because this is some hard stuff. And I'm tired! *whines* Mr. P90 Doucheman is really mean!

As a side note, one of my friends killed a rattlesnake in her yard today. Yeah. You all know how I feel about that. Me and snakes don't jive. I don't know what I would do if I saw a rattlesnake. Actually, scratch that. I DO know what I do: I would try and run away screaming, but at this rate, I'd freeze because all my muscles are screaming out in pain because of P owie-ow , so the rattlesnake would rattle or hiss or buzz (or whatever noise it is they make) and likely kill me....and so I will be the first victim of P90X.

Well. *proud smile* I just talked my way out of ever having to work out again! Did you buy it? No?

Okay. I'd love to stay and chat some more but really, I still hurt a lot. I need a warm bath or something. Or a full body bengay shower.

Stay classy y'all!

Ps. Tell me. What is the best/worst workout regimen you've ever done?

post signature

P90X - Day 1

2010-09-09T22:23:00.004-04:00

I'm sorry. I made a mistake. The name of this post should have been "P-Owie-Ow - Day Ow!!!!!"

Holy......... crap.

So yesterday, I alluded to the fact that my husband and I were going to start P90X. For those who haven't heard of this workout regimen, don't worry: it was new to me too. P90X is a 90 day challenge , basically. It is a home workout video set that guarantees to put you in the "best shape of your life"....in 90 days. It does not pretend to be a miracle worker. It tells you right from the start that it will be the hardest thing you ever do in your life. It combines things like Yoga, Pilates, Cardio and other stuff to give you a diverse, 90 day workout program. It requires major commitment. And lots of discipline. Apparently.

The motto ("What's a motto?", "Nothing, what's a motto with you?"....Sorry, have you seen the Lion king? Great movie..)....I digress. The P90X motto is : Bring it.

That's right. Try and contain your laughter. It's cheese to the 10th degree. But it's supposed to be the real deal. And so my husband and I decided that it was something we were going to try and embark on together, not to lose weight or anything, but to be in shape....as all people should be. But ESPECIALLY as two professionals who preach about health on a daily basis. So we got an awesome deal on Ebay and decided to give it a go. After a ton of procrastinating (see yesterday's post), we started Day 1 today.

P90X by the way, has a bunch of different levels. From beginner to expert. Just keep that in mind as you read my post, which, by the way, I need you to APPRECIATE because my fingers are sore. Yeah. I think my nails are even sore. I hurts to scratch my nose. This post is taking so long to write! OW! I am totally sacrificing prime "ow"-ness in order to give you something to read. Because in case you haven't picked up on my tone yet, this program is rough.

All I can say is : Oh. My. Muscles.

Every one of them. They hurt. They hurt so bad. Partly because this thing is so difficult to do and partly because I haven't laughed so hard in a long time. It's ridiculous with a capital R!! The first few minutes of stretches, my husband and I were cocky and happy. "THIS is the famous P90X? PFff. We are in AWESOME SHAPE!".

Not so.

Now we know (ow, ow, ow), that P90X is the devil and we are its servants. We are but mere pathetic nonathletic out-of-shape pawns and ow, ow, ow, I can't type anymore. Where was I going with this?

*pause*

Oh god, it hurts.

I should have known I was in trouble when he told me to get down and give him a bunch of weird looking push-ups. Um, I can't even do ONE push-up. I'm bad at even the girlie push-ups. You know, the one where you do it from your knees and bend your legs? Yeah. I can barely do two of THOSE ones. Let alone one-handed push ups with repetitions. This guy (the trainer, whatever his name is....From now on, we'll just refer to him a Mr. P90 Doucheman), is nuts. I mean, he hates fat (and chub, and love handles) and wants to see it die.

But whatever. We are in this, so let's see what happens. Truthfully, we didn't even do the full hour today (are you kidding? We have jobs, a child and I've got a book to write!), but OUR MOTTO IS: working out a little a day is better than never a day. Or right now it's just: Ow, freaking ow...Freaking owie, ow, ow!!!! So we'll see. Right now, I'm missing tennis. Big time.

Okay. Seriously. I have to go. My eyelashes hurt. I'll keep you posted on my progress throughout the next 90 days or so.

Ps. Ow.

post signature

Random Thoughts and update

2010-09-08T18:09:00.006-04:00

*sigh*

Motherhood is strange. Today, I got to leave work early because the daycare called to advise me that there was a "flood warning" in their area. Looking back at my reaction, I can't help but laugh. I ran out of my hospital like a bat out of hell. You would think my child was actually PHYSICALLY floating away in the flood. The entire car ride, I kept telling myself, "You're stupid. She's fine. It's not a real flood. Just a flood WARNING". Yet , I couldn't help my haste. Then, like clockwork, I heard the song, "Paranoid Android" by Radiohead, on the radio. Do you know it? It's a good one. And at the part where he sings, "Rain down on me", I just kept thinking about the irony of the situation. Me. Running to get my kid. Cause of a flood. And rain. Maybe you had to be there.

For old time's sake though, here is a video of the Paranoid Android live (fast forward to the 4:00 minute mark for the "Rain down on me" part). Remember this song? Does it give you nostalgia? It does for me. In a great way.

So back to my story - I then ran inside the daycare, all huffing and puffing, while the staff looked at me in confusion. I tried to force a smile and act normally. I guess I don't need to tell you that I failed miserably. Then I saw her from across the room, ran to her and picked her up. I held onto her for dear life. Then laughed at my idiocy once more. I think I even mouthed, "What the heck is wrong with me?".

Next, as I looked down at the floor where all the infants were playing, I noticed the toys laying on the ground. To an ordinary person, those toys mean nothing. To THIS mom, they were screaming out "Herpes!". Have I mentioned how disturbed I am by the fact that my child is sharing toys with other children? Sharing spit, saliva and all? It's just a set-up for spreading bad infections (like Herpes). Kids die from that, you know. I'm just saying.

Once again, I ask you, "What's wrong with me?"

Because this, my friends, is what goes on in my twisted resident/mommy mind. My poor child doesn't stand a chance.

On a separate note, I have now made full circle with my M&M kick. I am back to plain M&M's and let me tell you, they are delicious. In Canada of course, we eat Smarties. They are like M&M's but better. They have a sweeter taste and a crispier shell.

In other news, my husband and I have made a little goal to be more active. Yup. We've enrolled in the P90X challenge. Of course, we've been procrastinating like heck. Tonight, we finally sat down and watched the intro video (while I ate M&M's and he chowed down on some ice cream - now that is real commitment). I think tomorrow might be the day...Stay tuned. I'll let you know how it goes. I hear it's hell on a stick.

Until then, stay classy!

post signature

Sadness

2010-09-04T00:12:00.005-04:00

You see? I knew it. Just like last year, my nights spent in the NICU are filled with sadness. Some people find this area of Pediatrics very fulfilling and gratifying. They see the glass as half-full. They see all the babies they save, babies that would not have lived 50 or even 30 years ago. We have so many new technologies nowadays that help us save these babies, both preterm and full-term. Most people who work in the NICU , whether it be the nurses, nurse practitioners or neonatologists, see the good side of the neonatal ICU.

Not me.

I see the sad side. I see the glass as half-empty. Neonatologists rarely see these children after they discharge them home. They don't see the mental retardation, the vegetative states, the cerebral palsy and the hellish lives the parents and children end up living. I often do. And therefore, to me, the NICU is all sadness.

Case in point: tonight, a full term baby made its appearance as a transport from another hospital. Mom and Dad's first baby. It's a boy. Apparently, the mom was in labour for some time. Apparently, the baby had abnormal heart rates for over 5 hours. Apparently, the OB physician was notified several times about this occurrence but decided to hold off on any intervention. For hours. Apparently, he also tried a vacuum extraction before finally deciding on a c-section. Needless to say, those may have been poor choices because the baby was born without a heart rate. He required CPR. And then he was transferred urgently to our facility where he lays now, with severe brain and organ injury , fighting for his life.

Worst part is, even if he makes it, which he probably will, he will not be a normal child.

This was a normal baby. A normal pregnancy. And now these people's lives will take a turn for the worse...forever. Think about it for a moment. They were a happy couple, expecting their first child, probably excited to the tee. I've been there before. Picture the scene: do you see their excitement? I'll bet the last thing on their minds was a poor outcome. I'll bet the last thing they anticipated was that bad decisions would be made and that their beautiful, previously healthy baby boy would be in the ICU....likely irreversibly damaged. Having returned from the dead by artificial machines.

Sad, right? It is to me anyway.

Like I said, I focus on the negative. I can't help it.

post signature

Random Thoughts

2010-09-01T21:22:00.002-04:00

* Okay, so my first day of neonatal ICU wasn't that bad but I anticipate tomorrow being worse. Not to sound pessimistic, but...well, it's just that this kind of thing is usually the "calm before the storm" so to speak. So Stay tuned...Plus I'm on night shift this weekend which seems to be where the action is.

* I've recently become addicted to M&M's. Have you tried the new pretzel M&M's? As disgusting as they sound (did to me anyway), they are SO darn good. The perfect balance of salty and sweet. I polished off a bag with ease and have no moved on to peanut butter M&M's. Also tasty. Better than reeses pieces if you ask me. What are your favorite M&M's? Plain? Peanut? Did you know you can get them personalized now at M&M.com?

* My publisher asked me the following question in an email: would I be interested in going to St. Jude and doing a small reading/signing of Milestones #1 ? I read her email and thought, "Does a bear poop in the woods?". Heck yeah, I'm interested!!! St. Judes is a world famous children's hospital and I'm a Pediatric Resident. This is like Disneyland to me. A kid in a candy store, if you will. So VERY VERY exciting stuff. Needless to say, I may have a visit to St. Judes Hospital in my future and I will definitely blog all about it. Milestones is truly the gift that keeps on giving. I would not trade this author experience for anything and although I'll always be a Pediatrician, I don't intend on quitting the writing business anytime soon either.

* Thanks to all those who voted in the side-bar poll. To the one person who liked the coffee blog layout better than this one....Sorry. Like I said, I wouldn't have done anything about it but thanks for your honesty.

* Who is ready for the fall line-up to start back up? Not that I have any time at all for television these days , but I am super excited for The Big Bang Theory and The Office to start back up. One more year of Steve Carell....Do you think they will bring Holly back? Do ya?

Alright, those are all my thoughts for tonight folks! Your thoughts?

post signature

It begins

2010-09-01T06:44:00.002-04:00

Day 1 of the NICU rotation. We are talking about a full month here. A solid four weeks. Yes. I am dreading it to THAT extent. But what doesn't kill you makes you stronger, correct? (*insert sarcasm here*)

In other news, I think you convinced me about the Gerber baby contest. I'll give it a whirl. Now I have the task of picking ONE picture amongst the five thousand we've taken of her over the last 5 months. You also made me realize that EVERY mother thinks her child is the cutest. I knew that, but I guess I didn't realize the extent to which that happens. We all think ours is special, ours is the best, ours stands out from every other baby. But I'll tell you right now ladies (and moms), MINE is THE REAL DEAL.

No, I kid.

I can actually tell you as a pediatric resident, that every child truly is special, adorable, and the best. I see so many babies in the hospital and in the clinic and think to myself, "Wow. Now that is truly the perfect child". Pediatrics is awesome that way. We get paid to look and interact with adorable children and babies. They are so innocent and precocious that it makes our job incredibly fun and entertaining. Even when they are ill.

On another note, this weekend, my husband and I went out of town and did some touring of some model homes (just for fun. Have you ever done that?). At some point, a sales representative came in and began chatting with us. Of course, within minutes, she asked about our professions and became exponentially nicer when she learned we were a pair of docs. The joke was on her though. It's interesting to be reminded of the extent to which people still have misconceptions about this career. Here she thought she was dealing with a couple of rich kids but in fact, she was dealing with an average in-debt couple, who has yet to actually pay into their student loans because we don't make $4000/month each. It was nice to dream though.

What wasn't nice , however, was her commenting that they had a recent mini outbreak of west nile virus in that area and that we should watch out for mosquitoes.

Tell me now.

Short of bathing in bug repellent, how does one "watch out" for mosquitoes. It's like telling someone to watch out for air. It's there. There's NOTHING you can do about it. And I think the paranoia made my blood extra tasty that weekend because I honestly have at least 10 bites that I can count. And I have googled symptoms of west nile virus that many times as well.

SOO. With that being said. If you notice, within the next 2 weeks that I am complaining of ANY SYMPTOM at all, send me a message and make me go get checked out. Not for me, but for my baby. She doesn't deserve a west-nile infested mother.

On that note. I'm off. :) Stay classy!

post signature

Taa-daa!!!!

2010-08-31T07:26:00.003-04:00

And??????

Thoughts?

Do you like?

One thing to note is that I think your browser has to be the most updated version there is. I was using a 3 month old version of internet explorer and I couldn't see the "notebook" that this post is written on. I don't know. It's just the way it is. So to get the FULL effect, make sure you have the most up to date internet browser. I'm using the newest firefox now so that I can "ooooh" and "aahhhh" at my own blog.

Personally, I LOVE it. With a capital L.

And before you get all ga-ga on me, I did not, BY ANY MEANS, design this blog template. This was the fabulous work of Lena at Simply Fabulous Blogs. She designed my last blog look too. All I did was pick the pictures, themes, and direct her on what I wanted. I am extremely (superbly) computer "ratarded" (that, in case you missed it, is a quote from a movie). I mean, when we were emailing back and forth, I was surprised that she could understand me because I don't even know what things are named. I would refer to things as the "frilly, twirly thing at the top of the page" or the "boxy looking thing at the side of the page" and...well, you get the idea.

But do you want to know my contribution to this new look? Take a look to the right of the page.

Go on.

See that little poll there? The one that reads "Do you like the new blog look?"

THAT, was all me you guys.

*proud smile*

That's right. Next thing you know, I'll be splitting the atom.

In other news, today marks the end of my lovely radiology rotation. In our world, we call it radi-holiday because it truly is. It's like a REAL normal job. With lunch and little coffee breaks and everything. And you work from like 7:30am to 5pm! Like normal people out in the normal world! And it was ooooh so nice. I was on cloud nine these last 2 weeks.

As of tomorrow, I work in the neonatal ICU again. Remember that from last year? I think I did it last November. Needless to say, I'm not the biggest fan. But , on the bright side of things, I'm not pregnant this time around so I won't be walking around the halls with my legs tightly crossed trying to prevent my premature baby from falling out from my hoo-ha.

And finally, I have a question to ask you. I need your thoughts on something (other than the new blog look). To give some background, I'm VERY protective of my daughter. I don't allow pictures of her online or on facebook or whatever. Despite the look of things, I'm actually a very private person and I get weirded out by strangers knowing things about me that I didn't deliberately and intentionally divulge. Putting myself out here, in the virtual world, is a product of my desire to make something of this tiny book career. It's not a decision my daughter made so I am attempting to protect her from this in every way possible.

With that being said .... I'm considering entering her in the Gerber baby contest.

I know, right?

Is that bad? Am I like the biggest hypocrite ever? Let me explain though: the only reason I'm even CONSIDERING it (I haven't done it yet, I promise) , is because the grand prize is $25,000 towards a college scholarship. Everyone has a price, right? And apparently mine is 25 grand for my kid's future. So what do you think? Should I just leave it and let her live in my self-made anonymous bubble or should I put her out there, online, for the world to see, for a 1 in a million shot at getting a good chunk of change...with the hopes that everyone will forget her face in a couple of months?

Your thoughts?

post signature

Random Updates

2010-08-30T20:02:00.005-04:00

So my baby's fever turned out to be her first ear infection. I guess I can handle that. I guess. But do you want some insight on the twisted minds of doctor parents? Well, today, when we knew our daughter would have to be taken to the doctor, my husband and I were texting each other back and forth. Here is a snippet of the text conversation we had:

Him: Baby has a temp. I'm worried.
Me: Me too. We need to take her to see the doc.
Him: What do you think it could be?
Me: I don't know.
Him: But why does she have a fever?
Me: I don't know.
Him: But what do YOU tell parents in this situation?
Me: I don't know hubby. Please just ask the doctor. When it comes to our baby, I only think of worst case scenarios.
Him: What's the worst case scenario?
Me: Cancer.

Insert a LOOOOOONG pause between text messages here and finally:

Him: I won't ask anymore. :(

So in a way, it's humorous, right? In a disturbing, cynical way, this conversation may be slightly funny. In another way, you may be thinking how disturbed we are, right? Because we are. Specifically, me actually. But this is what happens when you combine too much knowledge (ignorance really IS bliss) with the crazy, head-over-heels, completely over-the-moon type of love that accompanies having a child. Don't get me wrong - I'm trying VERY hard not to be that mom. But it's a work in progress.

In other news, the new blog makeover is VERY close to being here. I mean, within the next few posts. I hope you like it. And I will want BIG time opinions here (not that I'll be able to do anything about it, but still).

That's all for tonight folks. Questions? ;)

post signature

Quick mini-blog

2010-08-29T22:36:00.004-04:00

My husband is making me blog because he thinks my "fans" are anxious to hear from me (see what I have to put up with?)....but between us, I'm about to pass out on my keyboard. The thing is (here's the thing), my little one is sick with a high temperature and although I have yet to find reason to REALLY be concerned, the fever in itself is enough to make me hover over her like a hawk. So that's what I've been doing all day: hovering.

I know that daycare makes kids get "daycare-itis" (as we docs like to call it) but guess what? Knowing and anticipating this occurrence doesn't exactly make it easier. She's literally been sick since she started going to daycare and it sucks. I don't like it. I guess no mother does.

Wish she wasn't sick. Wish I could protect her somehow. I wish, I wish, I wish.

Must go hover some more.

Till tomorrow....

(There you go hubby. I blogged. The End.)

post signature

The X-terminator

2010-08-26T23:12:00.003-04:00

Several days ago, we had our house and surroundings sprayed with pesticide. My husband very strongly felt that our house welcomed too many bugs and critters and now that he has a daughter, they (the bugs) were not welcome anymore.

So this young guy comes over, sprays the perimeter of the house, then comes indoors and sprays a couple of rooms and is JUST about to leave, when we have the following conversation.

Me: Okay, well, thank you for stopping by!
Him: Not a problem. Please sign here. And here....And here. And sign this form that says that you won't sue us.
Me: Sue you? We specifically asked, like 10 times, if this product is safe for humans, babies and animals.
Him: It is.
Me: So why would I sue you?
Him: Well, it's just that our product has only been around for 7 years.

*silence*

Me: You've gotta be kidding me.
Him: Yeah, but it's okay. I mean, it's just precaution but it's absolutely safe.
Me: How can you know that it's safe if it's only been around for 7 years?
Him: Well, it's a lot less toxic than oven cleaner. I mean, this is only a "caution" product whereas your oven cleaner is a "danger" product.
Me: Sure, but I don't spray my oven cleaner all around my house.
Him: I understand but seriously, don't worry. I've been doing this for years and I'm totally fine. MY BOSS has been doing this for his entire life, over 50 years actually, and he is completely fine too. Except that he lost his memory but that's just from old age.

*blink, blink*

Me: From old age?
Him: Yeah, like all old people.
Me: No, not like all old people. Like Alzheimer's.

*more awkward silence*

Me: Ok, at least... well, confirm for me what we're killing here. Just a few bugs and stuff right?
Him: Right.
Me: And at the risk of hating myself for asking this question, they are all benign, right?
Him: Yeah. Fine as long as they stay in their holes.
Me: Holes?
Him: Yeah, I mean, if you see a brown recluse or a black widow...
Me: Spider???! Around my house???? You are joking right???
Him: *chuckles* Duh!! You live near woods. You have everything here. Spiders, scorpions...
Me: SCORPIONS?????? Omigod, my husband said they only live on dry rock!
Him: Hahaha. Your husband lied to you. But it's okay , really, you shouldn't see them and , well, okay, to be honest, you'll see them more NOW than BEFORE, because we just disrupted their entire ecosystem ...
Me: Oh dear God. So I'm gonna start seeing all these deadly creatures in my house now?
Him: Yeah, but don't worry, they will all be dead or dying.
Me: That doesn't make me feel better. Like at all. In fact, nothing you have said has made me feel better! *nervous laughter*
Him: Ma'am, there's nothing to be afraid of. Don't panic. Actually, all spiders are poisonous.
Me: Um....what?
Him: Yeah. All spiders bite and they are all poisonous. It's just that their venom doesn't hurt most humans. They can hurt babies sometimes....
Me: ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME HERE?

(Actually, insert another word instead of "freaking". I did say it and I said it LOUDLY)

Him: *eyeballing me* You're not from around here are you?
Me: I need to sit down.
Him: Are you okay? You are looking a little pale ma'am.
Me: Yeah. I'm okay. Just give me the paper to sign and go on your way.

post signature

Movie Review: Date night

2010-08-25T20:17:00.002-04:00

In a word: I heart Steve Carell.

Ok, that was four words. But the thing is, that guy is just all kinds of funny to me. And he MAKES the movie. But I'm getting ahead of myself.

Date Night tells the story of a mundane married couple caught in the redundancy of suburban living, somewhere outside of New York City. When they discover that their close friends are getting divorced, they decide to step outside their comfort zone and steal a dinner reservation from another couple, at a hot new NYC restaurant. Turns out, this other couple was in some kind of police/mob/political trouble and next thing they know, Tina Fey and Steve Carell are running around NYC trying not to get killed and running into a shirtless Marky Mark (I'm sorry, I mean Mark Wahlberg) on their "Date Night".

So what did I think? Well, I loved it. I laughed A TON. I also learned something about myself: I find Steve Carell to be insanely hilarious. I mean, all he has to say is "Hi" and I'm on the floor laughing. FOR HOURS. He is truly gifted in the art of humor, don't you think? Come to think of it, I have had a few of these funnyman celebrity gushes. I used to like Jim Carrey a lot. Then Ben Stiller. Also Will Ferrell. But Steve Carell tops them ALL. He makes any movie....just awesome. *gush, gush*

And this was the case with Date Night. Had his role been cast to ANY other actor, I guarantee you, it would not be the hollywood success that it was. The plot was weak, at best. The dialogue was surprisingly average and the best parts were improvised by the actors. But all in all, it was a light (and predictable) comedy that was made hilarious by Carell. And if you go into it with that attitude, then you will also love Date Night.

As a small tangent: I was a teeny bit disappointed in Tina Fey. I am typically such a huge fan of hers but somehow, I found her to be awfully flat in this movie. She wasn't exactly believable. Or something. I can't put my finger on it. She was just *there*. And considering how much presence Steve Carell had, it was a little off-putting to see how little she brought to the movie. That role could have been given to any other hollywood actress. Actually, I think Sandy Bullock could have played the role better. But alas, it was still a great movie and I give it 2 enthusiastic thumbs up. It is also most definitely quotable. One of my favourite quotes was "Why don't you shirt up?". And the parts where Carell kept calling James Franco a "whore" (pardonez my francais!).

So in a nutshell: If you are in the mood for a good laugh, you must watch this movie.

Side note: If you are in the mood for a typical Adam Sandler movie (and also a good laugh), I also TOTALLY recommend Grown Ups. Yet another two hours of pure laughter (combined with awkward "ew gross" humor). Maybe I'll review that one in detail later though.

That's all for today folks!! This blog post was brought to you courtesy of "Alphabet Pal" because it has kept my daughter busy for exactly 15-20 minutes which is how long I've been writing this post. Sorry peeps - no time for typo checks or proofreading. From now on, you're getting my blog posts RAW.

ENJOY!!

ps. Did you see Date night?

post signature

Phew!

2010-08-24T19:32:00.003-04:00

Well, here I am!

*crickets chirping*

I confess: I don't even know where to start. So much has happened to me in the last few months, and I'm just coming up for air now. It has truly been insane, balancing my new life as a mom and continuing to be a resident. To be frank, I'm still bitter about my measly 5 weeks of maternity leave. Whenever I hear about women in Canada getting an entire paid year off, it irritates me. America's laws seem barbaric in comparison. But I managed. I survived. And I went back to work. I got back into the swing of things rather quickly and if anything, I feel as though work got hardera little proud of myself.

But you wanna know something? Work got harder. Here I thought that getting rid of the "pregnancy" factor would make things easier but it didn't! It just complicated things. And I've got a new quote that I use on a daily basis:

Being a mother has turned me into a much better Pediatrician but being a Pediatrician has turned me into a much worse mother.

I just know too much. If my child is too pale, I immediately think of cancer. If she has a fever, I jump to the meningitis conclusion. If she bangs her head...well, you get the idea. I try with all of my power NOT to be a pediatrician to my child but in all honesty, the lines get blurred. And it's not just me. This poor kid has two doctor parents. One who knows too much about kids and their worst illnesses(me) and one who knows adult medicine only but knows enough to freak out about a runny nose.

To add insult to injury, I've become a 2nd year resident now , which is basically a senior resident. Suddenly, a lot more responsibility is being thrown my way and I'm accountable for a lot more. I feel that as an intern, I had a great balance of work and home life but now, not so much. My clinic patients are following me around (which is a great thing, don't get me wrong) but with that also means more phone calls, more follow ups, more "homework" basically. Have I lost you yet?

Not to mention that my little one has started daycare and the colds and illnesses are starting to surface.

Okay. See? See how scattered my thoughts are? So I have a new resolution. Because every time I get to a time like this, where I finally get the chance to breathe, this is what I do. I regroup. I take a step back. I look at my life. I remember the positives (there are so many). And then I make a list. A lot of people have asked me: "How do you do it? How do you juggle a crazy time-consuming job, writing a book , raising a daughter and handling every day life?". Well, there are two parts to that answer. The first part involves the really bad times (the 80 hour weeks, the tiring work schedule, the absolute exhaustion, sleep deprivation and night schedules and whatnot) and during those times, I'm just on survival mode. I just take it one day at a time and look forward to the end. I'm like a robot. Wake up. Go to work. Eat (barely). Sleep (rarely). Go home, take care of my child and do it all over again the next day.

THEN, when it finally slows down, like I said, I breathe, I take a step back, I look at my life and this is what I do: I make resolutions. And I update them EVERY day. And they are small things. Little, tiny, do-able checklists. For instance, I don't go making a list that reads: "Write 2nd Milestones novel".

No way.

That is entirely way too intimidating and I would never accomplish anything that way. My goals are little. For instance, I have a goal to write ONE PAGE of my new book, per night. Most times, I keep going after one page, but even if I stop, I've at least accomplished my tiny goal and I end up feeling fulfilled. Make sense?

And to add one more element to the "How do you do it?" question...I do it with the help of my family. Immediate and extended. I have SO much help. I have so much support (in the form of friends too) that I can't just let you believe I do it all on my own. Because I don't. And I know when to ask for help. And it's often!

So for today, I bid you farewell. I have a few little things to accomplish tonight including starting and finishing a journal club presentation for tomorrow. Be on the lookout for my blog makeover...

More posts to come. One of my mini-goals is to blog every day or every other day, time permitting. Until then!

post signature

I'm done!!

2010-08-19T09:24:00.003-04:00

The last four months have been hellaceous. My return from maternity leave left me with four back-to-back-to-back-to-back months of residency stress: hospital wards, then PICU, then wards again, then night float (which is the night shift of the wards). Needless to say....I'm pooped. I think I had a total of 14 random days off in the last 4 months. Consider for a moment what that means. That's a maximum of four per month.

BUT - I'm done.

Which means?

I'm back!!

Please just give me a few days to recuperate (my BFF's are in the air, as we speak, on their way to visit me), and I will return with a vengeance. I'm looking into revising the blog's look and getting started on Milestones 2 promotions and ...well, tons more blogging! I have SOO much tell you guys.

A preview: blogs about motherhood, daycare (sob!), babies, work (gosh, I never run out of those), residency and the recent movement to ruin it, movies I've seen (Date night anyone? Omigosh, Steve Carrell is truly my FAVE), resolutions, premonitions, book reviews, more interviews, upcoming adventures etc, etc...It's all coming soon. Thanks for your patience! :)

Until then!

Ps. How the heck have YOU been?

post signature

Author Interview

2010-06-24T14:18:00.003-04:00

Today, I get to turn the tables and be the intervieWER instead of the intervieWEE. Very exciting stuff. So without further delay, meet Mr. Kelly Pulley. He is a children's author/illustrator and has written this awesome book entitled "Ten unusual features of Lulu McDunn". I read this book to my 3 month old at least twice a week and she loves it.

See below for our virtual interview and be sure to check out his new book if you've got a little one at home. It has a great message, beautiful illustrations (courtesy of Mr. Pulley) and is a very cute tale overall.

post signature

Hi, I'm Kelly Pulley. I'm a children's book illustrator and author of the picture book Ten unusual Features of Lulu McDunn.

1- Tell us a little about yourself.

I'm a 50 year old father of 4 who never really grew up. Just ask any of my kids. I was raised in Indiana but have lived in middle Tennessee for the past 15 years.

2- How did you get the inspiration for Lulu McDunn? Tell us about it.

That's a tough one to answer. Lulu just sort of happened. I started out, as I usually do, with no real idea of what to write about. My first thought was to write a simple counting book for very young children, but I didn't want to count the usual things; balls, blocks, kittens, etc... I wanted something more "unusual." I know how kids are, always finding something about themselves that they don't like and wish they could change. One thing lead to another, sometimes the ideas come just from trying to find a word that rhymes and has the right number of syllables. When Lulu was finished I thought to myself, "Wow, where did that come from?"

3- My daughter absolutely loves your book and she's barely 3 months old! I think it has something to do with the pictures and the rhymes. Do you write poetry often?

I do enjoy writing in rhyme and meter. Most of what I write is in that style. You have very strict rules and limitations, you must use the correct number of syllables per word and per line, with the emphasis on the right syllables and of course there are the rhyming words. Some would find all these rules restrictive and complicated but I find it forces me to find exactly the right words.

4- You are a very talented illustrator! When did you discover this talent?

I really don't remember. My mother is a gifted artist as are my siblings. Art was always in our home growing up. As far back as I can remember I was doing arts and crafts and drawing pictures. I did my first oil painting when I was 7.

5- What are your plans and ambitions for the future?

I find the story writing process to be one of the most fun, rewarding and sometimes most frustrating things I have ever done. I just love it! And then completing the stories with my own illustrations just adds to my satisfaction. I'd like to continue writing and illustrating my own stories and hopefully in the not-too-distant future be able to work primarily on those and be more selective with freelance illustration.

6- What are some of your hobbies?

Bicycling is my favorite hobby, it takes a lot of my spare time. I also enjoy, reading, hiking and just hanging with my kids.

7- Any plans for future books?

My most recent story has a bicycling theme. No big surprise there! The working title is The Cycling Wangdoos. It has more of a traditional story line than Lulu and the illustrations are in a much different, more contemporary, sophisticated style. I'm hoping for a 2011 release date... we'll see. I've got a lot of stories in the works.

8- Where can people find/order Lulu McDunn?

It will be available at local and chain bookstores, direct from Frog Legs Ink(Gauthier Publications) or they can ask for it at their local library.

9- Any parting words?

Ten Unusual Features of Lulu McDunn has a great message, but most of all, it's a lot of fun; not just for young children, but also for their parents to read. It was written to be read out loud, even if you're the only person in the room. I hope you enjoy it and it gives you a laugh.

10- Where can people read/learn more about you and your work?

www.kellypulley.com and www.froglegsink.com

I think I have PTSD

2010-06-10T02:03:00.002-04:00

PTSD.

Aka post-traumatic stress disorder.

I think I have it.

My night was truly awful last night. Thankfully, nobody died but they sure tried to. Lots of running around like a chicken with no head. Lots of "putting out fires" activity. Lots of panicking. Lots of wishing I could be at home sleeping. Lots of juggling.

It was rough.

Picture it: Me. The PICU. 7 very sick kids. Me. Alone.

I learned a lot about myself last night.

#1- I don't like not knowing things.
#2- There are still too many things I don't know.
#3- I panic. Most times, I panic internally but occasionally, I panic and let it show.
#4- Those are the times when I am panicking the worst.
#5- I don't like it when parents are in the room when something bad is happening.
#6- I don't like it when parents are in the room when I am panicking.
#7- When I am panicking, I think out loud.
#8- I thought out loud a lot last night.

In the morning , my attending called me and asked me how things were/went. I could only reply with, "Well, they're all still alive". I don't know how he took that. He only replied with, "Well, that's always a good thing". Yes. It's always a good thing.

But still. I'm traumatized. So traumatized that I can't go into the full details on the blog. It may just have to be something I keep to myself for a while. Until I'm done with this and have moved onto something else. Needless to say, I'm not a PICU lover.

PICU, by the way, is pronounced pick-you.

I have one more night in the pick-you. Then I spend the rest of the month doing pick-you days. Days are much better than nights. I think. I hope.

Okay. Enough blogging. Back to the pick-you. Four more hours then one more night and I'm done with nights until August.....

Questions?

post signature

Be careful what you wish for

2010-06-09T01:50:00.002-04:00

I knew that if I blogged about the "slow" PICU , karma would kick me in the behind. And it did. I am now officially drowning in intensive care wilderness. Wish me luck.

Ps. Thanks JL. ;)

post signature

Summer Nights (also known as PICU nights)

2010-06-07T20:35:00.002-04:00

I'm working in the PICU right now. That stands for Pediatric Intensive Care Unit. Oh and I'm on the night shift for 9 days in a row (from 5pm to 6am). The PICU is one of the most intense and difficult rotations of our residency. The kids here are SICK and any one of them could die at any time. And a lot of times, many times actually, they do. And most of those times, they die because of unstoppable circumstances or inevitability but the truth is, nobody wants to be the one on call when a child dies. Because no matter what the cause or reason, you will ultimately feel 100% responsible. No matter what. It's hard.

I'm currently on night 5 of my 9 night stretch. And on average, I've had 1 patient a night. This is like, unheard of in the ICU world. ONE sick patient in this entire area? Where did all the rest go?

The first two nights, I was floating around like a bubble, happy go-lucky and loving life. But then it dawned on me: no patients for me equals no learning. No learning, equals no future life saving. It's sad and twisted but it's true. My entire future as a Pediatrician rides on the experiences I get as a resident. I need kids to be sick. That is the only way I'll learn. So one patient a night is just not gonna cut it. What happens next year, when I'm no longer an intern, and I'm back in the PICU and I have to run a code? Nobody is going to believe me when I say, "I don't know what I'm doing because I've never done this before". Or , heck, maybe they'll believe me but they care.

Now for me, I get paid no matter what. But the nurses here in the ICU only get paid if they work. And they only work if there are patients. So most of them are also, in a twisted way, praying for sick kids. Weird, eh? It's not like we're sitting here wishing bad upon people or their children. No way. May heaven keep all children safe forever more. But we're wishing that IF there are sick kids out there, that they don't go to other hospitals and they rush to ours. We've even been jinxing ourselves by posting up our "boredom" status on facebook, by touching the crash carts, by telling everyone how bored we are , etc, etc..In hopes that the flood gates will open. And I know they will. Because this is definitely the calm before the storm. And once the storm hits, you will likely be hearing a lot of whining from me , this is for sure. But the truth is, I have to suck it up, and learn.

Spending the nights in a hospital unit is difficult. I sleep all day and I work all night and I barely see daylight or the outdoors. I feel as though life is passing me by. Even though it's only for 9 nights, but still. It feels like a lot. At nights, I sit here, studying, reading, checking on my patients obsessively (you have to in the PICU), and I do silly things like calculate how much time I spend indoors versus outdoors. Or how many nights I will work in total. Next year, I will work well over 1.5 months in night shifts. That's the switch-off I have to do for not having to work 30 hour shifts anymore.

Oh and let's not forget the lack of family time. I won't even touch on how little I see my little girl because it hurts to much to mention...but my husband and I see each other in passing, like two ships sailing in the night. Occasionally, he will come and have dinner with me at work, and we'll sit there and talk about our kid and the life we hope to have someday. This morning, at 6am, as I was driving home, our cars passed each other, going in opposite directions. We rolled down the windows, gave each other a knowing look, smiled, blew a kiss and went on with our respective days. If you consider that we both do night shifts (and they are never at the same time), that's over 3 months a year where we don't see each other AT ALL. Like two college roommies with opposite class schedules. Such is the life of two resident interns. Did you know?

I'm not saying this in a "woe is me" manner, but actually, my tone is meant to be very matter-of-fact. This is it. Two more years and then we shall see what type of jobs we can have. All I know is that we both crave more family time. It's lucky we love what we do. Otherwise, this would be completely unbearable....But I am rambling.

More blogging to come later. Are you still there reader?

post signature

I heart Hugh Grant

2010-06-05T23:06:00.002-04:00

It's official. I think he's absolutely hilarious. Some of my favorite movies star Hugh Grant. Bridget Jones, Two Weeks Notice, Music and Lyrics. And here's another: Did you hear about the Morgans?

Have you seen this movie? I just rented it and I find it absolutely hilarious. What an absolute surprise! I anticipated that it would be very mundane in a "been there, done that" type of way. But here I am, laughing out loud at Hugh Grant over and over again.

I highly recommend it. Perhaps I find it funnier than most because I relate to the whole "big city girl who moved to a small town" theme, but truly. It's hilarious. You should see it. And when you do, let me know what you think.

post signature

Yup. I'm still here.

2010-06-03T06:27:00.002-04:00

I know, I know, it's been so long since I've blogged. I do apologize. My excuse? Well, I've been on two hard rotations since I've gone back to work from mat leave.

Some things that have happened lately:

* I am officially done with 30 hour shifts and "call" every 4th night. As of my second year of residency (which begins July 1), I do 24 hour shifts at a maximum of 3times per MONTH. And of course, I do night shifts.....which brings me to my next point.

* I am currently in the Pediatric ICU , the most intimidating rotation of all residency. And I start on nights which means I work 5pm till 6am for 9 days straight. So picture this: A bunch of pediatric sick kids in the ICU, a bunch of ICU nurses who have been doing this a long time but who each take care of 1 or 2 patients...and me. The lone ranger. If a trauma comes in, I have to be there. If a child crashes anywhere within the hospital, I have to be there. If anyone in the ER looks too sick to be on the pediatric hospital floor, I bring them in.

* Being on nights may mean more blogging. We will see.

* I have four difficult months in a row. May: Pediatric Hospital Wards. June: ICU. July: Wards again. August: Hospital wards (the night shift). Be prepared for burnout blogs. ;)

* The weather got really hot really fast here in Texas. Too bad I'm always at work otherwise it would be perfect swimming weather.

Okay. That's all she wrote today. Thanks for tuning in!

post signature

Guest post

2010-05-23T08:49:00.003-04:00

One of my readers has a class assignment and has asked me to share her poem with the world. For the project, they had to write about something they feel strongly about or something they want to change. She was inspired by Laurie Anderson's award winning book entitled "Speak" and the topic of her poem has to do with the environment and the excessive tree-cutting that goes on in our world.

Great job Phyllis!! Love the poem. It is clear that it comes from a place of much emotion and those are always the best pieces.

Reminds me of that song: Don't it always seem to go, that you don't know what you've got till it's gone....They paved paradise and put up a parking lot...

post signature

Time is Dying
By: Phyllis Capdevielle

They know it's wrong,
but no feelings arise.
It's obvious
but no one notices,
But I do.
I ask why.
I scream
They don't care.
They don't stop.
Their laughter carries
Like hurricane on land.
Destroying.
Beautiful brillant colors,
Dying.
All fading to black,
to darkness.
Time is dying.

Life cries for help,
but it can't be heard.
Because we live in a deaf society.
Only a few
can hear the murmer.
And even less do anything,
but I am the less.
The less that turns more.
Time is dying.

One by one
life falls,
but no one sees.
Because we live in a blind society.
Their laughter is sharp.
Sharp as an ax.
The ax doing its
deady job,
Am I the only one that cares?
Time is dying.

The last one falls
making no sound.
Making no color,
No life,
No happiness.
I ask
if someone cares.
But of course
they do not.
Time is dead.

Random Quickie Thoughts

2010-05-16T07:47:00.003-04:00

* It's hard to find time to blog when I'm back at work, pulling 30 hour shifts every fourth night and getting to see my kid so little as it is. Sorry. Family time comes first. But I am working on Milestones 2! There just aren't enough hours in the day!

* You know how when computers started gaining popularity, everyone got carpel tunnel syndrome? Well, I'm gonna be the first to coin a new term!! Are you ready for it? Here it goes: I'm gonna call it Armin Syndrome and it has to do with the arthritis people get in their THUMBS when they are constantly using their iphone. Case in point: Me! My right thumb is totally arthritic you guys! It's sore and it hurts most of the time. And it took me a while to realize WHY this was the case until I realized that it's because of my stupid iphone, my constant texting and answering most of my 100 emails on my iphone!

And so since I want to be medically famous, from now on, we will call that "Armin Syndrome". I think it suits it quite well because your "thumb" is "in" your "arm".

Right?? Can this catch on?

* Anyone watching the Office lately? Doesn't it get more hilarious by the episode?

* So I finally saw Avatar. I think I've eluded to this in the past but I'm a big sci-fi junkie and I've gotta say, I'm totally disappointed. I mean, the special effects were awesome. But there are SOO many flaws with this story! I will try to blog about them in detail later on. But for starters, does the story not totally stink of Pocahontas ? I think James Cameron is losing his touch. Actually , I know he is. His last Terminator movie blew too.

* Is it bad that I'm 30 years old and my favorite store is STILL American Eagle? Is that weird? Or strange? I could buy the entire store and wear it proudly. What's your favorite store?

Okay. Must run. TOTALLY late for work. Another 30 hour shift awaits! But after this, I have 3 more 30 hour shifts to do...forever! In our 2nd and 3rd year residencies, we do 24 hour shifts only and the most we ever do is 2 in a month. Which sure beats the 7 we do as interns! Of course, we have a lot more night shifts as 2nd and 3rd years, but that's another story.

Speaking of which. I'll be a 2nd year Pediatric Resident on July 1st. Almost 1/3 of the way done!!

Stay Classy yall!

post signature

No

2010-05-03T19:51:00.003-04:00

There's a moment, in a hospital room, after a child dies, after the time of death has been called....I call it the unfinished moment. A bitter and thick silence fills the room and everyone just stands there, unsure of what to do. Doctors, nurses, techs...No one quite believing what has happened. Everyone wanting to do something more. Because it's at that moment that you remember how difficult it is to comprehend mortality. That child was here a few minutes ago, breathing air, and now he's not. Now he's not. Now.... he's just there. A corpse. A shell. He won't wake up anymore.

Ever.

Just like that. It's the end.

I went to work today. For the last two weeks, I've been back at work but mainly doing clinic stuff. Today , was my first day back in the hospital wards and I should have known the type of day it would be after I dropped and spilled my Starbucks coffee before even taking my first sip. It was the kind of day where I found out that one of my favorite patients passed away overnight.

No.

It just can't be. I refuse to believe it.

This kid...I don't know if I've blogged about him before. Let's just say that he was a sweetheart. A sweetheart with a medical condition that was difficult to pinpoint. He had "something" but we could never figure out what. He just kept coming to the hospital, almost on the verge of death, heart stopping , needing resuscitation and then recovering almost instantly to his old, perky adorable self. He underwent more testing than any human should. Oh, and he was three years old.

In the end, we couldn't figure out what was wrong with him and in the end, this uncertainty killed him. No. This uncertainty is what allowed him to die. There will be an autopsy. I'm not sure what it will show. All I know is that it won't bring him back.

I'm stuck. I'm stuck in the unfinished moment. I can't wrap my head around the fact that he was alive yesterday and he isn't alive today. Why was he brought into this world as a 23 week preemie, fighting every day for his life, against all the odds and proving to this world how much of a fighter he is...only to die so pointlessly three years later? What is that? I don't get it. I just don't get it. I can't wrap my head around it. The unfinished moment is lingering longer this time. Perhaps because I'm a mother now. Perhaps because he held a very special place in my heart. Perhaps because I wasn't ready for this news right now. I'm not sure. All I know is that it still hasn't sunken in. I've walked around all day, like an aimless bubble, talking to all kinds of doctors and nurses, my co-workers, my colleagues, asking for and craving more details, thirsty for any new piece of information that will allow me move to on. But it's not working. Nothing is working this time.

Too many children have died since I started my residency in July. Too many children die each day. There is no justice.

And that's all I can bring myself to write about today. I have to go hold my daughter now.

post signature

Random Tuesday Thoughts

2010-04-27T07:33:00.002-04:00

*Finally!! The weather is warming up! What a fantastic and welcome gift! It's truly amazing but it puts me in such a better mood. The weather right now is absolutely gorgeous (every day) and I am loving every minute of it. All I want to do is be outdoors. I cannot wait until it's 'swimming pool' weather.

*This is totally out there but I'm wondering: are Blockbuster (and video stores in general) becoming obsolete? With the popularity of Red Box and Pay Per View, who wants to go pay money to a video store that is going to keep harassing you with late fees and phone calls? Red Box only costs 1$ a day (a fraction of what Blockbuster charges you) and Pay Per View costs the same amount as Blockbuster and you never have to leave your home. And if you are so inclined to watch and 'older' movie, then you may as well buy it as most of them are under 10 bucks at local stores. In a way, I feel sorry for Blockbuster. There's something to be said about home movie nights (the way we had them growing up). You know, going to the video store on a Friday night, buying microwave popcorn and candy, picking out 2 or 3 movies and going home and watching them excitedly. I feel sorry that my kids likely won't experience that.

* My first patient back at work was born around the same time as my daughter and ended up having what we call "neonatal fever". A fever in the first 2 months of life basically. It's no fun. The baby has to get a bunch of blood drawn , has to have an IV placed, has to have a chest xray, a urinary catheter and worst of all, a lumbar puncture. My heart went out to that family. Thankfully, I hear she is doing okay now and was discharged home. The fear at this age is meningitis. It is imperative to treat the patient with IV antibiotics in a timely fashion (before even confirming your diagnosis) in order to prevent severe neurological sequelae. I've seen what meningitis can do to a baby. A five month old in fact. My work colleagues will know exactly which baby I'm referring to. He spent a few months in the hospital only to be released to a neuro-rehabiliation center. He came into the hospital as a smiling, happy baby with age-appropriate milestones and left as a neurologically devastated ...well, vegetable. No suck reflex. No smile. No gaze. No eye contact. Seizure after seizure after seizure. Fever after fever after fever. He had to be fed by a tube....and....well, have I depressed you enough? Needless to say, it's heartbreaking.

Okay! Those are my only thoughts for today! I must run. Be good y'all. Thanks for tuning in.

post signature

The Big Bang Theory

2010-04-14T09:16:00.002-04:00

See? I told you I would make an effort to blog regularly. Here I am, two days after my last post, drinking my coffee and doing one of the things I love most: writing. Life is good.

In today's post, I'd like to discuss a TV show. I'm not sure if you're noticed, but I'm kind of a nerd. Okay, I confess. I'm full on nerd. Have always been and will always be 100% nerdoriffic. I mean, thanks to my dad (thanks Dad), I heart all science-fiction related things and well, I turned out to be very much into academia, science and all other nerdy things.

Whoa. You can tell it's been a while since I've written, I can't seem to find my words and am using a lot of "things" lately. Here's the thing: The thing is, I'm so busy with the thing, that I still have to find my thing and get back into the groove of things so until then, bare with my thinginess and thanks for being a great thing. :)

Back to nerds. I am one. I love Star Trek, Star Wars and like I said, any science fiction movie including that one with Tim Allen that makes fun of Star Trek that nobody else has ever seen or heard of. To further prove my point, I am also a sucker for Harry Potter (though I think I've made that obsession quite clear on this blog). To add insult to injury, my best friends are also nerds. We are all very different on the outside but deep down, in our souls, we are all hardcore nerds who get and truly understand each other. So that's why, it came as no surprise , in our last 3-way skype chat that we have all discovered (and LOVE) the show The Big Bang Theory. Here we are, sprawled across the world, in three different countries (Canada, Australia and USA) and we have all fallen in love with this show that is essentially about nerds!

Have you seen this show? I think you must. No, let me rephrase that. If you have any nerdiness in you, you must. It is truly hilarious and a brilliant concept and the jokes are beyond what any sitcom has dared to venture into in the past. Last week's show, for instance, had a guest appearance by Wesley Crusher from Star Trek: The Next Generation. That alone is abdominal-cramp funny to me. Then throw in the concept that Sheldon (best character ever adapted to television, IMHO) hates Wesley.... what can I say? It's just bloody hilarious. Did anyone see that episode? The last scene, with the costumes had me rolling on the floor. And if you haven't seen the show, and are even remotely interested in nerdy "things" , then I totally recommend it. I am super glad for its existence because seriously, since the end of Friends, I have had a huge gaping hole in my life, where sitcoms are concerned.

Speaking of which, do you watch sitcoms? If yes, which ones? I also occasionally watch How I met your Mother , which I characterize as "cute" and nothing more because personally, it is an ABSOLUTE rip-off of Friends. I could name you a million examples. Every episode can be traced back to a Friends episode (with a twist). But I digress. Point being, I'd love to know what sitcoms you watch and find funny.

In the meantime, Stay Classy San Diego!

ps. Thanks Jen for thinking of me! And as a trip down memory lane: I voood like to buy a ahmboorger. :)

post signature